pmd@dptcdc.UUCP (Paul D'Eath) (04/28/89)
The following is a humorous story reported in the Manchester Guardian some time in the late 1970's. Ben McTaggart, a farmer in the Scottish Highlands, was apprehended by the local constabulary after a routine inspection of his croft revealed an illicit whisky still. McTaggart appeared in court next day to face charges of evading payment of excise duties and the illegal manufacture of alcoholic spirits. Reviewing the facts of the case before pronouncing verdict, the magistrate declared - "Mr McTaggart, you have been found in possession of apparatus commonly used in the distillation of alcoholic liquors. Although this equipment was unused, and no trace of spirits could be found on your premises, the intent of the apparatus should be clear to all, and I am obliged to find you guilty of all charges brought against you in this court. Before I pronounce sentence, do you have anything to say in mitigation of your offence?" McTaggart glowered at the magistrate and replied - "Your Honour, you can convict me of moonshining just because I have the equipment, but you'd better convict me of rape as well, because I have the equipment for that tae!" -- Paul M. D'Eath Datapoint Canada Inc. -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes.