[rec.humor.funny] VI manual pages

alopeziz@maytag.waterloo.edu (Alex Lopez-Ortiz) (02/27/91)

A few days ago, we were trying to explain to a MS-DOS user
how the VI editor works. Here's what we come up with:


Vi is an editor with two distinguished modes:


In _Edit mode_ you have all the capabilities of grandma's
typewriter right under your finger tips! You can make the
very same mistakes as you did with grany's typewriter
(and your possibilities to correct them are about the same).

That's why Vi was provided with a second mode, namely the
_Beep_ mode. On a vt100 terminal or compatible you can
get into Beep mode by pressing an arrow or escape function
key. In this powerful Beep mode even the more inocuos 
keystroke will promptly produce a Beep sound. As an example,
arrows, return, blankspaces and most capital letters will
produce beeps in the most arbitrary places of the screen.
Just think about the whole world of possibilities that 
this mode gives to you: 

-Compose a monotonic symphony or rap while editing your
thesis!

-Send messages in morse code to the secreatry next door! 

-Keep yourself awake with the clear sound of the Beep tone!

The possibilities are up to you!
--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA

Please!  No copyrighted stuff.  Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.