Rob.Carr@asuvax.asu.edu (Rob Carr) (06/10/89)
I keep trying to write this message, but I seem to have trouble finding the
words I want to say. I'm a paramedic here in Pittsburgh. I don't know if it's
because I've studied more about HIV/ARC/AIDS etc. or what, but I seem to get
more than the average number of PWAs. Fortunately, being prepared (including
nebbing on this echo) seems to help. Recently I took a PWA in the endstage of
AIDS to the hospital.
He was my age. That was the second thing I noticed. The first was that he was
dying. Human beings shouldn't ever have to look that sick. His breathing was
labored as all hell, and except for the KS, his face was colorless. He was so
short of breath, he couldn't even talk. His eyes seemed to say all the things
his lungs wouldn't let him. He was frightened. Of the shortness of breath, of
the dying, and of some stranger who came to take him to the hospital. He was
frightened of me.
Not that I wasn't frightened myself. I wasn't worried so much about getting
HIV. Excluding needle sticks, the chances are better that I'll be hit by a
meteorite. The thought did cross my mind though. Mostly I was worried that I
wouldn't be able to do as good a job helping him as I would want someone to do
for me. Also, I didn't want to look like a jerk.
He'd authorized his nurse to inform us that he was HIV positive and to give us
a list of his medicines. I appreciated the honesty, even if the situation was
a bit obvious. Kneeling down so that he could see me easier, I put a hand on
his arm and told him that my partner and I would try to take as good a care of
him as we could. No gloves were needed. I tried to explain what I was doing,
taking vitals, listening to his lungs, putting him in a stair chair to get him
to the stretcher downstairs.
I confused the doctor during the consult. I stated that the patient was a
"PWA," figuring that was enough. Fortunately, though the doc didn't know the
abreviation, he did know the medicines. He agreed that the nebulized albuterol
might help, and asked me to start a prophylactic IV D5W KVO. Since the fellow
already had a shunt in, he didn't need me poking him with needles and
introducing more germs into his system, so I told the doc this. Paramedic IV's
tend to infect easily, possibly as high as 30%. So we did the albuterol and
went to the hospital.
While rechecking vitals, I prayed for him. I try to do that with for all my
patients. I asked that he'd be healed. I'm not sure I believed that he would
or if I was just realistic, so I also asked that if he were to die, that God
would be with him and comfort him. Pretty lousy prayer, but I tried.
At the hospital, he got a word out to me. "Thanks." A friend of his who went
with us also thanked me, but he also said something sad. He said I was the
first paramedic to treat him so professionally and so humanly.
A short time later, the patient died.
It still hurts, but it still feels good. At least I feel like there's an
excuse for my existance in this world. I really wish he hadn't died.
---
* Origin: NorthStar Pitt - Pittsburgh, PA (412-881-1749) (Opus 1:129/81)
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Uucp: ...{gatech,ames,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!stjhmc!129!81!Rob.Carr
Internet: Rob.Carr@f81.n129.z1.fidonet.orgkwee@beaver.cs.washington.edu (kelvin wee) (06/12/89)
To the paramedic (Rob Carr) who wrote of his experience with the PWA. I just wanted to thank you for sharing it. I have lost several friends to AIDS related diseases, and all too often, their doctors, nurses and the paramedics who take them to the hospital have not been as caring or even sensitive to their needs or feelings. I hope that you will carry on the torch for all other paramedics to follow, the world needs people who are like you - professional and caring. -- ===Kelvin Wee===kwee.drizzle.cs.uoregon.edu===kwee.drizzle.UUCP===