kenny@m.cs.uiuc.edu (09/26/88)
pedersen@Math.Berkeley.EDU writes that she ``was plagued by people telling [her]:'' "Oh, my, math, that's unusual for a girl to do" "You must be really bright" "You don't look like a math nerd (you're really pretty)" "You don't act like a math nerd (you have social skills)" Only the first of these remarks can really be considered sexist; as a male math major, I heard the other three often (Substitute `decently groomed,' or `decently tailored,' or `attractive' for `pretty --' saying that a man is `pretty' is a different kettle of fish). I also wound up having women decide abruptly (and offensively) that they weren't interested in me *because* I was a math major. That particular sword cuts both ways. The problem, rather, is that women, because of socialization, seem more likely (comments from the women?) to view themselves as inadequate in light of the comments, and less likely to realize that most remarks like these simply denote insecurity on the part of the man or woman that delivered them. Not that women mathematicians don't have a tough row to hoe; unquestionably you do -- mathematics is a male-dominated field, and there's lot's of sexism among the male mathematicians. But I don't think that stupid remarks that aren't sexist in themselves should be lumped together with the sexist ones. Oh, by the way, I account for the fact that I became a mathematician by the fact that I had two or three strong role models. All of them were female. Their stories make the problems of today's women entering mathematics sound ALMOST trivial -- there's no excuse for complacency, but we ARE moving in the right direction. Keep up the fight, and remember that SOME of us men are behind you.