frankm@microsoft.UUCP (Frank MALONEY) (04/22/91)
IF LOOKS COULD KILL
A film review by Frank Maloney
Copyright 1991 Frank Maloney
IF LOOKS COULD KILL, starring Richard Grieco, will be a very
amusing $2 rental in the video store. At $3.50 matinee rates, it still
provided some honest laughs but I cannot recommend it to anyone who can
wait a while (a short while judging from the three other people in the
auditorium at the Friday 5 PM showing) to see this personable, hunky guy
with great pecs and good definition in the tummy spend a five-minute
scene in rather abbreviated jockey shorts. Obviously, I couldn't.
The movie, which hardly merits a serious review, is a parody of
secret-agent flicks and especially of GOLDFINGER, my favorite Bond
movie. Like the old Punch cartoon of the country vicar being served bad
eggs by his bishop: "Parts are excellent." And indeed, the movie romps
along powered by the idea of a wise-guy going to France with his
French-teacher-from-Hell and the French Club to make up his French
class; he is immediately mistaken for Secret Agent Man who in the first
of many coincidences has assumed the same name as the Grieco character.
The bad guys include Linda Hunt, having a lot of fun with a bad German
accent and a gold whip that does double duty as her necklace.
The scene where Grieco tours the weapons lab and get his shiny new
gadgets including a Bondian sports car is pretty rich. Unfortunately,
the movie slows down occasionally to take itself a little seriously, to
introduce the love element, and to make room for a couple of MTV videos.
The woman who plays the French teacher is rather wonderful as is the
madman intent on stealing all the gold in Europe, Hunt's boss (?).
Also unfortunate is the skimpy special effects budget and enough
editing errors to fuel r.a.m. for a year.
Look for it next month.
--
Frank Richard Aloysius Jude Maloney