Omar Stanford (04/22/91)
Relayed-by: C559520@umcvmb.UUCP NEW PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT: 'C' Language Regression Package Antiquity Spoffware Solutions Announces C-- Void Oriented Programming Antiquity Spoffware Solutions is proud to announce its latest fully integrated software package for C programmers. C Programmers for years now have been frustrated with a myriad of functions designed for almost sickening efficiency and control. Any programmer knows that a language so flexible has its drawbacks: Universality. C-- combines all the power of BASIC, the readability of COBOL, and the wealth of string and graphics functions associated with FORTRAN. C-- does away with floats and doubles, chars and ints and manipulates data entirely in LONG integer form (for portability.) Here are some examples: /* This program generates an integer-oriented #include <cmm.h> #LOADREGULARCLIBRARYFUNCTION (STDIO.H) MAIN *OPENCURLYBRACKETPOINTINGLEFT PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT ( "DEMONSTRATION OF C-- FUNCTIONS" ) SEMICOL LET THENUMBER A EQUAL 10 SEMICOLON LET THENUMBER B EQUAL 20 SEMICOLON IF A .LT. B THEN DO SINGLEFUNCTION PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT( NUMBER, STRING, A, "IS SMALLEST" ) SEMICOLON OTHERWISE IF B .LT. B THEN DO SINGLEFUNCTION PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT( NUMBER, STRING, B "IS SMALLEST" ) SEMICOLON OTHERWISE DO NOTHING SEMICOLON *CLOSECURLYBRACKETPOINTINGRIGHT The above source, as you may have noticed, is not just a demonstration of the ASS software team's life-long persistance in the generation of efficient, compact, (and most of all) READABLE software. The tried and true principles behind line-buffered input are sure to delight the seasoned programmer. C-- is sure to invoke images of keypunches and card readers and leave you happily chugging away at keyboard. -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@looking.on.ca (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.) Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@looking.on.ca