russell (11/01/82)
The following treatise is taken from publicity material
sent out by Alta Engineering Corp., Atlanta, Georgia about
three years ago. I have no connection with that company but
I thought it might amuse some of the readers of network
news. My apologies, in advance, to those who consider it
sacrilegious.
The Ark and The Computer
And the Lord said unto Noah: "Where is the Ark which I have
commanded thee to build?"
And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, I have had three car-
penters off ill. The gopher wood supplier hath let me down
... Yea, even though the gopher wood hath been on order nigh
upon twelve months. What can I do, O Lord?"
And God said unto Noah: "I want that Ark finished even after
seven days and seven nights."
And Noah said: "It will be so."
And it was not so. And the Lord said unto Noah: "What
seemeth to be the trouble this time?"
And Noah said unto the Lord: "Mine subcontractor hath gone,
alas, bankrupt. The pitch which though commandedst me to put
on the outside and the inside of the Ark hath not arrived.
The pipefitter hath gone on strike. Shem, my son, who hel-
peth me on the Ark side of the business, hath formed a rock
group with his brothers Ham and Japheth. The canvas,
although on hand, is not the right color. Lord, I am
undone."
And the Lord grew angry and said: "And what about the
animals, the male and the female of every sort that I
ordered to come unto thee to keep their seed alive upon the
face of the Earth?"
And Noah said: "They have been delivered unto the wrong
address but should arriveth on Friday."
And the Lord said: "How about the unicorn and the fowls of
the air by sevens?"
And Noah wrung his hands and wept saying: "Lord, unicorns
are a discontinued line, thou canst not get them for love
nor money. And fowls of the air are sold only in half-
dozens.....the peacocks even then, are on back order for
weeks to come. Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it is."
And the Lord said: "Rest my Son, In my wisdom I should have
known this would follow when I listened to Satan and
installed a computer."