[rec.humor.funny] Answering Machine Messages

R.DASHMAN@genie.com (02/01/91)

I put this message on my machine during the baseball season.  In the
background is the sound effect of a cheering crowd at a baseball game.

"We're back at Wrigley Field for this, the final game of the 1990 baseball
season.  the Cubs and Mets are tied for first, whoever wins this game takes
home the National League Eastern Division championship. We're in the 9th
inning, Cubs trailing 2-1, but they have Shawon Dunston on third with two
outs.  Coming up to bat now, here is BOB! (crowd cheers in background)  This
has been a solid season for Bob, 26 home runs, 87 runs batted in.  A base hit
now will tie it for the Cubs, while a home  run will give them the
championship..

Bob digs in against Dwight Gooden.  Gooden has been masterful today,  striking
out 16, while only allowing 3 base hits.  Here comes the  pitch . . .   AND
THERE'S A LONG DRIVE DEEP TO RIGHT!  THAT COULD BE  OUT OF HERE!  DARRYL
STRAWBERRY RACES OVER AND MAKES A LEAPING CATCH AT THE WALL AND BOB IS OUT!!!!
Yes, Bob is out, but he'll be happy to return your call as soon as possible." 
(BEEP)

Since I once worked in radio as a newscaster and DJ, I was able to do this so
that it sounded like an actual radio broadcast.  The response to this 
message, which ran a full 60 seconds, was interesting.  Men loved it, and
passed my phone number around so that their buddies could call in and hear it.
Women, in general, didn't understand it, and left messages complaining that it
was too long, too loud, or didn't make any sense.

Bob
--
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