joe@cs.ucla.edu (Jose Miro-Julia) (07/07/90)
I heard this joke from the Spaniard humorist Eugenio: A man goes to the doctor and says: - Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do? - I think that is a wose decision. Let's see, do you smoke? - Oh.. half a pack a day. - Starting NOW no more smoking. The man agrees. The doctor then asks: - Do you drink? - Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while - Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions. The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor continues: - How do you eat? - Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff. - Starting now you are going on a very strict diet: you are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese. The man is now really worried. - Doc, is all this really necessary? - Do you want to live long? - Yes. - Absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet, The man is quite restless, but hte doctor continues: - Do you have sex? - Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife! he adds hurriedly. - As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None. The man is appalled. - Doc... are you sure I'm going to live longer this way? - I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity. -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes posted instead of mailed often don't have a valid reply address.