[rec.humor.funny] Personality Test

lab@fibercom.com (Lance Beckner) (06/15/91)

This is original.

Our Engineering group is planning on participating in a "team building"
exercise.  As a prelude, each of us had to take the famous Myers-Briggs
test to evaluate personalities, leadership attributes, etc.

After taking my test, I came up with one of my own:


                              Personality Test

                                     By

                                Bryer's-Migs
      (The people who bring you natural ice cream and Soviet warplanes)

Answer each question as best as you possibly can.  Remember, there
are no RIGHT or WRONG answers.  Answer each question honestly and
we'll see just how messed up you really are.

1.      Would you rather have a boss that:

        a.     sweats profusely
        b.     foams at the mouth

2.      In a party are you more likely to:

        a.     get drunk and pass out
        b.     act like a bump on a log

3.      On the whole do you think that:

        a.     Men are smarter than women
        b.     Men and women are equally smart
        c.     Women just think they are smarter than men

4.      You have just eaten a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant when
        you realize that you left your wallet at home.  Do you:

        a.     Yell, "Fire, Fire, Fire" and disappear in the crowd of
               panicky strangers headed for the door
        b.     Vomit violently and demand that your meal be free
        c.     Tell your date you have to make a call, and sneak out
               leaving her with the bill.

5.      Would you rather die:

        a.     By having your body explode in the vacuum of space
        b.     Drowning in the frigid waters of the northern Atlantic
        c.     By being burned at the stake

6.      In an emergency situation, are you more likely to 

        a.     wet your pants
        b.     stutter uncontrollably

7.      When dealing with a group of people, would you rather

        a.     have a say in what the group will do
        b.     follow the group like a mindless drone

8.      When the Gulf War is over, would you like to see the Capital
        of Iraq

        a.     Still be named Baghdad
        b.     renamed BOMBay
        c.     renamed BANGladesh
        d.     renamed U.S. Military Munitions Test Range

9.      Do you think the red thing on Gorbachev's forehead is

        a.     A birth mark
        b.     The result of a motorcycle accident
        c.     The mark of the Beast

10.     Would you rather 

        A.     be the star of your own TV show
        B.     placed on death row


For the questions below, choose the word that appeals to you the
most.  Concentrate on the word MEANINGS, and not how the words
would be pronounced by eastern European immigrants. 

11.     a. peanut             b. butter
12.     a. smart              b. bomb
13.     a. book               b. worm
14.     a. pizza              b. face
15.     a. bone               b. head
16.     a. rain               b. man
17.     a. feeding            b. frenzy
18.     a. boss               b. hog
19.     a. snow               b. white
20.     a. token              b. ring


21.     Which of the following would you be more inclined to do

        a.     invade a small neighboring country
        b.     invade a small neighboring country only if it had a great
               deal of oil reserves.
        c.     come to the rescue of country recently invaded
        d.     come to the rescue of country recently invaded only if
               it had a great deal of oil reserves.

22.     Which of the following would you be least pleased with

        a.     Dan Quayle elected president of the United States
        b.     Saddam Hussein remaining president of a post-war Iraq
        c.     Dan Quayle elected president of a post-war Iraq

23.     Do you prefer

        a.     Walking in the rain
        b.     driving in the snow
        c.     spitting in the wind

24.     Would you rather 

        a.     be killed by a herd of stampeding African Elephants
        b.     be strangled to death by a Python
        c.     be eaten alive by a school of Piranha
        d.     listen to Rosanne Barr sing the National Anthem for 8
               hours

25.     Who would you rather have as parents

        a.     Bill Cosby and Tina Turner
        b.     Hulk Hogan and Shelly Winters
        c.     Boy George and Michael Jackson
        d.     Willie Nelson and Connie Chung 

Lance Beckner  
--
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