ajs@hpfcajs.UUCP (04/11/89)
Written by Alan Silverstein, Hewlett Packard, circa 1983: PLACE(1) Parody Systems PLACE(1) NAME place - print and set the system location SYNOPSIS place [ [-v] [-]ddmmss[-]dddmmss ] [ +format ] DESCRIPTION If no argument is given, or if the argument begins with ``+'', the current location (latitude and longitude) are printed. Otherwise, the current location is set by teleporting the system. The first dd is the degrees of latitude (negative for south); mm is the minutes of latitude; ss is the seconds of latitude. The second ddd is the degrees of longitude (negative for west); and so on. For example: place 385100-1050300 sets the location of the system to the top of Pikes Peak, Colorado. The correct altitude is automatically provided and cannot be specified. The system operates in feet. Place takes care of the conversion to and from local standard measurement units. When a new location is set, all logged-in terminals and users are transported along with all other system peripherals. If the -v (verbose) option is specified when a new location is set, place prints a running description of the locations the system passes through enroute to the given destination. Note that this can slow down transport time considerably, from instantaneous to however long it takes to print the description to standard output. This option is not recommended if stdout is a terminal connected at less than 4800 baud, since hitting BREAK can leave the system stranded. Attempting to set the place off-planet generates a warning, and requires an extra confirmation from the (super)user. If the argument begins with ``+'', the output of place is under the control of the user. The format for the output is similar to that of date(1). All output fields which use hours, minutes, or seconds are applicable (substitute "degrees" for hours, where appropriate). Place writes an accounting record on the file /usr/adm/wtmp. DIAGNOSTICS No permission If you aren't the super-user and you try to move the system. bad conversion If the place set is syntactically incorrect, or below sea level. bad format character If the field descriptor is not recognizable. FILES /dev/kmem /usr/adm/wtmp /usr/lib/altitudes AUTHOR Alan Silverstein, Hewlett-Packard SEE ALSO date(1), whereami(1) BUGS If there is not a supply of compatible electric power at the new location, the system usually crashes before place finishes writing accounting information to /usr/adm/wtmp. This command should not be used on systems connected to a Local Area Network, for obvious reasons. -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.