mark@drd.com (Mark Lawrence) (01/17/90)
Spokesmen for a local electronic firm have announced a computer
program that through fresh application of an old technique -
virtually eliminates lost time due to malfunction of computer
components. Called OREMA (from latin "oremus", meaning "let us
pray"), the program offers prayers at selected time intervals for
the continued integrity of memory units, tape transports, and other
elements subject to depravity.
Basically liturgical in structure, OREMA uses standard petitions and
intercessions stored on magnetic tapes in Latin, Hebrew, and
FORTRAN. It holds regular maintenance services thrice daily on an
automatic cycle, and operator intervention is required only for
mounting tapes and making responses, such as "Amen", or "And With
Thy Spirit", on the console typewriter.
Prayers in Hebrew and FORTRAN are offered directly to the CPU, but
Latin prayers may go to peripheral equipment for transfer to the CPU
by internal subroutines.
Although manufacturer supplied prayer reels cover all machine troubles
known today, the program will add punch card prayers to any tape, as
needed, after the final existing AMEN block. Classified prayer
reels are available for government installations.
In trials on selected machines, OREMA reduced by 98.2 percent the
average down time due to component failure. The manufacturer's
spokesman emphasized, however, that OREMA presently defends only
against malfunction of hardware. Requestor errors and other human
blunders will continue unchecked until completion of a later
version to be called SIN-OREMA.
Reprinted from Data Link, March 1966, which reprinted from the
source, W.S. Minkler, Jr., the Pittsburgh section of the
American Nuclear Society, Jan. 1965.
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA
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