evan@telly.on.ca (Evan Leibovitch) (12/08/89)
AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL
Dedicated to Dave Mason, Chris Siebenmann, and anyone who's left
their computers alone just long enough for them to self-destruct:
(Sung to the tune of something or other...)
On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
A burnt-out V.D.T.
On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Twelve boards a-blowing;
Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND WATCH OUT FOR THOSE MOBILE R.I.D.E. CHECKS!
(Unix is a trademark of AT&T. If you didn't know that by now, shame, shame..)
--
Evan Leibovitch, Sound Software, located in beautiful Brampton, Ontario
evan@telly.on.ca / uunet!attcan!telly!evan / (416)452-0504
"If women designed condoms they would be not ribbed, but padded"erlebach@cs.toronto.edu (Beverly Erlebacher) (12/10/89)
In article <8912072350.AA15717@telly.on.ca> Evan Leibovitch <evan@telly.on.ca> writes: >AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL Bandwidth, Evan, bandwidth!! Why post the whole song when you can run it through nice Unix filters like sed and lyrics2C and get more maintainable and portable (as well as more compact) output like the following? You can then easily convert it to any human language and effortlessly adapt it to religious holidays of any length desired. p.s. i nominate evan@telly and bdb@becker for Best Canadian .sigs of 1989 ---- 8< ----- cut here ----- valuable free source ----- cut here ----- 8< ---- #include <stdio.h> #define DEFAULT_HOLIDAY "CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH" #define DAYS_OF_NEGLECT 12 char heading[] = "AN ELECTRONIC %s CARD TO ALL\n\n\ Dedicated to Dave Mason, Chris Siebenmann, and anyone who's left\n\ their computers alone just long enough for them to self-destruct:\n\n\ (Sung to the tune of something or other...)\n\n"; char * cardinal[] = {"And a", "Two", "Three", "Four", "Five", "Six", "Seven", "Eight", "Nine", "Ten", "Eleven", "Twelve"}; char * ordinal[] = {"first", "second", "third", "fourth", "fifth", "sixth", "seventh", "eighth", "ninth", "tenth", "eleventh", "twelfth", "thirteenth"}; char * item[] = { "burnt-out V.D.T.", "faulty tapes;", "heads crashed;", "bad blocks;", "core dumps;", "bad controllers; ", "blown partitions;", "gettys dying;", "floppies frying;", "ports a-jamming;", "chips a-smoking;", "boards a-blowing;" }; char daystr[] = "\nOn the %s day I left it, my Unix gave to me:\n"; char finale[] = "\nOn the %s day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.\n"; main(argc, argv) int argc; char *argv[]; { int i, j; printf(heading, argc > 1 ? argv[1] : DEFAULT_HOLIDAY); for (i = 0; i < DAYS_OF_NEGLECT; i++) { printf(daystr, ordinal[i]); if (i == 0) printf("\tA %s\n", item[i]); else for (j = i; j >= 0; j--) printf("\t%s %s\n", cardinal[j], item[j]); } printf(finale, ordinal[DAYS_OF_NEGLECT]); exit(0); } ---- 8< --- cut here ---- end of valuable free source ----- cut here --- 8< ---- We wish you a Merry Solstice and a Bugfree New Year!
eks@kneller.UUCP (Eric Siegerman) (12/10/89)
On the thirteenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me: Thirteen looped postings; Twelve boards a-blowing; Eleven chips a-smoking; Ten ports a-jamming; Nine floppies frying; Eight gettys dying; Seven blown partitions; Six bad controllers; Five dups in free; Four bad blocks; Three heads crashed; Two faulty tapes; And a burnt-out V.D.T. When I found the second copy of Evan's posting in my mailbox, the preceding became irresistable. :-) -- Eric Siegerman, Toronto, Ont. eks@kneller.UUCP, eric@becker.UUCP, ...!utgpu!mnetor!becker!kneller!eks