jlilien@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Joel Lilienkamp) (02/18/84)
With all of this talk recently about tailgaters and left laners running around the net these days, I thought I would share the highlights of the 1984 March Motor Trend's "Editor's Report" entitled "Unspeakable Acts". In this column, Tony Swan elaborates on the "amazing amount of dumb stuff going on out there on America's streets and roads." He begins by relating an experience involving a dove gray Cadillac Eldorado whose driver was reading the morning paper on his way to work, arbitrarily changing lanes without knowledge. He quickly points out that owning a Caddy does not make one a bad driver, just as owning the ultimate driving machine (BMW) is a privalage of anyone with money; there is no need to demonstrate qualifications as being the ultimate driver. He then goes on to identify the ten most unspeakable acts of non-driving. These include: They Shall not Pass Syndrome: This occurs when as you attempt to pass a vehicle, the driver increases the speed 10 to 15 mph just to keep you from passing. Secret Left Turners: These are the drivers sitting at a red traffic light (in the leftmost lane where no left turn lane is provided) who know full well they are going to turn left, but do not signal their intentions to turn until the light turns green. Left Laners: These are the guys we have been talking about. Swan the claim that if people would observe the basic principle of using the left lanes for passing, but not cruising, that urban congestion would be eased by 16-17%. He does not substantiate this claim nor give a source for the data. Freeway Beauticians: These are the ladies who apply their makeup while driving to work. Rush-hour readers: These are the guys who read while they drive. Swan also includes map-readers in this group. Gapsters: These are the drivers who leave an entire cars length or more between them and the car in front while stopped at a traffic signal. Perpetual Blinkers: These are the cars who drive continuously with a turn blinker on with no intention of turning. Enforcers: A variation of the left laner, complicated by a pathological need to enforce the 55 mph limit on others. Four-way Foulers: A driver who does not understand how an intersection with four-way stop signs are supposed to work, and hence screw it up. Bright Lighters: These are those who follow you or come at you with their bright lights on. He does not include bright- flashers in this group--only those drivers who forget to turn them off. He complains particularly loudly about those drivers who figure any sort of median in the road absolves them from having to dim for oncoming traffic. While I don't necessarily agree with the importance of every unspeakable act (e.g., gapsters), I do agree that driving would be safer and more fun if people didn't do such things. All in all, I found the article quite enjoyable to read, and I strongly recommend it to all net.autoites and net.flamers. Joel