karl@sugar.UUCP (Karl Lehenbauer) (05/25/88)
Here is my fortune cookie program, with a file of fortune cookies that
includes, as well as many classics, a broad range of secular humanist,
science, , software engineering, religion, church and state and just plain
weird quotes, cookies and aphorisms.
------------------- cut here ------------------------------------------
:
#! /bin/sh
# This is a shell archive, created on Sugar Land Unix (..!uunet!nuchat!sugar)
# (bbs: 713-438-5018) by karl (Karl Lehenbauer) on Fri Apr 8 14:23:18 1988
# Remove anything before the "#! /bin/sh" line, then unpack it by saving
# it into a file and typing "sh file". If you do not have sh, you need
# unshar, a dearchiving program which is widely available. In the absolute
# wost case, you can crack the files out by hand.
# If the archive is complete, you will see the message "End of archive."
# at the end.
# This archive contains the following files...
# 'README'
# 'cookhash.c'
# 'cookie.c'
# 'cookie.h'
# 'cookies'
# 'makefile'
# To extract them, run the following through /bin/sh
echo x - README
sed 's/^X//' > README << '//END_OF_FILE'
XCookie programs and cookie file
X-------------------------------
X
XVersion 0.0, By Karl Lehenbauer, 4/7/88
X
XYet another fortune cookie program... The main thing that makes this
Xone interesting is the cookie file, which is abundantly full of quotes,
Xcookies and such, of varying quality and accuracy. In particular,
Xit has many good quotes about software engineering, humanism, church
Xand state, and the human condition.
X
XThe only machine that it for sure works on is a PC/AT clone running
XMicroport System V/AT. It should, however, work perfectly well on
Xother System V systems. To run under BSD, really_random() needs to
Xbe twiddled. Similarly small efforts should be required to get it
Xto run under V7, MS-DOS, etc.
X
XTo use, set the paths for the cookie and cookie hash files in cookie.h
Xthen move the cookie file, "cookies", to its final resting place.
X
XCompile and link cookie.c and cookhash.c "make" should do it.
X
XGenerate the hash file to go along with the cookies, something like:
Xcookhash <cookies >cookie.hash
X
X$ cookie
X
XDirect flames, kudos and questions to
X ..!{uunet!nuchat}|{bellcore!tness1}!sugar!karl
//END_OF_FILE
echo x - cookhash.c
sed 's/^X//' > cookhash.c << '//END_OF_FILE'
X/* cookhash - read a sayings file and generate an index file */
X/* %M% %I% %H% */
X
X#include <stdio.h>
X
X#define YES 1
X#define NO 0
X#define METACHAR '%'
X
Xmain(argc,argv)
Xint argc;
Xchar *argv[];
X{
X int c, sawmeta;
X long charpos = 0;
X
X if (argc != 1)
X {
X fprintf(stderr,"usage: cookhash <cookiefile >hashfile\n");
X exit(1);
X }
X
X /* write out the "address" of the first cookie */
X puts("000000");
X
X /* read the cookie until the end,
X * whenever the end-of-cookie ("%%") sequence is found,
X * the "address" (file position) of the first byte following
X * it (start of next cookie) is written to the index (hash) file
X */
X while ((c = getchar()) != EOF)
X {
X if (c == METACHAR)
X {
X if (sawmeta)
X {
X printf("%06lx\n",charpos+2);
X sawmeta = NO;
X }
X else
X sawmeta = YES;
X }
X else
X sawmeta = NO;
X charpos++;
X }
X exit(0);
X}
X
X/* end of cookhash.c */
//END_OF_FILE
echo x - cookie.c
sed 's/^X//' > cookie.c << '//END_OF_FILE'
X/* cookie - print out an entry from the sayings file */
X/* %M% %I% %H% */
X
X#include <stdio.h>
X#include "cookie.h"
X
X#define ENTSIZE 7L
X#define METACHAR '%'
X#define YES 1
X#define NO 0
X
Xchar *sccs_id = "@(#) fortune cookie program %I% %H% by K. Lehenbauer";
X
Xextern long lseek(), time();
Xextern int rand();
X
Xchar *cookiename = COOKIEFILE;
Xchar *hashname = HASHFILE;
X
X/* really_random - insure a good random return for a range, unlike an arbitrary
X * random() % n, thanks to Ken Arnold, Unix Review, October 1987
X * ...likely needs a little hacking to run under Berkely
X */
X#define RANDOM_RANGE ((1 << 15) - 1)
Xint really_random(my_range)
Xint my_range;
X{
X int max_multiple, rnum;
X
X max_multiple = RANDOM_RANGE / my_range;
X max_multiple *= my_range;
X while ((rnum = rand()) >= max_multiple)
X continue;
X return(rnum % my_range);
X}
X
Xmain(argc,argv)
Xint argc;
Xchar *argv[];
X{
X int nentries, oneiwant, c, sawmeta = 0;
X FILE *hashf, *cookief;
X long cookiepos;
X
X /* if we got exactly three arguments, use the cookie and hash
X * files specified
X */
X if (argc == 3)
X {
X cookiename = argv[1];
X hashname = argv[2];
X }
X /* otherwise if argc isn't one (no arguments, specifying the
X * default cookie file), barf
X */
X else if (argc != 1)
X {
X fputs("usage: cookie cookiefile hashfile\n",stderr);
X exit(1);
X }
X
X /* open the cookie file for read */
X if ((cookief = fopen(cookiename,"r")) == NULL)
X {
X perror(cookiename);
X exit(2);
X }
X
X /* open the hash file for read */
X if ((hashf = fopen(hashname,"r")) == NULL)
X {
X perror(hashname);
X exit(2);
X }
X
X /* compute number of cookie addresses in the hash file by
X * dividing the file length by the size of a cookie address
X */
X if (fseek(hashf,0L,2) != 0)
X {
X fputs("cookie: fseek failed\n",stderr);
X exit(3);
X }
X nentries = ftell(hashf) / 7L;
X
X /* seed the random number generator with time in seconds plus
X * the program's process ID - it yields a pretty good seed
X * again, thanks to Ken Arnold
X */
X srand(getpid() + time(NULL));
X
X /* generate a not really random number */
X oneiwant = really_random(nentries);
X
X /* locate the one I want in the hash file and read the
X * address found there
X */
X fseek(hashf,(long)oneiwant * ENTSIZE, 0);
X fscanf(hashf,"%lx",&cookiepos);
X
X /* seek cookie file to cookie starting at address read from hash */
X fseek(cookief,cookiepos,0);
X
X /* get characters from the cookie file and write them out
X * until finding the end-of-fortune sequence, '%%'
X */
X while ((c = fgetc(cookief)) != EOF && sawmeta < 2)
X {
X if (c != METACHAR)
X {
X if (sawmeta)
X putchar(METACHAR);
X putchar(c);
X sawmeta = 0;
X }
X else
X sawmeta++;
X }
X exit(0);
X}
X
X/* end of cookie.c */
//END_OF_FILE
echo x - cookie.h
sed 's/^X//' > cookie.h << '//END_OF_FILE'
X/* cookie.h - include file for karl's cookie program */
X
X#define COOKIEFILE "/usr/local/lib/cookies"
X#define HASHFILE "/usr/local/lib/cookie.hash"
X
X/* end of cookie.h */
//END_OF_FILE
echo x - cookies
sed 's/^X//' > cookies << '//END_OF_FILE'
XWhat is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.
X%%
XLet me play with it first and I'll tell you what it is later.
X- Miles Davis
X%%
XYou will be successful in your work.
X%%
XIn the beginning i was made. I didn't ask to me made. No one consulted
Xme or considered my feelings in this matter. But if it brought some
Xpassing fancy to some lowly humans as they haphazardly pranced their
Xway through life's mournful jungle then so be it.
X- Marvin the Paranoid Android
X%%
XI just thought of something funny...your mother.
X- Cheech Marin
X%%
XLack of skill dictates economy of style.
X- Joey Ramone
X%%
XLife is wasted on the living.
X- Zaphod Beeblebrox IV
X%%
XYouth is wasted on the young.
X- George Bernard Shaw
X%%
XThe life of a repo man is always intense.
X%%
XYou will soon meet a tall dark handsome stranger.
X%%
X!xob XINEX siht edisni kcuts m'I ,pleH
X%%
XI like the future, I'm in it.
X%%
XIf you don't watch it, you're going to catch something.
X%%
XTo be, or what?
X- Sylvester Stallone
X%%
XGive a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll
Xinvite himself over for dinner.
X%%
XI waited and waited, and when nobody called, I knew it was from you.
X%%
XA stitch in time saves nine.
X%%
XThere's a bug somewhere in your code.
X%%
XEen schip op het strand is een baken in zee.
X[A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.]
X- Dutch Proverb
X%%
XFaire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait attendre,
Xc'est pour mieux vous servir, et vous plaire.
X[Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better,
X and to please you.]
XMenu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans
X[Also, what we're going to be telling our customers]
X%%
XAdde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit.
X[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
X- OVID
X%%
XHe'll sit here and he'll say, "Do this! Do that!" And nothing will happen.
X- Harry S. Truman, on presidential power
X%%
XPractice is the best of all instructors.
X- Publilius
X%%
XExperience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
X- Poor Richard's Almanac
X%%
XThe author should gaze at Noah, and ... learn, as they did in the Ark, to crowd
Xa great deal of matter into a very small compass.
