rdd@walt.cc.utexas.edu (Robert Dorsett) (06/01/90)
FIRE BIRDS
A film review by Robert Dorsett
Copyright 1990 Robert Dorsett
The previews of FIRE BIRDS make it out to be another TOP GUN: when
I first saw them, my reaction was "is that legal?" The plots seemed to
be almost identical. Well, I was wrong: the plots are slightly
different, and TOP GUN is the better movie. I kid you not.
FIRE BIRDS is a confused (or, in the words of one patron in the
audience, "stupid") movie that pitches AH-64 Apaches against the
Villain of the Week, the "drug cartel." Its central characters are two
rather egocentric, immature men, one a pilot (played by Nicholas Cage),
the other his instructor (played by Tommy Lee Jones). No, kids, Sean
Young doesn't play a terribly noteworthy role, except, perhaps, to give
women someone to identify with (I am starting to understand the bean
counters in Hollywood, and strongly suspect this to be the case). All
three pilots are Good. Damned Good. The Best. You know the type.
:-)
The story (let's see if I got this right) has a group of Apache
pilots being trained to provide air support for a Gesta--uh, DEA, raid
against some kind of summit conference of Drug Lords. Cage plays the
young bronco, Young the love interest. Besides personality problems,
Cage has a problem flying with a night vision gizmo (which turns out to
be utterly irrelevant), and develops a competition of wits with his
instructor, who has just turned 40.
The two bright spots in the movie are the character of Jones, as
well as his performance; and the nice photography. Unlike TOP GUN, the
dogfights in this movie can actually be followed. If one ignores the
absurdity of pushing the old Apache (or any helicopter) as a fighter
(the movie got extensive support from the Army and McDonnell Douglas, so
its PR aspect is undoubtedly well considered), most of the combat
sequences are pretty fun.
Problem is, though, one has to wade through some of the stupidest,
corniest dialog of all time, in order to get to the good parts. For
this reason, I give this movie a 6/10 rating.
In terms of letter grades, here's how it stocks against the other
"Summer Blockbusters" so far:
CADILLAC MAN C+
FIRE BIRDS C
BIRD ON A WIRE D
Some may question my assigning letter grades to these flicks, but this
*is* a competition to see who makes the most money, and grades *are* a
commonly-used means assigning relative standards of mediocrity. :-) Not
even the shallowest movie-goer can call these Works of Art. Although
some have tried their best-- a few on this very newsgroup! :-) :-)
---
Robert Dorsett, disappointed in the summer's crop of movies so far.
Internet: rdd@rascal.ics.utexas.edu
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