v075n3an@ubvmsa.cc.buffalo.edu (Michael T Mucci) (10/27/90)
Im real concerned taht if you continue to push HIM to do something.youll push him away from you.. you wrote a letter and clearly expressed your concern caring , support and love... that is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) now let it go.. you did your part.... WE CAN CARRY THE MESSAGE.... NOT THE INFECTED PERSON............ you say hes pushing you away... and i believe it.... your forcing him to look at something hes not ready to.... again BACK OFF or youll lose him.. or the friendhsip you have... at present it does seem strained...... RX: for you..... go to meetings as expressed in past msg..for "WORRIED WELL" i agree with the AL anon suggestion... they deal with CODEPENDENCE.. which I feel you may be dealing with.. that is putting someone else first before ourselves..... not a terrible thing.. its understandable ..you love him.. and dont wanna see him fall... BUT.. its not healthy for you or he.. you need to take care of YOU. john is in his 20's? hes not studpid im sure. this is 1990.. he knows whats happening out there..... youve clearly pointed the way.... 1. you need support for you 2. I would go back to JOHn.. cuz your relationship is strained NOW.... and say something like hey dude... i know ive been pushing you to look at this.. its cuz i love you. and im concerned..... but i havent looked at your side... maybe you dont want to or arent ready yet.. and thats your decision.... i realize i was controling or wanting to control you. .thats no goood.. and im gonna allow aht decison to be yours.... apologize if youve offended him... tell him youll give his life to him...and IM HERE JOHN IF YOU NEED ME>>. then just be your normal selves you must repair the underlying resentmetns..... for your relationship to continue MAIL ME AT v075n3an@ubvms if you need to talk.. all my best... :) your a lovign person .. now love yoru self and take care of you.. go to a meeting