X- Sydney, Smith, Edinburgh Review
X%%
XThe hypothesis:
XAmid a wash of paper, a small number of documents become the critical pivots
Xaround which every project's management revolves. These are the manager's
Xchief personal tools.
X- Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XThere is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
X- Swift
X%%
XIt is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly
Xand try another. But above all, try something.
X- Franklin D. Roosevelt
X%%
XThings are always at their best in the beginning.
X- Pascal
X%%
XThat is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended -- civilizations are
Xbuilt up -- excellent institutions devised; but each time something goes wrong.
XSome fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to the top, and then
Xit all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the machine conks. It seems
Xto start up all right and runs a few yards, and then it breaks down.
X- C. S. Lewis
X%%
XA good workman is known by his tools.
X%%
XI can call spirts from the vasty deep.
XWhy so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call for them?
X- Shakespeare, king Henry IV, Part I
X%%
XNone love the bearer of bad news.
X- Sophocles
X%%
XHow does a project get to be a year late? ... One day at a time.
X- Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XWhat we do not understand we do not possess.
X- Goethe
X%%
XThe tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long time
Xto come. One can expect the human race to continue attempting systems just
Xwithin or just beyond our reach; and software systems are perhaps the most
Xintricate and complex of man's handiworks. The management of this complex
Xcraft will demand our best use of new languages and systems, our best
Xadaptation of proven engineering management methods, liberal doses of common
Xsense, and ... humility to recognize our fallibility and limitations.
X- Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XAll programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts
Xthose who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds
Xof nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end
Xgoal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,
Xand the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works,
Xthe result is indisputable: "This time it will surely run," or "I just found
Xthe last bug."
X- Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XThe flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.
X- Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XThe first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of a project
Xtakes 90% of the time.
X%%
XAt first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on the
Xcreative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is quite untrue
Xin practice. disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather than blinkers it.
X- G. L. Glegg, The Design of Design
X%%
X"GOTO statement considered harmful"
X- E. W. Dijkstra, title to a letter in CACM 11, 3 (March, 1968)
X%%
XThe meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us will go to the stars.
X%%
XThe emperor has no clothes.
X%%
XHere at Controls, we have one chief for every Indian.
X%%
XThe clothes have no emperor.
X- C. A. Hoare, about Ada.
X%%
XThere will always be survivors.
X- Robert Heinlen
X%%
XThe programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-
Xstuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the
Ximagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and
Xrework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.
X- Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
X%%
XMind your own business, Mr. Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
X%%
XA Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is having fun.
X%%
XA foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
X- Samuel Johnson
X%%
XA gift of flower will soon be made to you.
X%%
XA liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a communist.
X%%
XA man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
X%%
XA professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
X%%
XUniversity: A modern school where football is taught.
X%%
XActors will happen in the best-regulated families.
X%%
XAdmiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
X%%
XWe're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
X- Rufus T. Firefly, in "Duck Soup"
X%%
XIt's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom
Xwindow or outside your bedroom, period.
X- Groucho Marx
X%%
XAll that glitters has a high refractive index.
X%%
XAnybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
X%%
XBeen Transferred Lately?
X%%
XBeware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
X%%
XBlessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
X%%
XAngular momentum makes the world go round.
X%%
XCharity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
X%%
XCrazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
X%%
XDeath: to stop sinning suddenly.
X%%
XDo not underestimate the power of the Force.
X%%
XDon't eat yellow snow. - Frank Zappa
X%%
XDon't force it, use a bigger hammer.
X%%
XDon't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
X%%
XDrawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
X%%
XEvery absurdity has a champion to defend it.
X%%
XEverything you know is wrong. - The Firesign Theater
X%%
XFailure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
X%%
XFinagle's Law: The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.
X%%
XFlee at once, all is discovered.
X%%
XGenius is the talent of a man who is dead.
X%%
XGod must love the common man; He made so many of them.
X%%
XHackers of the world, unite!
X%%
XDyslexics of the world, untie!
X%%
XHe who hesitates is sometimes saved.
X%%
XHis heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
X%%
XI like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
X%%
XI think we're all Bozos on this bus.
X%%
XI will never lie to you.
X%%
XI wish you humans would leave me alone.
X%%
XIf God had wanted man to go around nude, He would have given him bigger hands.
X%%
XIf God had wanted man to fly, He would have given him airline tickets.
X%%
XIgnore previous fortune.
X%%
XIt is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
X%%
XLaugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
X%%
XLong life is in store for you.
X%%
XLove and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
X%%
XLove is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
X%%
XMany are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
X%%
XMany are called, few volunteer.
X%%
XMight as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of
XCasablanca.
X%%
XNo one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
X%%
XNow and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature.
X%%
XParanoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
X%%
XPhilosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
X%%
XSomeone is unenthusiastic about your work.
X%%
XStability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
X%%
XSturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
X%%
XTake care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
X%%
XThe Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
X%%
XThe Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
X%%
XThe decision doesn't have to be logical, it is unanimous.
X%%
XThe time is right to make new friends.
X%%
XThe universe is laughing behind your back.
X%%
XThere is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
X%%
XTime is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
X%%
XTo think is human, to compute, divine.
X%%
XToday is the last day of your life so far.
X%%
XTry the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.
X%%
XWhat is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
X%%
XWhat this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
X%%
XWords must be weighed, not counted.
X%%
XYou are going to have a new love affair.
X%%
XYou have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
X%%
XYou have been selected for a secret mission.
X%%
XYou will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
X%%
XYou will be surprised by a loud noise.
X%%
XYou will feel hungry again in another hour.
X%%
XYou'll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people.
X%%
XYour boss is thinking about you.
X%%
XIf something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
X%%
XWhen everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four more months
Xof work to do.
X- C. Portman of ICL Ltd.
X%%
XWe stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter
Xhopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the
Xwisdom to make the right choice.
X- Woody Allen
X%%
XSome people hope to achieve immortality through their works or their children.
XI would prefer to achieve it by not dying.
X- Woody Allen
X%%
XNothing is done until nothing is done.
X%%
XThe fourth law of thermodynamics:
XThe perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
X%%
XThere are no saints, only unrecognized villains.
X%%
XThere are no bugs, only unrecognized features.
X%%
XIt may soon be time for you to look for a new line of work.
X%%
XYour project will be late.
X%%
XThe CS Sage says: Seek new employment prior to the imposition of performance
Xpenalties on your project.
X%%
XYou will see the light at the end of the tunnel; unfortunately, it will be
Xthe light of an oncoming freight train.
X%%
XWhat is virtue today may be vice tomorrow.
X%%
X"The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the contry demands bold,
Xpersistent experimentation."
X- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
X%%
XMoney talks...but all mine keeps saying is "goodbye"
X%%
X"No, it's 'Blessed are the meek.' I think that's nice, 'cause really they have
Xa hell of a time." - someone in the crowd in "The Life of Brian"
X%%
X"I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'" "Nonsense, he was obviously
Xreferring to all manafacturers of dairy products."
X- two people in the crowd in "The Life of Brian"
X%%
XHow do you make a small fortune in Texas oil?
X
XStart with a big one.
X%%
XWhat can a pigeon do that a west Texas oil man can't do anymore?
XA pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Mercedes.
X%%
XHow many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?
XTwo. One to change the bulb and another to reflect on how much more gratifying
Xit was than a man.
X%%
XHow many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
XTwo. One to change the bulb and one to mix the drinks.
X%%
XHow many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
XOnly one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want
Xto change.
X%%
XHow many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
XFour. One to change the bulb and three to share the experience.
X%%
XHow many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
XNone. It's a hardware problem.
X%%
XTo program anything that is programmable is obsession.
X%%
XIll play with it first and tell you what it is later.
X- Miles Davis
X%%
XI was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
Xthese aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
Xkind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
XI wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
Xavoiding the beach.
X- Lucinda Childs (Philip Glass: Einstein On The Beach)
X%%
XNothing is true. Everything is permitted.
X- Hassan I Sabbah
X
XBullshit.
X- Karl
X%%
XDon't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
X- Bo Diddley
X%%
XThe opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a
Xprofound truth may well be another profound truth.
X- Niels Bohr
X%%
XJust because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
X- Southern California Oracle
X%%
XThe most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to
Xcorrelate all its contents.
X- H. P. Lovecraft
X%%
XTake what you can use and let the rest go by.
X- Ken Kesey
X%%
XIts not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
X- Little Richard
X%%
XI never loved another person the way I loved myself.
X- Mae West
X%%
XSometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
X- Sigmund Freud
X%%
XWhen choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried
Xbefore.
X- Mae West
X%%
XHer life was saved by rock and roll.
X- Lou Reed
X%%
XI regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital
Xintimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
X- J. Edgar Hoover
X%%
X"Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody I would never had lit
Xone." - Maxim of the Hells Angels
X%%
XIt is a rather pleasent experience to be alone in a bank at night.
X- Willie Sutton
X%%
XNever invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
X- Billy Rose
X%%
XThe rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.
X- Karl Marx
X
XIf Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of
Xit ... it would have been much better.
X- Karl Marx's Mother
X
X(Sysop's note: I think this is a joke. Can anyone verify it?)
X%%
XIf you think the United States has stood still, who built the
Xlargest shopping center in the world?
X- Richard M. Nixon
X%%
XWhen I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
Xit on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
X- Al Capone
X%%
XAnything anybody can say about America is true.
X- Emmett Grogan
X%%
XTip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
X- Frank Lloyd Wright
X%%
XIf you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.
X- Spiro Agnew
X%%
XIf you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.
X- Ronald Reagan
X%%
XIf you've seen one Grand Canyon, you've seen them all.
X- a member of the Monkey Wrench Gang
X%%
XHe who shits on the road will meet flies on his return.
X- South African Saying
X%%
XYou can't underestimate the power of fear.
X- Tricia Nixon
X%%
XThe whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
X- Wavy Gravy
X%%
XThe end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
X- Buckminster Fuller
X%%
XThings are more like they are now than they ever were before.
XDwight D. Eisenhower
X%%
XCollege isn't the place to go for ideas.
X- Hellen Keller
X%%
XPoliticians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
X- Arthur C. Clarke
X%%
XAmerica, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
X- Allen Ginsberg
X%%
XIt is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat
Xsomebody.
X- Richard M. Nixon
X%%
XAny smoothly functioning technology will have the appearence of magic.
X- Arthur C. Clarke
X%%
XJustice is incedental to law and order.
X- J. Edgar Hoover
X%%
XMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
X- Groucho Marx
X%%
XThe first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
X- Abbie Hoffman
X%%
XStay out of the road, if you want to grow old.
X- Pink Floyd
X%%
XHere I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
X- Peter Drucker
X%%
XHow can you be two places at once when youre not anywhere at all?
X- Firesign Theater
X%%
XI think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XWe are what we pretend to be.
X- Kurt Vonnegut, JR
X%%
XWe are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XThe race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -
Xbut thats the way to bet.
X- Damon Runyon
X%%
XI could prove God statistically.
X- George Gallup
X%%
XMy religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
Xspirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
Xwith our frail and feeble mind.
X- Albert Einstein
X%%
XReal wealth can only increase.
X- R. Buckminster Fuller
X%%
XAnyone can hate. it costs to love.
X- John Williamson
X%%
XIn the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
Xor becomes true.
X- John Lilly
X%%
XTime is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
X- Graffiti
X%%
XThe most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
X- Albert Einstein
X%%
XNobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
X- Tallulah Bankhead
X%%
XA physicist is an atoms way of knowing about atoms.
X- George Wald
X%%
XDont lose
XYour head
XTo gain a minute
XYou need your head
XYour brains are in it.
X- Burma Shave
X%%
XIt was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
Xalways thus.
X- Dean Lattimer
X%%
XBurnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
X- Ken Weaver
X%%
XWe don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.
X- John Culkin
X%%
XTry to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XI waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from
Xyou.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XPlease don't lie to me, unless youre absolutely sure Ill never find out the
Xtruth.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XPlease don't ask me what the score is, Im not even sure what the game is.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XI either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XIf you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XI don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XMaybe Im lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the
Xwrong direction.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XBy doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
Xoverwhelm me.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XTo be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the
Xtarget.
X- Ashleigh Brilliant
X%%
XAmerica is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without
Xcivilization in between.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XThe flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
X- Alan Coult
X%%
XIf the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
Xpresumably flunk it.
X- Stanley Garn
X%%
XThe world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.
X- Father Robert F. Capon
X%%
XSure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest
Xmen in national government too.
X- Richard M. Nixon
X%%
XWe are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
X- Dwight D. Eisenhower
X%%
XIf we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
Xinevitiable.
X- John F. Kennedy
X%%
X"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and if
Xit were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. Thats logic."
X- Lewis Carroll
X%%
XIt takes a long time to understand nothing.
X- Edward Dahlberg
X%%
XTo know the world one must construct it.
X- Cesare Pavese
X%%
XEeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
X- Bullwinkle Moose
X%%
XThe mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
X- Tenessee Williams
X%%
XAn object never serves the same function as its image- or its name.
X- Rene Magritte
X%%
XAll I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
Xya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
X- Kingfish
X%%
XHe who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
X- M. C. Escher
X%%
XLaw of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
X If at first you don't suceed, transform your data set.
X%%
XLaws of Computer Programming
X(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
X(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
X(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
X(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
X(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
X(6) The value of a program is porportional to the
X weight of its output.
X(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
X programmer who must maintain it.
X(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in
X English, and you will find that programmers cannot write
X in English.
X- SIGPLAN Notices, Vol 2 No 2
X%%
XWhen more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
X- Calvin Coolidge
X%%
XThe first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
X- Paul Erlich
X%%
XIf A equals success, then the formula is:
X A= X + Y + Z
XX is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
X- Albert Einstein
X%%
XSex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.
X- Joseph Fischer
X%%
XFourth Law of Thermodymanics:
X If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
X- David Ellis
X%%
XFrouds Law:
X A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing
X first.
X%%
XFullers Law of Cosmic Irreversibility:
X 1 Pot T == 1 Pot P
X 1 Pot P != 1 Pot T
X- R. Buckminster Fuller
X%%
XThe meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
X- J. Paul Getty
X%%
XGive a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs
Xpounding.
X- Abraham Kaplan
X%%
XThe fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
X- Roger Levian
X%%
XUnder any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance
Xunder which you can be booked.
X- Robert D. Sprecht (Rand Corp)
X%%
XThoreau's Law:
X If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good,
X you should run for your life.
X%%
XVique's Law:
X A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
X%%
XIf builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
Xthen the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
X- Gerald Weinberg (sysop's note: bull)
X%%
XZimmerman's Law of Complaints:
XNobody notices when things go right.
X%%
XReal knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
X- Confucius
X%%
XWhoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
XBook of Proverbs
X%%
XIt usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
X- Mark Twain
X%%
XThe unnatural, that too is natural.
X- Goethe
X%%
XI used to be indecisive; now Im not sure.
X- Graffiti
X%%
XI had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
X- Samuel Goldwyn
X%%
XHe hasn't one redeeming vice.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XI'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
X- Graffiti
X%%
X(To Walter Cronkite):
X"Well Walter, I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number
Xof heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running
Xup and down a street"
X- Neil Armstrong
X%%
X"You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "But I forgave
Xyou that doubt. You doubted your own self and failed to believe
Xin your own powers as a leader, and I forgave you that also. But
Xyou lost faith in these people and doubted the divine possibilities
Xof Human Nature. THIS loss of faith makes it impossible for
Xyou to enter the Promised Land."
X- The Midrash
X%%
X" 'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability"
X- George Bernard Shaw
X%%
X"Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
Xwithout any proof"
X- Ashley Montague
X%%
XBirth, copulation and death.
XThat's all the facts when you come to brass tacks;
XBirth, copulation and death.
X- T. S. Elliot, Sweeney Agonistes (1932)
X%%
X"Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood."
X- D. B. Hudson
X%%
X"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
X'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take
Xall the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover."
X- Bill Gates, Pres., Microsoft, Inc.
X%%
XBradley's Bromide:
XIf computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee...
X that will do them in.
X%%
XCivilization Law #1:
XCivilization advances by extending the number of important operations
Xone can do without thinking about them.
X%%
XKetterling's Law:
XLogic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
X%%
X"Whenever 'A' attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon 'B',
X'A' is most likely a scoundrel"
X- H. L. Mencken
X%%
X"The government of the United States is not in any sense founded
Xon the Christian Religion"
X- George Washington
X%%
X"In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty."
X - Thomas Jefferson
X%%
X"During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
Xbeen upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride
Xand indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both,
Xsuperstition, bigotry, and persecution."
X - James Madison
X%%
X"Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations"
X - Thomas Jefferson
X%%
X"We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately"
X - Benjamin Franklin
X%%
X"Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried"
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
X"Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
Xcontrol of the country, it would probably fly around in circles"
X- Pat Paulsen
X%%
X"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself"
X- Albert Camus
X%%
X"Six years for possession of a cigarette?...I got six months for possession
Xof a deadly weapon!"
X- cartoon by S. Harris
X%%
XThe Swartzberg Test:
X The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
X%%
X"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
Xthe rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
Xcivilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
XWe must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward
Xstriving of the human race"
X- Alfred North Whitehead
X%%
X"My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of
Xhuman systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly
Xvulnerable.... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the
Xfrontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we
Xdo; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether
Xor not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to
Xspace, because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought
Xus, in our generation, to a point from which we can explore and
Xunderstand and utilize it. To turn back now would be to deny
Xour history, our capabilities."
X- James A. Michener
X%%
X"What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go
Xto the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to
Xbuild railroads across a continent? In independent thought
Xabout this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it
Xtakes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil's view,
Xthe simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American
Xlife. First, a base of technology must exist from which to do
Xthe thing to be done. Second, a period of national uneasiness
Xabout America's place in the scheme of human activities must
Xexist. Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses
Xthe national attention upon the direction to proceed. Finally,
Xan articulate and wise leader must sense these first three
Xconditions and put forth with words and action the great thing
Xto be accomplished. The motivation of young Americans to do what
Xneeds to be done flows from such a coincidence of conditions....
XThe Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John Kennedys
Xappear. We must begin to create the tools of leadership which
Xthey, and thier young frontiersmen, will require to lead us
Xonward and upward."
X- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt, Sen., New Mexico
X%%
X"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!"
X - Bill Kirchenbaum, comedian -
X%%
X"To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer"
X- Morris Kingston
X%%
X"I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more
Xof them who were paralyzed in the head"
X- George Wallace
X%%
X"You don't have to explain something you never said"
X- Calvin Coolidge
X%%
X"A little caution outflanks a large cavalry"
X- Bismarck
X%%
X"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money"
X- Everett Dirksen
X%%
X"The personal computer market is about the same size as the
Xtotal potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the
Xsize of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total
Xworldwide sales of pantyhose"
X - James Finke, Pres., Commodore Int'l Ltd.(1982)
X%%
X"I like a man who grins when he fights."
X- Winston Churchill
X%%
X"There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true."
X- Winston Churchill
X%%
X"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick
Xhimself up and carry on..."
X- Winston Churchill
X%%
X"God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday,
Xand Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday,
XThursday, and Saturday."
X- William Bragg
X%%
X"Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die"
X- John W. Campbell
X%%
X"That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest"
X- Thoreau (Sysop's note: and if so, what are we doing here?)
X%%
XLife is not one thing after another.... it's the same damn thing over and over!
X%%
XThe meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
X%%
XAfter all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
X%%
XBeauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
X%%
XThere is no remedy for sex but more sex.
X%%
XAny given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
X%%
XTell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe
Xyou.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll have to touch it
Xto be sure.
X%%
XSex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going to get or how
Xlong it will last.
X%%
XWhat matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
X%%
XLove is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.
X%%
X"Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no
Xone else has thought."
X- Albert Szent-Gyorgi
X%%
X"Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals"
X- "Oh, Lucky Man"
X%%
XI really hate this damn machine,
XI wish that they would sell it.
XIt never does just what I want,
XBut only what I tell it.
X%%
X"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
Xunited with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels"
X- Goya
X%%
X"Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon
Xthe wall instead of using it"
X- Gordon R. Dickson
X%%
X"Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor."
X- Toynbee
X%%
X"We have met the enemy and he is us"
X- Walt Kelly (in POGO)
X%%
X"You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are
Xnow extinct."
X- M. Somerset Maugham
X%%
X"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
X- Bert Lantz
X%%
X"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity."
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
X"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
X- Voltaire
X%%
X"IBM uses what I like to call the 'hole-in-the-ground technique'
Xto destroy the competition..... IBM digs a big HOLE in the
Xground and covers it with leaves. It then puts a big POT
XOF GOLD nearby. Then it gives the call, 'Hey, look at all
Xthis gold, get over here fast.' As soon as the competitor
Xapproaches the pot, he falls into the pit"
X- John C. Dvorak
X%%
X"There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them"
X- Heisenberg
X%%
X"It takes all sorts of in & out-door schooling to get adapted
Xto my kind of fooling"
X- R. Frost
X%%
X"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!"
X- Ben Jonson
X%%
XAnd thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that
Xcometh out of man, in their sight...Then he [the Lord!] said unto me, Lo, I
Xhave given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread
Xtherewith.
X[Ezek. 4:12-15 (KJV)]
X%%
XI have stripped off my dress; must I put it on again? I have washed my feet;
Xmust I soil them again?
XWhen my beloved slipped his hand through the latch-hole, my bowels stirred
Xwithin me [my bowels were moved for him (KJV)].
XWhen I arose to open for my beloved, my hands dripped with myrrh; the liquid
Xmyrrh from my fingers ran over the knobs of the bolt. With my own hands I
Xopened to my love, but my love had turned away and gone by; my heart sank when
Xhe turned his back. I sought him but I did not find him, I called him but he
Xdid not answer.
XThe watchmen, going the rounds of the city, met me; they struck me and
X wounded me; the watchmen on the walls took away my cloak.
X[Song of Solomon 5:3-7 (NEB)]
X%%
XHow beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy
Xthighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel
Xis like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap
Xof wheat set about with lillies.
XThy two breasts are like two young roses that are twins.
X[Song of Solomon 7:1-3 (KJV)]
X%%
XHow beautiful, how entrancing you are, my loved one, daughter of delights!
XYou are stately as a palm-tree, and your breasts are the clusters of dates.
XI said, "I will climb up into the palm to grasp its fronds." May I find your
Xbreast like clusters of grapes on the vine, the scent of your breath like
Xapricots, and your whispers like spiced wine flowing smoothly to welcome my
Xcaresses, gliding down through lips and teeth.
X[Song of Solomon 7:6-9 (NEB)]
X%%
XWear me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong
Xas death, passion cruel as the grave; it blazes up like blazing fire, fiercer
Xthan any flame.
X[Song of Solomon 8:6 (NEB)]
X%%
XBut Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to
Xthee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the
Xwall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
X[2 Kings 18:27 (KJV)]
X%%
XWhen Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about to occupy, and
Xdriven out many infidels before you...you're to cut them down and exterminate
Xthem. You're to make no compromise with them or show them any mercy.
X[Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]
X%%
XI just thought of something funny...your mother.
