MAULIK@BIONET-20.ARPA (04/07/88)
From: <OFFORD%CGECMU51.BITNET@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU> DEAR COMRADES! MESSAGE IS COMING TO ATTENTION THAT VILE IMPERIALIST AGENTS PROVOCATEUR HAVE DARED INSERT CYNICAL FORGED MESSSAGE IN NETWORK "GULAG" (= GIVES UNLIMITED LEISURETIME AFTER GLASNOST). MESSAGE IS STATING THAT ADVANCED SOVIET SCIENCE COULD BENEFIT FROM DUMPING OF OUTMODED WESTERN COMPUTING TOOLS SUCH AS "VAX" AND "KRAY". DEAR COMRADES! YOU MUST IGNORING REACTIONARY FACIST SLANDER! SOVIET COMPUTING NEEDING NO IMPERIALIST LEASE- LEND, NO SIR! UNDER UNLIGHTENED LEADERSHIP CENTRAL COMMITTEE ALL NECESSARY COMPUTING ADVANCES ACHIEVED WELL AHEAD OF FIVE-YEAR SCHEDULE! FOR INSTANCE, NOW NO TROUBLE IN AERIAL DELIVERY OF JOLLY SOVIET FRIENDHIP PACKAGES ANYWHERE ON GLOBE (ACCURACY 150 METRES) AT 20 MINUTES NOTICE! THIS INSPIRING ACHIEVEMENT OF COMBINED WORKERS PEASANTS AND INTELLECTUALS DUE TO CORRECT INTERPRETATION OF HISTORICAL TRENDS UNDER PARTY GUIDANCE AND: 1. NEW DISK OPERATING SYSTEM "KGB" (ver. 1.0; TOTAL SURVEILLANCE OF ALL INPUT, NO OUTPUT) 2. UNIQUE "LUBYANKA" DISK-CACHE 3. "SOVIETSKI GOTHIC" MACRO-CHANNEL ARCHITECTURE. WITH OPTIONAL FIFTH COLUMN, SEVERAL DOZEN MICRO-MIPS! 4. "STAKHANOVITE" NON-FLOPPY DISKS 5. DIESEL-POWERED DRIVES FOR THE ABOVE (AT ALL GUM STORES BY EARLY 1995!) 6. "NORTONSKAYA" PURGE FACILTY (ERASES UNERASED FILES AT THE TOUCH OF A TRIGGER) 7. AND MUCH MORE, TOO DANGEROUS TO MENTION! DEAR COMRADES! PLEASE REMEMBERING OLD SOVIET SAYING "YOP MOYEE STAAREE SAPOGYI, AMERIKANSKI!" THAT IS TO SAY: "SOVIET COMPUTERS: YESTERDAY'S TECHNOLOGY...TOMORROW!" WITH FRATERNAL GREETINGS (WE'LL BE SEEING YOU SOONER THAN YOU THINK)! PROF. E. TVOYMATCH DIV IV, KREMLYEVSKY PAYOK, CCCP revisionist@gulag-1917.nye_pravda_v`isvestia.ny`isvestia _v_pravda>