swfc@read.cs.columbia.edu (Shu-Wie F Chen) (08/14/89)
New York Times, August 8, 1989, Letter to the Editor, by Ruth L. Kaplan: The other day I bought a roll of 25 cent postage stamps. I have not had a moment's peace since. For, upon unfurling this roll, I discovered that every one of the 100 stamps bears the unmistakable likeness of the American flag. To appreciate my consternation, consider what is in store for these stamps. First, I must lick the flag-- er, stamp. Then I will drop it into a dark box, wehre it may well be bruised, possibly even torn. Next, the stamp/flag will go to the Post Office, where an inexorable machine will stomp on it, defiling it with ugly lines in order to "cancel" it. "Cancel" our inviolable flag? But wait. The horrors mount. In time, the stamp will reach the addressee, who may rip it in eagerly opening the envelope. Ultimately, the flag stamp-- licked, cancelled, defaced, ripped-- will be consigned to the trash, doomed to decompose in a dump, linger in a landfill or-- shudder!-- be converted to charcoal and burned under a steak. What's a patriot to do? I wonder if the Post Office will allow me to return a rerolled roll of stamps. But even it it does, it'll just resell it, perhaps to some insensitive stamper who will lick, deface, cancel and rip those flags without a twinge of conscience. I pray (but not in school) for some official, even Presidential, guidance. Ruth L. Kaplan is a retired Federal (but not postal) employee. -- Shu-Wie F Chen swfc@cs.columbia.edu Columbia University -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. Remember: If you POST your joke instead of mailing it, I will not reply.