tony4@stretch.cs.mun.ca (Anthony H. Galway) (06/28/90)
Found in a local newsletter. THE DEER HUNT ============= 1:00 am Alarm clock rings 2:00 am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2:30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up 3:00 am Leave for the deep woods 3:15 am Back home to pick up gun 3:30 am Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent 4:00 am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 4:30 am Set up camp 6:05 am Head for the woods 6:06 am See eight deers 6:07 am Take aim and squeeze the trigger 6:08 am CLICK 8:00 am Load gun while watching deers go over the hill 9:00 am Head back to camp 12:00 NOON Fire gun for help -- eat wild berries 12:15 pm Run out of bullets -- eight deers come back 12:20 pm Strange feeling in stomach 12:30 pm Realize you ate poison berrries 12:45 pm Rescued 12:55 pm Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped 3:00 pm Arrive back at camp 3:30 pm Leave camp to kill deer 4:00 pm Return to camp for bullets 4:01 pm Load gun -- Leave camp again 5:00 pm Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you 6:00 pm Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing in camp 6:01 pm Load gun 6:02 pm Fire gun 6:03 pm One dead pick-up 6:05 pm Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer 6:06 pm Repress desire to shoot hunting partner 6:07 pm Fall into fire 6:10 pm Change cloths -- throw burned ones onto fire 6:15 pm Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp 6:25 pm Pick-up boils over -- hole shot in block 6:26 pm Start walking 6:30 pm Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud 6:35 pm Meet bear 6:36 pm Take aim 6:37 pm Fire gun, blow up barrel -- plugged with mud 6:38 pm Mess pants 6:39 pm Climb tree 9:00 pm Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree Midnight Home at last -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@looking.on.ca Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@looking.on.ca