arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Arlene D. Hills) (07/08/88)
I'd like to share my reflections on Marcia's comment about giving aid: as a woman I not only encounter a lot of "Let me do X for you", but I (used to) expect it... it wasn't until after I had been in industry a while that I realized that I needed to develop more of a "show me" attitude, rather than allowing or encouraging others, especially men, to do something for me. I've done that somewhat, but it's still difficult if someone starts to "do something" to change course and get them to show me. Some of it has to do with the situation in which I grew up, I think (middle class WASP family in a small town), and some may be personal (my own mental block about anything mechanical), but again, did I learn those or was I born that way (or a little of both)? Anyway, it's not only the one who gives aid who may unconsciously respond differently, but a female receiver may unconsciously have different expectations than a male receiver. for what (0.02?) it's worth... Arlene -- Arlene D. Hills, Tektronix Platform Software Sustaining PO Box 1000, MS 61-215, Wilsonville, OR 97070 Graphics Workstation Division arleneh@menolly.GWD.TEK.COM (503) 685-2990
maslak@decwrl.dec.com (Valerie Maslak) (07/12/88)
In article <11838@agate.BERKELEY.EDU> arleneh%tekecs.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Arlene D. Hills) writes: >Anyway, it's not only the one who gives aid who may unconsciously >respond differently, but a female receiver may unconsciously have >different expectations than a male receiver. Arlene has hit the nail right on the head. Several years ago, my now-ex sister-in-law went to work for IBM in Poughkeepsie, as a manager, in a technical area. She had a master's in CS and was VERY bright, which was why they hired her, of course. But things were, as manager, she was the only woman in her area. That didn't bother her; she'd been in classes with mostly men, and always had men bosses in her other jobs anyway. Anyway, she was telling me about her first few months on the job, and said that everything was wonderful, all the men in her group (her subordinates) had been so helpful, they always were so willing to take time to help her, give her advice, tell her how things should be done. I took a deep breath and asked her how it went when SHE was the one giving the advice or telling THEM how things should be done. She was quiet for a long time. As Ms. Magazine used to say, "Click." Valerie Maslak