shipley@remarque.berkeley.edu (02/18/91)
Author: Peter Shipley
Pros and Cons of dating a vampire
Pro Con
Long relationships Spend your time in a hypnotic daze
Allowed to stay out late Parents can be hell
Easy weight loss You always feel tired (loss of blood)
Centuries of experience Oral sex can be lethal
Immune to all venereal diseases Always has cold feet (and blood)
Always has amazing stamina Never able to spend the day in bed
Loves neck nibbling Pet names that give you chills
Rarely interested in arguing religion Strange friends
Never comes home with garlic breath Giggles at funerals
Don't have to worry about what color Hard to win a argument
clothes to wear. No romantic sunsets
May forget own strength during orgasm
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