[rec.humor.funny] Layer Cake 1040

J.LEVINSON3@genie.com (Jody) (05/06/91)

CHOCOLATE LAYER CAKE 1040

Line 1.  Butter, a mimimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
pound. (See line 4.)
 Line 2.   Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
 had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
 dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
 Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
 Line 3.   Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
 Line 4.   Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
 the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
 Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
 tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
 For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
 butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
 final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
 see Form 551.
 Line 5a.  Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
 government employee, you may be eligible for an excess flour tax
 credit. Measure 2 cups, sifting is optional.
 Line 5b.  Flour, whole wheat, 1 2/3 cups.
 Line 5c.  Alternative mixture: 1 cup white flour plus 3/4 cup whole
 wheat flour.
 Line 6.   Vanilla, 1 teaspoon. See Schedule ZE for reporting use
 of imitation vanilla flavoring. You may be able to deduct the cost
 of real vanilla extract in 1991 if you itemize deductions.
 Line 7.   Salt, 1/3 teaspoon (optional). If you are a head of
 household with dependents and were born during a leap year, you
 must add salt.
 Line 8.   Baking powder, 1 1/2 teaspoons. Use of baking soda will
 result in a penalty. See form W-Q.Line 8a.  Walnuts, 8 oz., chopped. You may
be eligible to use pecans or almonds. See Part III of Schedule PE, Itemized
Substitutions.
 Line 9.   Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (375 if altitude exceeds
 5,500 feet). Be sure that you have turned the oven on before you
 begin assembling ingredients. In a bowl (2 quart capacity), cream
 butter and sugar for 3 minutes, or until well blended, whichever
 occurs first. (Note: If you are using the Nonfarm Cocoa Method [see
 Line 4], add additional butter and sugar at this point.)
 Line 10.  Incorporate eggs, one egg at a time, into creamed
 mixture. If the eggs are from a farm of which you are the sole
 owner, you may be eligible for a Fowl Credit. See Form 9871m "For
 the Birds."
 Line 11.  Add vanilla.
 Line 12.  In a double boiler, melt chocolate at low heat. If you
 are using the Nonfarm Cocoa Method, disregard the preceding
 instruction and stir cocoa into the creamed mixture. Then stir in
 flour from Line 5a, 5b, or 5c, add salt (optional, but see Line 7
 for exception) and baking powder.
 Line 13.  Add nuts, which should be chopped, regardless of type
 (See Line 8a).
 Line 14.  Pour batter into 2 (two) greased and floured 8 inch
 round cake pans or 1 (one) greased and floured 9x13 inch pan, which you
should have prepared earlier. Bake in preheated oven (see line
 9) for 40 to 50 minutes, whichever is greater. After removing cake
 pan(s) from oven, cool for 10 minutes (12 for 9x13 pan) and turn
 cake(s) out onto wire rack.
 When cake is completely cool, frost it. (To determine time needed
 for cooling, complete Worksheet on pg. 25.) See Form 873 for
 details on appropriate frostings.
 Note: If you weigh 20 percent more (or higher) than your ideal
 weight (see chart on pg. 19), ignore this recipe and complete
 Schedule F, "Fresh Fruit Desserts."

Happy Taxes!

Jody
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