ray@biovision.toronto.edu (Ray Deonandan) (02/24/91)
THE FOLLOWING JOKE I HEARD A VERY LONG TIME AGO. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO TOLD IT FIRST, BUT OVER THE YEARS I'VE EMBELLISHED IT CONSIDERABLY. There were three pious monks. These monks were so pious, in fact, that the head abbott decided one day to reward their devotion by granting them each one day of sin, on the condition that they confess their activities to him at the end of the day. So, the day cometh, and the three monks go off into the night to indulge in all manner of sin. The first monk saunters in at 1:00 in the morning, and tries to sneak upstairs to bed. But the head abbott, who was waiting up for the three, stopped him and demanded that he relate his doings. "No, head abbott," the first monk said, "it's too evil for me to admit!" "The deal was for you to tell me everything you did, otherwise you will not receive absolution!" said the abbott. So the first monk agreed to tell what he did. "I - I - I drank! And I did all manner of drugs! And I smoked tea bags and old polyester ties, and I snorted coffee whitener...." "Enough!" said the head abbott, enraged. "Those are evil sins, but I promised to forgive you. Go out back, drink some Holy Water, say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning." The first monk thankfully went off to follow the abbott's instructions. The second monk wanders in at 2:00 AM. "What did you do last night?" demanded the head abbott. "I can't say! I't much too evil!" "The agreement was that you must tell me everything you did!" "Okay," agreed the second monk. "I had all manner of sex. I had sex with young girls, young boys, small furry quadrupeds, large species of flora, my CD player..." "Enough!" cried the head abbott. "That is a truly great sin. But I promised to give you absolution. Go out back and drink some Holy Water. Then say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning." The second monk sauntered off to do just that. And the third and final monk crawls in at 3:00 in the morning. "What," asks the head abbott, "did you do this evening?" "No, head abbott, it's too great a sin to admit. I cannot tell!" "The agreement, monk! You must tell me!" The third monk bowed his head and nodded. "All right, head abbott. Last night I...I..." "Yes?" "I pissed in the Holy Water." Ray Deonandan RAY@BIOVISION.TORONTO.EDU -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings?