[rec.humor.funny] May I be excused?

strauss@aerospace.aero.org (03/22/90)

				M E M O R A N D U M

From: Personnel Department				Date: January 1, 1990

To: ALL PERSONNEL				Subject: Restroom Trip
Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom
under informal guidelines.  Effective February 1, 1990, a RESTROOM TRIP
POLICY (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of
accounting for each employees restroom time and ensuring equal treatment
of all employees.

Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each
employee.  The first day of each month, employees will be given a
Restroom Trip Credit of 20.  Restroom Trip Credits can be accumulated
from month to month, to a maximum of 100 credits at which point no
further credits can be accumulated.

Currently, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with
personnel identification stations and computer-linked voice print
recognition.  During the next two weeks, each employee must provide two
copies of their voice print (one normal, one under stress) to Personnel.
The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not
restrictive, for the month of January; employees should acquaint
themselves with the stations during that period.  If an employee's
Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to all restrooms will
remain locked for that employee's voice until the first of the next
month.

In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper
roll retractors.  If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes,
an alarm sounds, the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet
will flush, and the stall door will open.

If you have any questions about the new policy, please ask your
supervisor.



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