mata@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Rondal C. Ellifritt) (03/21/85)
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR OWN COMMUNIST PLOT *** Here at the U of Chicago (where the first controlled self-sustaining nuclear (*KEYWORD*) reaction was accomplished) we have a large population of communist sympathizers (*KEYWORDS*). There are a number of rumors about the potential smuggling (*KEYWORD*) of a Vax (or maybe a Pyramid) into the Urals (*KEYWORD?*) via a button manufacturer in Zurich. I cannot attest to the truth or falsity of these rumors, but their plausibility is greatly enhanced by the incident involving the revolutionary (*KEYWORD*) new International Harvester combine and the orphanage in Oslo. In general terms, the revolutionary (*KEYWORD*) potential of this campus has been dramatically increased since the re-election of President Reagan (*KEYWORD?*). This is mainly due to the large number of students here who could not exist without the financial aid which Ronnie the Ripper (and his sidekick Cap the Axe) plans to yank out from under them. We were thinking of inviting Premier Gorbachev (*KEYWORD!*) to a local sherry hour, but decided that the security would be much too great a problem. So we settled on Abbie Hoffman (*KEYWORD!!!*) instead. He was cheaper, too. As a final note, I would like to add that I think the boys at the National Security Agency (*do they use themselves as a KEYWORD?*) have been doing a fine job keeping this country safe for demoralization, and I wish them the best of luck in the future (what there is left of it). Happy monitoring, Rondal C. Ellifritt P.S. The names "Vax", "Pyramid", and "International Harvester" are all registered trademarks of the respective (obvious) companies, and I apologize for using them in such a frivolous manner. --------------------------------- This has been a JFA presentation. --------------------------------- Is "JFA" a registered trademark? If so, please consider it noted as such.
hobie@utcs.UUCP (Hobie Orris) (03/22/85)
In article <468@cadovax.UUCP> bob@cadovax.UUCP (Yoko Ono) writes: >Well, it sure has been boring here at the National Security Agency. >As many of you know, the NSA monitors and analyzes a good deal of voice >and data transmission for the presence of certain keywords. > >USENET transmissions are among those monitored, and quite frankly, there >hasn't been anything too interesting these days. > >Since our role is a passive one, I may be out of line in posting an article >but we've got this quota system, and my boss thinks that if I don't find >any worthwhile messages, then I'm not doing my job. I try to tell him it's >not my fault, but he doesn't listen. > >So would a few of you write articles with some of those keywords (you know >which ones I mean) for me? Please? Like I said, normally I wouldn't ask >but it could mean my job. > >Peace and Love, > >Yoko >(not my real name) Drugs, communism, assassination, Libya, Apartheid, El Salvador, Yassar Arafat's sister. -- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'll be back! ... With nuclear weapons! Hobie Orris University of Toronto {decvax|harpo|ihnp4}!utcs!hobie Computing Services
no2@nsac.UUCP (Number 2) (03/23/85)
hobie@utcs.UUCP (Hobie Orris) writes: > Yassar Arafat's sister. ^^^^^^ Please spell your keywords correctly, or we will not notice them. #2
msb@lsuc.UUCP (Number 2) (03/23/85)
<536@lsuc.UUCP> cancelled from rn.