MAULIK@BIONET-20.ARPA (04/07/88)
From: <OFFORD%CGECMU51.BITNET@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
DEAR COMRADES!
MESSAGE IS COMING TO ATTENTION THAT VILE IMPERIALIST
AGENTS PROVOCATEUR HAVE DARED INSERT CYNICAL FORGED
MESSSAGE IN NETWORK "GULAG" (= GIVES UNLIMITED
LEISURETIME AFTER GLASNOST). MESSAGE IS STATING THAT
ADVANCED SOVIET SCIENCE COULD BENEFIT FROM DUMPING OF
OUTMODED WESTERN COMPUTING TOOLS SUCH AS "VAX" AND
"KRAY".
DEAR COMRADES! YOU MUST IGNORING REACTIONARY FACIST
SLANDER! SOVIET COMPUTING NEEDING NO IMPERIALIST LEASE-
LEND, NO SIR! UNDER UNLIGHTENED LEADERSHIP CENTRAL
COMMITTEE ALL NECESSARY COMPUTING ADVANCES ACHIEVED WELL
AHEAD OF FIVE-YEAR SCHEDULE! FOR INSTANCE, NOW NO
TROUBLE IN AERIAL DELIVERY OF JOLLY SOVIET FRIENDHIP
PACKAGES ANYWHERE ON GLOBE (ACCURACY 150 METRES) AT 20
MINUTES NOTICE! THIS INSPIRING ACHIEVEMENT OF COMBINED
WORKERS PEASANTS AND INTELLECTUALS DUE TO CORRECT
INTERPRETATION OF HISTORICAL TRENDS UNDER PARTY GUIDANCE
AND:
1. NEW DISK OPERATING SYSTEM "KGB" (ver. 1.0; TOTAL
SURVEILLANCE OF ALL INPUT, NO OUTPUT)
2. UNIQUE "LUBYANKA" DISK-CACHE
3. "SOVIETSKI GOTHIC" MACRO-CHANNEL ARCHITECTURE. WITH
OPTIONAL FIFTH COLUMN, SEVERAL DOZEN MICRO-MIPS!
4. "STAKHANOVITE" NON-FLOPPY DISKS
5. DIESEL-POWERED DRIVES FOR THE ABOVE (AT ALL GUM
STORES BY EARLY 1995!)
6. "NORTONSKAYA" PURGE FACILTY (ERASES UNERASED FILES
AT THE TOUCH OF A TRIGGER)
7. AND MUCH MORE, TOO DANGEROUS TO MENTION!
DEAR COMRADES! PLEASE REMEMBERING OLD SOVIET SAYING
"YOP MOYEE STAAREE SAPOGYI, AMERIKANSKI!"
THAT IS TO SAY:
"SOVIET COMPUTERS: YESTERDAY'S TECHNOLOGY...TOMORROW!"
WITH FRATERNAL GREETINGS (WE'LL BE SEEING YOU SOONER
THAN YOU THINK)!
PROF. E. TVOYMATCH
DIV IV,
KREMLYEVSKY PAYOK,
CCCP
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