[rec.humor.funny] Final Words

GARY@rdac.dnet.hac.com (05/13/91)

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Poem Title:  Final Words
Author:      Unknown
Origin:      First in print 1963, U of Illinois.  Appeared later in the
             Daily Tar Heel (U of N. Carolina), then in the Daily Beacon
             (U of Tennessee), then in the Daily Spartan (Michigan State)
             and finally in the Blue Moon (UCLA Magazine, June 1985).
Comments:    I'm sure that all of you can appreciate this!  /gary loo/

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FINAL WORDS

And it came to pass,
Early in the morning toward the last day of the semester (quarter),
There arose a great multitude smiting the books and wailing.
And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth
For the Day of Judgement was at hand
And they were sore afraid, for they had left undone
Those things which they ought to have done,
And they had done
Those things which they ought not to have done
And there was no help for it.
And there were many abiding in the dorm
Who had kept watch over their books by night.
But it availed them not.
But some there were who rose peacefully,
For they had prepared themselves the way
And made straight paths of knowledge
And these were known
As Wise Burners of the Midnight Oil
And to others they were known as "Curve-raisers".
And the multitude arose
And ate a hearty breakfast.
And they came unto the appointed place
And their hearts were heavy within them.
And they had come to pass,
But some to pass out.
And some of them
Repented at their riotous living and bemoaned their fate,
But they had not a prayer.
And at the last hour there came among them
One known as The Instructor; and they feared him exceedingly.
He was of the diabolical smile,
And passed papers among them and went his way.
And many and varied
Were the answers that were given.
For some of his teachings had fallen among fertile minds.
While others had fallen flat.
And some they were who wrote for one hour,
Others for two;
But some were turned away sorrowfully, and many of these
Offered up a little bull
In hopes of pacifying The Instructor.
And these were the ones who had not a prayer.
And when they finished,
They gathered their belongings
And went their way quietly, each in his own direction,
And each vowing unto himself in this manner,
"I shall not pass this way again."
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From the UCLA Blue Moon, June 1985
Transcribed by Gary Loo, whom did not have a prayer either!
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Edited by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA

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