rav2@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (ameet aaron raval) (05/12/86)
In article <2181@ism780c.UUCP> marty@ism780c.UUCP (Marty Smith) writes: >In article <13678@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> lotto@brahms.UUCP (Ben Lotto) writes: >> >> >>The following is reprinted in its entirety from the Letters to the >>Editor page of The San Francisco Chronicle, Wednesday, May 7, 1986: >> >> >>AN AWESOME VISION >> >> Editor -- This morning I had an awesome vision. In it, a multi- >>colored unicorn in a fiber glass cowboy hat revealed something to me >>which I must share with every person alive: canned pineapples can save >>the world. The unicorn told me that if everyone on earth ate a can of >>pineapples at the exact same time, all of the world's problems will >>just dry up, and disappear. I have spent the entirety of today in deep >>meditation, seeking the true meaning of my vision. I have been >>enlightened that on Monday, May 26 at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, >>every single person on this earth must eat a can of pineapples. My >>meditation has also helped me realize what an enormous burden is on me >>now, and how difficult it will be for me to educate all the world on >>the wisdom of the multi-colored unicorn. The salvation of the world >>is at stake. >> >> JOHN SHENON >> Menlo Park > >I too have had this vision, but after a great deal of meditation on the >idea, I have come to the conclusion that it is motivated by an evil force. >This can be seen when one realizes that in order to educate the entire >population about eating a can of pineapples, one would have to travel >around the whole world and talk to everybody and then come back to where >one started. But if you do that, you'll be making a complete circle, and >if you make a complete circle the whole world will blow up. This would >defeat the original intent of the idea, which proves it is motivated by >a dark force. I don't know what to do. > > martin smith Have you folks stopped to think for a moment about the economic impact on the pineapple industry? I firmly believe that this is a plot by Del Monte and the other friendly pineapple suppliers found on your grocery shelves to lure unsuspecting consumers into buying their old stocks of pineapple. More importantly, there are grave nutritional implications in having everyone eat a can of pineapples. I'm quite sure that the diabetic lobby would argue that ingesting a can of pineapple would more likely bring about an end to the world as they know it! May I suggest a bowl of unflavored Farina instead. Even the most malnourished person on Earth (as we know it) would not be adversely affected by ingesting a mouth watering bowl of everyone's favorite----you guessed it---unflavored Farina! Carol Frechette, guest on... --------------------------------------------- Ameet A Raval ..ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!rav2 rav2@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP ---------------------------------------
cc100jr@gitpyr.UUCP (Joel M. Rives) (05/12/86)
In article <2181@ism780c.UUCP> marty@ism780c.UUCP (Marty Smith) writes: >In article <13678@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> lotto@brahms.UUCP (Ben Lotto) writes: >> >> >>The following is reprinted in its entirety from the Letters to the >>Editor page of The San Francisco Chronicle, Wednesday, May 7, 1986: >> >> >>AN AWESOME VISION >> >> Editor -- This morning I had an awesome vision. In it, a multi- >>colored unicorn in a fiber glass cowboy hat revealed something to me >>which I must share with every person alive: canned pineapples can save >>the world. The unicorn told me that if everyone on earth ate a can of >>pineapples at the exact same time, all of the world's problems will >>just dry up, and disappear. I have spent the entirety of today in deep >>meditation, seeking the true meaning of my vision. I have been >>enlightened that on Monday, May 26 at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, >>every single person on this earth must eat a can of pineapples. My >>meditation has also helped me realize what an enormous burden is on me >>now, and how difficult it will be for me to educate all the world on >>the wisdom of the multi-colored unicorn. The salvation of the world >>is at stake. >> >> JOHN SHENON >> Menlo Park > >I too have had this vision, but after a great deal of meditation on the >idea, I have come to the conclusion that it is motivated by an evil force. >This can be seen when one realizes that in order to educate the entire >population about eating a can of pineapples, one would have to travel >around the whole world and talk to everybody and then come back to where >one started. But if you do that, you'll be making a complete circle, and >if you make a complete circle the whole world will blow up. This would >defeat the original intent of the idea, which proves it is motivated by >a dark force. I don't know what to do. > > martin smith Not to worry. The perfection of imperfection is. joel rives