[comp.binaries.ibm.pc.d] Read this ? ? ?

cmanis@csoftec.csf.com (Cliff Manis) (12/04/90)

SPLIT PERSONALITIES ON ELECTRONIC BULLETIN BOARDS
by Rangott Spliekin, Soviet News Agency TASS

During my brief visit to the United States in the fall of
1989, I was able to study certain specialized cases of split
personalities.  While they are considered harmless and perhaps
tolerably eccentric by the American psychiatric establishment, it
is acknowledged that it is a growing problem among young
technicians.

Frustrated by a lack of popular recognition which continues
to be focused on earners of large income (The "bottom line" as it
is popularly called), these young geniuses are beginning to talk
to themselves.  But unlike the ramblers and murmurers we find
here in Moscow, they use the technology available to individuals
in America: the home computer.

A network of electronic bulletin boards exists in the U.S.,
connected by commercial telephone lines and available to almost
anyone who has a computer and a telephone connection device known
as a "modem."  Individual subscribers can then sign in and talk
to other, similarly uninspired individuals.  The system was
developed for the quick transfer of information but has
degenerated into a remote, arms-length communications system.

In fact, anyone who can afford to have their home computers
occupied most of the time can establish such a board with "free"
software provided by generous programmers.  When I suggested to
an official of a conglomerate telephone company that it was they
who created the software to keep technicians occupied instead of
productive and to increase the profits of the telephone company,
the charge was denied.

But I digress.

I interviewed Dr. George Sands of the Institute for Abnormal
Electronic Behavior in Berkeley and he acknowledged that there is
a growing problem am ong young technicians (which he insisted on
calling "users") as the amount of bulletin boards continue to
grow.

"There are actually more bulletin boards than users in the
Bay Area [San Francisco and environs] and they kept talking and
arguing with the same people. Some were clearly showing symptoms
of boredom.  A few clever ones signed on these boards under
several names, taking on a new persona for each name.  They would
call under one name and answer under another name.

"In one case, a man in his mid-fifties had as many as six
personas and possibly as many as eight.  One of the personas was
actually promoted to assistant system operator."

"How could that be?" I asked.

"The operator had never actually met this man.  Nor heard his
voice.  In fact," he chuckled, "one of those personas was a
woman.  Now that couldn't happen if he had ever spoken to him on
a voice line."

Dr. Sands dismissed my contention that the bulletin board
system was dehumanizing, explaining that that was what was said
about telephones when they were first developed.  "Americans have
too little history to take it seriously. They much prefer playing
with their tools which they often mistake for toys. Ships were
redesigned, in the Nineteenth Century, for quick, commercial, and
sometimes revenue-evading, trips to all parts of the world.  Soon
afterwards, Americans were racing them for sport.  The home
computer is just another misused tool."

The real danger, he went on to say, is that more individuals
will become isolated from their fellow men.  "Home computers are
much more entertaining than even T.V. and television has created
a whole generation of stay-at-homers, referred sarcastically by
some commentators as 'couch potatoes.'"  If anything has staved
off this horrible eventuality, he went on to say, it is the fact
that more training is required to operate a home computer than a
television set.

At the moment, only "the best and the brightest and the most
eccentric" falling prey to this problem."

I asked the good doctor how such people can be spotted and
institutionalized for their own good.

He gave the following indications.

1.  Their homes lack most furniture, having only the bare
essentials.

2.  Everything is spotlessly clean except for the television set
which will have a layer of dust on the screen.

3.  The bed is never made.

4.  There will be six or seven phone lines to the home.

5.  Only computer manuals will be present, no other books.

6.  The men will be almost universally divorced (no women have
fallen prey to this yet despite the fact that some of the
pathological personas are women) or be on the verge of divorce.

7.  Their children, if any, will have run away from home.  No
very young victim has had any children.

8.  Sexually, they will be inactive.  At least, they won't
reproduce.

9.  As with alcoholics, they will be scrupulously careful to
report to their jobs each day but they will be uncreative and
rarely be promoted to positions of responsibilities.  Not because
of lack of abilities, but because they will evade the extra time
necessary to accomplish these goals.

10. The refrigerator will contain only spoiled potato chips and
half-opened cans of beers.  Many of these users drink soft-drinks
because of the high sugar content.  One institutionalized case
had not eaten in six days. He was found by the police in a small
grocery store, after closing hours, with open bags of chips and
six-packs of Cokes lying about, laughing hysterically and trying
to dial out on the computerized cash register. When they saw the
thick glasses and the plastic pen holder in his pocket, they
notified Dr. Sands.

The United States government has tried unsuccessfully to
introduce electronic bulletin boards in the Moscow area so our
geniuses are similarly engaged in fruitless labor.
The great Pavlov once pointed out that to hypnotize a
chicken, you merely need to draw a chalk line along pavement,
place the chicken so its legs are on either side of the line and
it will freeze. Human beings require a more complex hypnotic tool
and television has served the state well over the years.

Now, such a hypnotic tool has been found for the
intelligentsia.  It's even got them talking to themselves.
---
Translated from PRAVDA
Translation (c) 1989 by Yves Barbero

cy5@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Conway Yee) (12/07/90)

In article <901203222726.cmanis@csoftec.csf.com> cmanis@csoftec.csf.com (Cliff Manis) writes:
>SPLIT PERSONALITIES ON ELECTRONIC BULLETIN BOARDS
>by Rangott Spliekin, Soviet News Agency TASS

[much of article deleted]

Are you sure that this isn't a joke?

					Conway Yee, N2JWQ
yee@ming.mipg.upenn.edu    (preferred)             231 S. Melville St.
cy5@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (forwarded to above)    Philadelphia, Pa 19139
yee@bnlx26.nsls.bnl.gov    (rarely checked)        (215) 386-1312