[rec.humor.funny] Caught between Iraq and a Hard Place

funny-request@looking.on.ca (08/10/90)

{ed A Digest of jokes about the recent invasion}
=========================
From: M.PEARCE2@genie.com
Subject: Between Iraq and a hard place          

I heard this from a Co Worker...

What did S. Hussein say to President Bush?

"Read my lips, we're moving out of Kuwait."

========================================

Upon reading about Iraq's statement that they will be
withdrawing from Kuwait, my SO comment was:

   "Kuwaitus Interruptus"

=========================
Subject: A consequence of the invasion
From: greg@garnet.berkeley.edu (Greg Kuperberg)

I noticed that the price of American cheese went up 25% after Iraq
invaded Kuwait.
----
Greg Kuperberg

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Subject: Read My Lips for the real reason
From: dodson@uxc.cso.uiuc.edu (Dave Dodson)

According to a UPI article, in his speech about sending troops to Saudi
Arabia,

        President Bush said he ordered U.S. troops to the Mideast as a
    defensive measure, to uphold American principles.
        ``Standing up for a principle is an American tradition,'' Bush
    said. ``America has never waivered when her purpose is driven by
    principle.''

Those who read his lips think he might have used the word 'principal'
(money) instead of 'principle' (a doctrine or rule or code of conduct).

Dave Dodson, Convex Computer Corporation

====================================

From: JRP1@phoenix.cambridge.ac.uk (Jonathan R. Partington)
Subject: topical; satirical; iraq

Mr Uk: Hello, Usa old chap.
Mr Usa: Hello, Uk.
Miss Kuwait: Help! Rape! Aaagh.
Usa: Do you see what's happening over there?
Uk: Isn't that Miss Kuwait being raped by somebody?
Usa: Yes, that's Mr Iraq, I think. Nasty chap.
Uk: Shall we make faces at him?
Usa: Oh that's a bit extreme, isn't it. Tell you what, let's
 threaten to make faces at him if he doesn't stop.
Kuwait: HELP HELP! Aaagh.
Iraq (breathing heavily): It's all right, folks, I'll have finished
 by Sunday.
Uk: Fine. Well we know you're a gentleman. We won't interfere.
Usa: Of course not. I'm sure you have a good reason for raping Miss K.
Iraq: Oh, Uk, old chap. I've kidnapped your children and locked them
 in my house.
Uk: Fine, fine. Well I'm sure you had a good reason for it.
Usa: Well see you on Sunday then.

==================================

From: schumach@uxc.cso.uiuc.edu (Richard A. Schumacher)
Subject: Where Kuwaiti kids spend Saturday nights

At the Iraqi Horror Picture Show!
--
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