[net.music] Fuel for Kate Bush haters

nessus@mit-eddie.UUCP (Doug Alan) (08/16/85)

["The gorgon-headed scandal sheet presents its daily bite"]

In keeping with tradition, much of the British music press has totally
trashed Kate Bush yet again.  I'd been told that much of the British
music press has never thought much of Kate Bush, but had never seen any
of the reviews except for little tiny pieces.  None of this prepared me
for the reviews of "Running Up That Hill" that appeared in the August
10th issues of the music weeklies.

On the lyric sheet for Roy Harper's newest album "Whatever Happened to
Jugula?"  there is a note saying something like "If you work for the
music press, you might as well just throw this piece of paper in the
gutter.  It will be totally lost on you anway."  At the time I read this
note, I didn't understand why Roy Harper had such bitter feelings
towards the British music press, because I just couldn't believe that
anyone could say much bad about such a wonderful musician as Roy, but
after recently seeing some of the diarrhea that they call "reviews" in
England, I can completely understand his viewpoint now.

People who hate Kate Bush might want to savour these reviews, but I
can't fathom how anyone could write a review like the following, which
is by Helen Fitzgerald of Melody Maker (Hey, Jim Hofmann, you'll
probably find this review "interesting", but sad...):

	Does Kate buy Beauty Without Cruelty lipgloss?  Are her nipples
	real?  Does she wax or shave her legs?  I mean, is this lady
	real?  What sorcery does she possess that turns normal,
	reasoning anti-sexist men into slavering, rampant and primitive
	devotees who'd trample their grandmothers for one glimpse of her
	nether regions?  It's okay Barry, I've turned the record off
	now, down boy, down I say.  Is it the voice (yeuch), her cute
	balletic pirouettes or that little girl lost expression that so
	easily stirs this bestial transformation?  This woman is either
	a witch or a hallelujah merchant, though either way she's
	precocious, dated and dull.  This record is dismally
	uninteresting, she caterwauls something about making a deal with
	God -- ho hum.

	In olden times they burned people at the stake for less than
	this.

How could anyone call such an unjustified hateful attack, a review?
I've seen bad reviews of records I like in U.S. magazines, and though
that doesn't usually make me very happy, I've never seen anything like
this!  What does it take to become a music reviewer in England?  Do you
have to be an arrogant, snide twit with an IQ of 3 who is awed at your
own non-existent self-worth?  Do you have to be able to make vile,
vicious and unsubstantiated personal attacks at honest and sincere
artists, just because you don't like their music?  How could anyone with
a human soul say such things about about someone who makes an honest and
sincere artistic effort, even if they did have no talent?  How come such
a large percentage of the world's finest musicians come from a country
where the music press is a bunch of assholes?

In any case, Helen dear, you seemed to have ignored the fact that just
as many of Kate's devoted fans are female as male, so I think it's clear
who's the sexist!  People should have their writing hand amputated for
less than your crimes.

The NME wasn't quite so hostile.  It's just clear that the reviewer is
excedingly stupid.  He, William Leith says

	Nice to see you looking so well after your holiday, Kate, and
	nice to see it hasn't  dampened your ambition any.  Just listen
	to this: "If I conly could/ I'd make a deal with God/ And I'd
	get him to swap our places."  The rest is what you'd imagine,
	really -- the voice continues to get deeper as the lyrics get
	shallower.  Tuneful, though.

Shallow lyrics?!?!?  Kate Bush hasn't had a shallow thought in her
entire life.  But go ahead William -- defame that which you just have no
chance of comprehending.  Or, William, maybe you're just jealous that
poetry Kate Bush wrote at the age of ten is an achievement orders of
magnitude greater than you will ever reach at the pinnacle of your
pathetic life.  At least you think the music is okay, which is probably
the nicest thing the NME has ever said about Kate Bush.

Not every song lyric ever written by Kate Bush is a flawless
masterpiece.  There are a few here and there previous to "The Dreaming"
that I think could be improved a little, but the vast majority of her
lyrics are stunningly good -- as good as lyrics ever get, and this
describes everything she's done since "The Dreaming".  I saw the lyrics
to "Running Up That Hill" long before I heard the song, and they just
blew me away.  They're perfect.  I'm actually somewhat disappointed by
the music to "Running Up That Hill" -- it's really good, but it doesn't
stand up to the standards Kate set on "The Dreaming".  It doesn't have
the rich complexity and infinitely layered detail that characterizes
"The Dreaming".  This is probably the fault of The British music press
which called "The Dreaming" over-produced, incomprehensible, and too
complicated.  How could all this rejection not have an effect on Kate's
work?

Record Mirror is really a joke.  Damon Rochefort writes that he likes
the song, but put the review under his "Terrible" column because he
doesn't like the picture sleeve!

	I may be the most narrow-minded person in the world, but I can
	usually see other people's point of view.  In this case I'm
	afraid I can't.  Especially when it's written badly all over her
	back and shoulders.  But the single's nice.

Well after all this abuse, I figured I couldn't find anything worse by
reading through the rest of the rags.  But as if all the previous wasn't
enough, not only do I find a defamation of Robert Frip (anyone involved
with these rags doesn't even deserve to see his name!), but I find a
review of Toyah's new album in NME.  "Great!" thinks I!  If the NME
doesn't like Kate Bush, I'm sure they'll have fun tearing apart Toyah.
Not only do they do that, but they do so by saying that she's almost as
bad as Kate Bush!

