spexet@ux.acs.umn.edu (05/25/90)
This is a funny little story by Alex Kuno, that would make a great replace- ment for the York Peppermint Patty commercial... ============================================================================ (repeat this in a Brooklyn accent) When I bite into a York Peppermint Pattie, I get the sensation of a large, rabid gerbil lunging down my throat, scratching and excavating nu- merous amounts of my tongue and esophagus as it slowly awaits its abomina- tion as soon as its flesh meets the gastric juices of my stomach. Sensing pain, I notice in brief horror to see its partially dissolved torso protruding from my navel, as my lethal gastric fluids spray in a violent array of a sickening spectrum upon my peers. Heh, heh. When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of a gargantuan, 70 ton weight landing with a sickening thud upon my midsec- tion, spattering my irreparably damaged organs upon my face and coating the hairs on my legs as I writhe and convulse in the circular, red, glistening ooze I wade in. I cough in pain and realize later that I've regurgitated my res- piratory system as it slides down the sides of my blood-caked, dead, ex- pressionless face. ============================================================================ Get the sensation... -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes posted instead of mailed often don't have a valid reply address.