funnyr@looking.on.ca (Funny Guy) (11/27/90)
The TeleJokeBook Rec.humor.funny Computer Network Humour Annual USA & International Ordering Instructions Volume I: Contains 1987 and 1988, over 700 jokes + 14 cartoons. Light Bulb jokes, Purity Test & More Volume II: Contains 1989, over 500 jokes + description of attempts to ban newsgroup Volume III: Contains 1990, over 500 jokes + new "True News" chapter. All books contain 2 chapters of general jokes, plus chapters of Computer & Science jokes, topical humour, USENET jokes, Classic jokes and Nasty, evil jokes. How to order the TeleJokeBooks from inside the USA and overseas: You can use the mail, or order using my toll free 800 number with a major credit card. I can send the book to you either by surface mail (about 2 weeks) or air mail (just over 1 week) as you choose. If you order by mail, mail a check or money order to: (Make check payable to ClariNet Communications Corp.) Jokebook c/o ClariNet Communications Corp 124 King St. N. Waterloo, ON N2J 2X8 Canada Please include a mailing label for the return package. A stick on label would be great, but a plain cut piece of paper would be fine. In your order, include the number of copies you want, how you want them shipped, and your EMAIL address in case there's any problem. Toll Free Ordering You can dial 1-800-USE-NETS (800-873-6387) from within the USA to order. (Outside, dial 1-519-884-7473) This 800 number does not exist just for the jokebook, so please try to keep it short so I can keep my costs down. When you call, between 10 AM and 5 PM Eastern Standard Time, please have ready with you: - The type, card number and expiry date of your credit card. (MasterCard, Visa or American Express) Also give your name here if it's being mailed to a different person. We prefer MasterCard if you have a choice. - The name and address to ship the book to. - The number of books and type of shipping. - Your EMAIL address in case there's any problem. P R I C E S Volume III Volume II Volume I ALL 1990 1989 1987 & 1988 THREE $9.95 USD $9.95 USD $13 USD $29.95 USD $11.60 CDN $11.60 CDN $15 CDN $34.95 CDN Special: 2 or more Volume III, deduct $1 per book! Shipping & Handling: (in USD to the USA -- Canadians see Canadian posting) Volume II,III Volume I Air Mail (to the USA only) 1 $3 $4 2 $6 $7 3 $8 $9 4 $9 $10 All Three $8 Surface Mail (USA or overseas) 1 $2 $2 2 $4 $4 3 $4 $5 4-5 $5 $5 6 $5 $7 All Three $5 Air Mail (overseas) 1 $7 $7 5 $22 6 $22 All Three $15 For combinations of the books or unusual quantities we will bill you an amount based on the actual postage and similar algorithm to that used above. Or e-mail for an exact quote. *** Here's the tricky part. If you order by credit card, you will be billed in Canadian dollars. Your bank will do an exchange for you and bill you in U.S. dollars. The current rate in the paper is around $0.86 USD = $1 CAN. We will convert the shipping charges above at the going rate and add it to your credit card Canadian dollar total. You can also order by E-MAIL if you are brave enough to include your credit card information in non-secure USENET mail. Mail the order form below to jokebook@looking.on.ca. (Actually, if you're near UUNET or other major sites it's probably fairly safe -- you can contest any non-signed credit card billing anyway -- but I make *no* guarantees about the security of net E-mail) Note as well that sending orders via the internet may violate internet use guidelines in some sections of that net. If no other way is available to you, you can FAX credit card information, your name, address, quantity of books and shipping method to 1-519-886-9495. Put "Attn: Jokebook" on the FAX. Sorry, we can't C.O.D. over the border. Australians: A bulk order is being arranged. Watch for news! ====================================================================== Order Form (for electronic, fax or mailed credit card orders) Mail to "jokebook@looking.on.ca" via commerce-valid E-mail path. Name: ________________ Address: ________________ ________________ ______ Name on Credit Card ( if gift ): ____________ Card Type: XxxxxxXxxx Card Number: xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx Expires: xxxx Vol I Books: 0 ## US$ 13.00 CDN$ 15.00 Vol II Books: 0 ## US$ 9.95 CDN$ 11.60 Vol III Books: 1 ## US$ 9.95 CDN$ 11.60 Shipping Style: Surface/Air EMAIL Address or telno: _____