How can Kate stand to live in a country where they abuse her so!
Sometimes (a very very few times) I'm proud to be an American.  The U.S.
music press adored "The Dreaming".  Maybe Kate should move here.  Peter
Gabriel too -- from what I've heard, the British music press doesn't
like him much either.

Maybe it's a good sign that the British reviewers don't like "Running Up
That Hill".  After all, this is what they said five years ago about
"Breathing", which is one of the very best songs ever created:

	Painful mix of vocal hysterics, phoney operatics, and slimming
	club workouts...  -- Gary Bushell, Sounds

	Post-apocalypse blues sees Bush wisping like a mutant infant...
	if BBC light entertainment turn her down she can always sing
	back-up on Panorama... -- Chris Brown, Melody Maker

	And I don't think this is anything to wtite home about.  The
	feathery mystical Bush formula is put to work once again...  --
	Philip Hall, Record Mirror

This last one, totally ignores the fact that "Breathing" was totally
unlike anything else she had ever done, and was a complete artistic
break-through.

To end on a slightly happier note, at least there was one positive
review of "Running Up That Hill".  Edwin Pouncey of Sounds:

	Didn't sound like much when played on the office toaster, but
	now I've got it home I've found myself seduced by the sheer
	strangeness of Ms Bush's dramatic return.

	What dreams she must have.

All in all, though, it makes you wonder sometimes why artists even
bother trying.  	

		"Is there so much hate for the ones we love"

		 Doug Alan
		  nessus@mit-eddie.UUCP (or ARPA)

merchant@dartvax.UUCP (Peter Merchant) (08/17/85)

> How could anyone call such an unjustified hateful attack, a review?
> I've seen bad reviews of records I like in U.S. magazines, and though
> that doesn't usually make me very happy, I've never seen anything like
> this!  What does it take to become a music reviewer in England?  Do you
> have to be an arrogant, snide twit with an IQ of 3 who is awed at your
> own non-existent self-worth?  Do you have to be able to make vile,
> vicious and unsubstantiated personal attacks at honest and sincere
> artists, just because you don't like their music?  How could anyone with
> a human soul say such things about about someone who makes an honest and
> sincere artistic effort, even if they did have no talent?  How come such
> a large percentage of the world's finest musicians come from a country
> where the music press is a bunch of assholes?
> 
> 		 Doug Alan

Oh, I don't know, Doug.  I'm not a Kate Bush fan, although this is through
ignorance than anything else.  However, I have seen many personal attacks
on Madonna and their like in this newsgroup.  People who say all sorts of
nasty things about a performer just because she shows off her belly-button,
has a high voice, or has "sold-out".  C'mon, Doug!  No one is immune from
nasty remarks.  Just read the newsgroup for a little while and listen to
some of the people here.  They're not even getting paid for their music
reviews and they'll be really vicious!
--
"Not content with that                      Peter Merchant
 with our hands behind our backs
 we'll pull Jesus from a hat!
 Get into that!  Get into that!"

rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) (08/18/85)

> I've seen bad reviews of records I like in U.S. magazines, and though
> that doesn't usually make me very happy, I've never seen anything like
> this!  What does it take to become a music reviewer in England?  Do you
> have to be an arrogant, snide twit with an IQ of 3 who is awed at your
> own non-existent self-worth?

In America, the difference is that they don't have those stringent IQ
requirements.  It doesn't even have to be THAT high.

I would think a thrashing from the British press is a positive boon for
any artist.  I remember how they used to trash progrock groups to death
even before they all got senile and longwinded (while they were still
making good music), then the punks (they only hooked onto Joy Division
after Curtis' death because they sensed the oncoming cult).
-- 
Anything's possible, but only a few things actually happen.
					Rich Rosen    pyuxd!rlr

jeffw@tekecs.UUCP (Jeff Winslow) (08/19/85)

>    by Helen Fitzgerald of Melody Maker (Hey, Jim Hofmann, you'll
> probably find this review "interesting", but sad...):
> 
> 	Does Kate buy Beauty Without Cruelty lipgloss?  Are her nipples
> 	real?  Does she wax or shave her legs?  I mean, is this lady
> 	real?  What sorcery does she possess that turns normal,
> 	reasoning anti-sexist men into slavering, rampant and primitive
> 	devotees who'd trample their grandmothers for one glimpse of her
> 	nether regions?  It's okay Barry, I've turned the record off
> 	now, down boy, down I say.  Is it the voice (yeuch), her cute
> 	balletic pirouettes or that little girl lost expression that so
> 	easily stirs this bestial transformation?  This woman is either
> 	a witch or a hallelujah merchant, though either way she's
> 	precocious, dated and dull.  This record is dismally
> 	uninteresting, she caterwauls something about making a deal with
> 	God -- ho hum.
> 
> 	In olden times they burned people at the stake for less than
> 	this.
> 
> How could anyone call such an unjustified hateful attack, a review?

If it's any comfort to you, Doug, I'm still trying to figure out how
someone can be both precocious (~ ahead of her time) and dated (~ behind
her time) at the same time. And even if she were, it's hard to imagine
such a paradoxical combination being dull. Perhaps Ms. Fitzgerald has 
a random review generator online. 

Those who can, do. Those who can't, become critics.

					who is Kate Bush, anyway?  :-)
						Jeff Winslow