[comp.society.women] Mental Differences between Men and Women

dmh@EDDIE.MIT.EDU (David Harmon) (10/26/88)

Reading the recent discussions here, I feel moved to comment.  Note
that my knowledge of psychology is picked up from background reading,
low-level classes at Harvard, and observation, and is accordingly
strictly amateur.  (Despite my E-mail address, I am a CS student at
Harvard.) I write with the authoritative voice for convenience --
please remember that this is all just my own observations. 

I spend a lot of time trying to understand the behavior of the people
around me, and, while I do see clear differences between the
majorities of men's and women's behavior, most of this seems to be
socially determined. 

Some things to  consider:

I find that both men and women frequently hide their emotions, but
they do so to different ends.  Whereas men traditionally hide their
emotions to maintain "cool", including stonefacing pain, I find women
tending to project amiability, hide dissatisfaction, and (frequently)
fake social interest in the person they are talking to.  (All these
traits, on both sides, tend to drive me up the wall, but that's a
complaint for another newsgroup.)  I definitely think these are social,
and specific to America for that matter.  I see no real evidence for
the old saw about "women are more emotional".  This is not to say that
there are no people who show their true emotions -- I know many such
people, and tend to prefer being around them, since non-verbal
communication is very important to me. 

With regard to "rational" versus "emotional" versus "intuitive"
thought: I consider emotion to be a darn good indicator of my needs at
any given time.  When my emotion is apparently in opposition to
"reason", it usually means that I'm doing something for the wrong
reasons, or that I'm stuck in a situation that just plain sucks, or
that I have some conflict over a decision which I haven't yet
resolved.  As for intuition: I am a Computer Science major with a long
history in other sciences.  If I don't understand an algorithm, etc,
intuitively, I don't understand it period.  To me, intuition is going
from the entire mass of data to a conclusion, instead of putting
together individual items logically.  It also seems to me that the
human brain, male and female, is very much designed for intuition --
that's how we become experts in something. 

I do suspect that men and women tend to be trained into different
value systems (men: profit, status, success; women: life, "emotional"
goals, praise), but see no reason for that to be biological.  Many of
these roles become much less clear cut when Middle or Far Eastern
cultures are considered as well as Western cultures. 

	Just my $.02,
	David Harmon