SJM@bnr.ca (S.J.MacMartin) (09/30/90)
TV problems My husband and I both work for Bell Northern Research, Ottawa. We have an online bulletin board here, for items for sale, general events announcements, jokes, as well as discussion on topical items. I composed and posted the first item on this forum, without telling him about it. After reading my entry, he posted the followup article (without telling me!): ====================================================================== --> DMacMart Do you have this problem? Do you have trouble watching just one TV show at one time? Do you find that you have trouble hearing the television because people are complaining about the fact you are constantly switching channels? Is your wife/husband threatening to leave you, so that she/he can view an entire show from start to finish? Do you panic if the remote control is misplaced? Is your sofa torn and tattered from your frenzied attemps to locate a remote control which has slipped between the cushions? Is your arm bruised from repeated fights to maintain possession of the remote control? Do you know, at any given time, what is on EVERY channel, without ever consulting the television listings? Do you think TV Guides are for sissies? Have you never actually watched an entire commercial from start to finish? If you answered "YES" to three or more of these questions, you may be a chronic CHANNEL FLIPPER. If Channel Flipping is affecting your life, consult the Yellow Pages for the CHANNEL FLIPPERS ANNONYMOUS (CFA) nearest you! Meetings every month. --> SMacMart Do you have this problem? Do you insist on watching one TV show at a time, no matter how boring it is? Do you find that you have trouble hearing other people because the TV is always on? Do you panic if the TV guide is missing? Is your sofa torn and tattered from your frenzied attempts to locate a TV guide that has slipped between the cushions? Do you know, at any given time, what is on EVERY channel, without ever turning on the TV? Do you ever miss interesting shows because you were using last week's TV guide, or because the TV guide was in error? Is your wife/husband threatening to leave you because you forgot about part 2 of a show (or worse yet, a new episode of ST:TNG)? Are you afraid of remote controls? Have you actually watched an entire commercial from start to finish (excluding beer commercials and Beeman's ads)? If you answered "YES" to three or more of these questions, you may be a chronic TV GUIDE JUNKIE. If the TV guide is affecting your life, consult the Yellow Pages for the TV GUIDE ANONYMOUS (TVGA) nearest you! -- (c) 1990 Diane MacMartin and Stuart MacMartin -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
rodney@math.ucla.edu (Rodney Sinclair) (10/10/90)
--> NotMacMart Do you have this problem? Do you refuse to watch anything on TV no matter how educational it is? Do you find that you have trouble listening to other people talk about what they watched on TV last night? Do you panic if the theater guide is missing? Is your sofa torn and tattered from your frenzied attempts to find the loose change that fell out of your pocket while you were reading? Do you know, at any given time, what is going on everywhere in the world without watching the evening news? Do you ever miss interesting revival shows because you were using last week's theater listing or because the listing was in error? Is your spouse threatening to leave you because you forgot to buy the new book they told you about over dinner last night? Are you afraid of remote controls? Have you been confused when you see a commercial and wondered why anyone would willingly watch that drivel? If you answered "YES" to three or more of these questions, you may be an INTELLECTUAL SNOB. If intellectual snobberey is affecting your life, then consult your local yellow pages for theater listings and go watch an Arnie movie. -- (c) 1990 Rodney Sinclair (Not Mac Martin) -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings?