miller@cpsvax.cps.msu.edu (Joseph M Miller) (12/24/89)
The current record breaking cold snap and invasion of Panama have started a new series of Volunteer Army Ads: Scene 1: Shot of Anytown USA city streets enveloped in a Blizzard of snow with hooded figures slipping and slipping between crawling traffic. Narrator: "Why put up with this ?" Scene 2: Shot of Central Panama airport with t-shirt and bathing suit clad Panamanian people welcoming an incoming army air-transport full of troops (troops are being given Hawaiian leis etc.) Narrator: "Sign up now and you can spend Christmas in Panama. This beautiful canal zone has 80 degree temperatures, friendly people, and great scenes." Woman's soft Voice: "We'll fly you down in a luxurious wide body jet. Upon landing you'll be given food for two weeks, a flak jacket, mosquito repellent, sun-screen and five grenades." Woman's dreamy Voice: "Yes - you may even win the 1 Million dollar grand prize - just find Noriega and turn him in. Not only will you receive the $1,000,000 bounty, you'll be able to sell the T.V., movie and book rights to your story as well as collect $25,000 speaker fees." Narrator: "Sign up now! This may be a limited time offer. Certain restrictions and risks apply." -- Joe Miller Michigan State University -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.