kilroy@mimsy.umd.edu (Darren F. Provine) (09/07/89)
[ The following joke was told by Nino Greasemanelli, on DC-101, WWDC-FM, Washington. ] Once I was out rock-climbing with my wife Estelle, her brother Tony, and Tony's friend Andy. I was at the lead, since I've got all these grotesquely overdeveloped muscles, and we were hanging off a cliff face, when I noticed some light dust escaping from under the only piton holding us up -- which meant that it was going to pull loose eventually. We'd discussed this possibility ahead of time, so I told everybody and we all dropped our backpacks to lighten the load. I only kept one small bag with pitons and a hammer in it. But there was still dust coming out from under the piton. I told everybody it looked bad, and Andy (who was at the bottom) called out: "Guys, this is pretty bad. If we can't lighten up any, then I'll cut myself off the bottom. Either way I'm dead, but maybe this way you three will make it." I told him that was nonsense, and not to think like that. But we soon ran out of things to drop, and so he pulled out his knife, said "tell my wife goodbye", and cut the rope. I gulped hard, and looked up at the piton. Dust was still coming out, and it was coming out faster. Tony saw it too, and said: "Nino, Estelle -- I love you both. I'll tell Andy you said thanks." And he took his knife and cut the rope. Estelle & I looked at the piton, and we could both see the rock was still overloaded -- there was still dust escaping. And as I cried for Andy & Tony, Estelle said "Nino, I'm not gonna pull you down with me." And I told her not worry, we'd make it -- but we both knew it was a lie. And I heard her pull out her knife and I said: "WAIT! Don't go yet! Can you climb up here?" "Okay. But why?" "I just want to look in your eyes one last time, and kiss you one last time -- and besides, you've got the car keys." -- kilroy@mimsy.umd.edu Darren F. Provine ...uunet!mimsy!kilroy -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. I reply to all submissions, but about 20% of the replies bounce.
kilroy@mimsy.umd.edu (Darren F. Provine) (09/08/89)
[ The following joke was told by Nino Greasemanelli, on DC-101, WWDC-FM, Washington. ] Once I was out rock-climbing with my wife Estelle, her brother Tony, and Tony's friend Andy. I was at the lead, since I've got all these grotesquely overdeveloped muscles, and we were hanging off a cliff face, when I noticed some light dust escaping from under the only piton holding us up -- which meant that it was going to pull loose eventually. We'd discussed this possibility ahead of time, so I told everybody and we all dropped our backpacks to lighten the load. I only kept one small bag with pitons and a hammer in it. But there was still dust coming out from under the piton. I told everybody it looked bad, and Andy (who was at the bottom) called out: "Guys, this is pretty bad. If we can't lighten up any, then I'll cut myself off the bottom. Either way I'm dead, but maybe this way you three will make it." I told him that was nonsense, and not to think like that. But we soon ran out of things to drop, and so he pulled out his knife, said "tell my wife goodbye", and cut the rope. I gulped hard, and looked up at the piton. Dust was still coming out, and it was coming out faster. Tony saw it too, and said: "Nino, Estelle -- I love you both. I'll tell Andy you said thanks." And he took his knife and cut the rope. Estelle & I looked at the piton, and we could both see the rock was still overloaded -- there was still dust escaping. And as I cried for Andy & Tony, Estelle said "Nino, I'm not gonna pull you down with me." And I told her not worry, we'd make it -- but we both knew it was a lie. And I heard her pull out her knife and I said: "WAIT! Don't go yet! Can you climb up here?" "Okay. But why?" "I just want to look in your eyes one last time, and kiss you one last time -- and besides, you've got the car keys." -- kilroy@mimsy.umd.edu Darren F. Provine ...uunet!mimsy!kilroy -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@looking.ON.CA