ms0p+@andrew.cmu.edu (Michael Gordon Shapiro) (04/02/91)
(Left on the blackboard by students in a Real-Time Systems course) How to program in "C" --------------------- 1] Use lots of global variables. 2] Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace. 3] Put everything in one large .h file. 4] Implement the entire project at once. 5] Use macros and #defines to emulate Pascal. 6] Assume the compiler takes care of all the little details you didn't quite understand. "It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?" How to debug a "C" program. --------------------------- 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it. 2] Change majors. 3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and excecute. 4] Throw holy water on the terminal. 5] Dial 911 and scream. 6] There is rumour that "printf" is useful, but this is probably unfounded. 7] Port everything to CP/M. 8] If it still doesn't work, re-write it in assembler. This won't fix the bug, but it will make sure no one else finds it and makes you look bad. -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@looking.on.ca instead.