leeper@mtgzx.att.com (Mark R. Leeper) (05/24/89)
EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY
A film review by Mark R. Leeper
Copyright 1989 Mark R. Leeper
Capsule review: Helium-weight comedy has a typical
Valley Girl (played by Geena Davis) meeting a bright blue
furry alien (played by Jeff Goldblum looking like a flea-
market bathmat). EARTH GIRLS is based on the Julie Brown
song of the same title. Director Julien Temple also directed
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS and it was much better. Rating: high 0.
It all started when witty and moderately attractive Julie Brown nearly
made it to being chosen homecoming queen. As she tells it, rather than just
being disappointed she struck back by writing songs making fun of all the
institutions her friends enjoyed. Her songs--now a popular staple of the
Dr. Demento show--include "Everybody Run, the Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun,"
"'Cause I'm a Blond," and "Earth Girls Are Easy." The last was done in a
Valley Girl accent as an air-head describes a close encounter of a fourth
kind with non-humanoid aliens. When the song was sold to be made as a film,
Brown rephrased it to delete the non-humanoid references. She also co-wrote
the script and plays a prominent role in the film.
EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY hides the fact that it is really a British
production, directed by Julian Temple. Temple directed the kinetically
stunning ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS, which unfortunately never found its market and
which died at the boxoffice. EARTH GIRLS is a much less ambitious film, but
it probably is light and mindless enough to make the profit the other film
missed.
EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY opens with a sort of pop-art spaceship in a pop-
art space scene. Inside are three shaggy aliens, each one of the primary
colors (red, yellow, and blue), and each looking for female companionship.
Loneliest of all is Mac (played by Jeff Goldblum), who is not just merely
blue, he's really most sincerely blue. But our three aliens strike it
lucky: they pick up a television broadcast from Earth and discover that this
planet has girls!
Meanwhile, one such girl is Valerie (played by Geena Davis--a mere
decade too old for the role). Valerie, the Valley Girl air-head of the
song, is engaged to Ted (played by--can you believe it?--Charles Rocket!), a
doctor who cannot resist *playing* doctor whenever he is given the
opportunity. Julie catches Ted about to play "Dr. Love" with a nurse and
she throws him out of his own house.
[Sorry--this next part has to be done in Valley Girl accent.] Well,
like she's feeling all bummed out the next day, ya know, and like sitting
next to Ted's pool soaking up sun when--like wow!--this totally tubular
spaceship falls out of the sky and like, ya know, splashes down right there
in the pool. Awesome! She should know she can't make it with Mac because
he's like blue, ya know, and all covered with hair. And, like they're from
two different worlds. But then, hey, this is science fiction. [Okay,
that's enough of that.]
Temple's view of Americans is not very perceptive. His production
numbers look like they are borrowed from GREASE and from 1960s beach blanket
movies. He does have one very nice dream sequence, an homage to the props
of better-known science fiction films, but that is as close as EARTH GIRLS
ARE EASY ever gets to art. If there is an idea to this sci-fi (in the worst
sense) film Temple has made clear that it is an unwelcome guest and has
sentenced it to solitary confinement. I rate this cotton candy film a 0 on
the -4 to +4 scale. Like wow.
Mark R. Leeper
att!mtgzx!leeper
leeper@mtgzx.att.commoriarty@tc.fluke.com (Jeff Meyer) (12/03/89)
EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY
A film review by Jeff Meyer
Copyright 1989 Jeff Meyer
[Seen at the Seattle International Film Festival]
EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY (USA, 1988)
Director: Julian Temple
Screenwriters: Julie Brown, Charlie Coffey, Terrance E. McNally
Cast: Gena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Julie Brown, Jim Carrey, Damon Waylans,
Michael McKean, Charles Rocket
As Dennis Miller might say, "Hey, what can I tell ya?" You got your horny
aliens from outer space, who (once they've had the Nair treatment) look just
like humans. You got your attractive, pleasant, somewhat naive hairdresser
who's looking for Mr. Right. You've got that mythical plastic Southern
California Suburban World of beaches, bimbos and blondes to let the cast play
around with. And you've got 45 minutes of the old "gotta keep the nice aliens
from being discovered" theme, which was getting stale back when Bill Bixby
hadn't even thought about having a weekly green steroid treatment. What do YOU
think is going to happen?
Well, you're right. Outside of some of Julie Brown's bouncy pop tunes,
there isn't much here to entertain. There's certainly no surprises; I found
about two jokes funny (and a nice shot which is FLY-inspired), and the scenes
with Goldblum (head alien and romantic love interest of Davis' character (and,
I guess, Davis)) and company learning Earth customs is a pale retread of other
pale retreads. (I can remember the one part I enjoyed -- the prosthetic tongue
scene -- simply because it stood out among such a completely familiar
background.) Goldblum looks a little uncomfortable, even for a space alien in
California. Davis holds up well, and you end up hoping that she and Goldblum
had a good time working together again. Charles Rocket plays his usual role as
the yuppie rotter; he must be sorry that MOONLIGHTING is gone, as it appears to
be the only place he ever got to stretch his talents some. The only thing I
really enjoyed about the film were the opening credits (you'd think they were
done by Pee-wee Herman), the art direction, and the old SF props/masks/suits
that they got out for Davis' dream sequence. Other than that, *yawn*.
I have the feeling that the director and screenwriters saw HAIRSPRAY and
thought they were working at something similar here. They aren't; HAIRSPRAY is
an immensely well-crafted film that balances its elements with exceptional
precision, and comes out with a film that is parody, satire AND an actual
"teen" film at the same time. This film just reminds you of how many comic
alien films you've seen before, and that while you might like Julie Brown's
songs, at least they're over in five minutes.
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
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