X- Cheech Marin
X%%
XIn the beginning, I was made. I didn't ask to be made. No one consulted
Xwith me or considered my feelings in this matter. But if it brought some
Xpassing fancy to some lowly humans as they haphazardly pranced their way
Xthrough life's mournful jungle, then so be it.
X- Marvin the Paranoid Android, From Douglas Adams' Hitchiker's Guide to the
XGalaxy Radio Scripts
X%%
XYou will be successful in your work.
X%%
XThe life of a repo man is always intense.
X%%
XIf you're not careful, you're going to catch something.
X%%
XThat's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they
Xreally hate is lousy programmers.
X- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"
X%%
XWherever you go...There you are.
X- Buckaroo Banzai
X%%
XLife in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
X- Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan
X%%
XLack of skill dictates economy of style.
X- Joey Ramone
X%%
XNo one is fit to be trusted with power. ... No one. ... Any man who has lived
Xat all knows the follies and wickedness he's capabe of. ... And if he does
Xknow it, he knows also that neither he nor any man ought to be allowed to
Xdecide a single human fate.
X- C. P. Snow, The Light and the Dark
X%%
XSuccessful and fortunate crime is called virtue.
X- Seneca
X%%
XWhen we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find
Xanyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,
Xtwo lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the
Xhistory of war have so few been led by so many.
X- General James Gavin
X%%
XThe only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
X- Edmund Burke
X%%
XYou may call me by my name, Wirth, or by my value, Worth.
X- Nicklaus Wirth
X%%
XGive a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
XTeach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
X- Calvin Keegan
X%%
XPrediction is very difficult, especially of the future.
X- Niels Bohr
X%%
XThe computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact
Xmathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
X- Frank Zappa
X%%
XThings are not as simple as they seems at first.
X- Edward Thorp
X%%
XThe main thing is the play itself. I swear that greed for money has nothing
Xto do with it, although heaven knows I am sorely in need of money.
X- Feodor Dostoyevsky
X%%
XIt is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.
X- Robert Bly
X%%
XMachines take me by surprise with great frequency.
X- Alan Turing
X%%
XUncertain fortune is thoroughly mastered by the equity of the calculation.
X- Blaise Pascal
X%%
XAfter Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
X- Freeman Dyson
X%%
XThere are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make
Xit so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to
Xmake it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
X- Charles Anthony Richard Hoare
X%%
XDo not allow this language (Ada) in its present state to be used in
Xapplications where reliability is critical, i.e., nuclear power stations,
Xcruise missiles, early warning systems, anti-ballistic missle defense
Xsystems. The next rocket to go astray as a result of a programming language
Xerror may not be an exploratory space rocket on a harmless trip to Venus:
XIt may be a nuclear warhead exploding over one of our cities. An unreliable
Xprogramming language generating unreliable programs constitutes a far
Xgreater risk to our environment and to our society than unsafe cars, toxic
Xpesticides, or accidents at nuclear power stations.
X- C. A. R. Hoare
X%%
XWithout coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in the
Xway he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an
Xindispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no less
Ximportant to him than his table or his white robe.
X- Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac
X%%
X"It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline.
XBeyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."
X- Hunter S. Thompson
X%%
XIn the pitiful, multipage, connection-boxed form to which the flowchart has
Xtoday been elaborated, it has proved to be useless as a design tool --
Xprogrammers draw flowcharts after, not before, writing the programs they
Xdescribe.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XThe so-called "desktop metaphor" of today's workstations is instead an
X"airplane-seat" metaphor. Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while
Xseated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference -- one can
Xsee only a very few things at once.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
X...when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has
Xbeen known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XA little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems
Xhave been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,
Xthose software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are
Xthe products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix,
XAPL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them
Xwith Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
X...computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since
Xcivilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price
Xgain in 30 years.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XSoftware entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human
Xconstruct because no two parts are alike. If they are, we make the two
Xsimilar parts into a subroutine -- open or closed. In this respect, software
Xsystems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where
Xrepeated elements abound.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XDigital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:
XThey hyave very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
Xand testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states
Xthan computers do.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XThe complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one.
XHence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity
Xoften abstract away its essence.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XEinstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because
XGod is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software
Xengineer.
X- Fred Brooks, Jr.
X%%
XExcept for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.
X- Ellyn Mustard
X%%
XThe connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems
Xand solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting
Xlanguage features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best
Xdangerous.
X- Bjarne Stroustrup in "The C++ Programming Language"
X%%
XThe only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.
X- Brian Kernighan
X%%
XPerfection is acheived only on the point of collapse.
X- C. N. Parkinson
X%%
XThere you go man,
XKeep as cool as you can.
XIt riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.
XKeep on being free!
X%%
XBingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise,
Xand you'll be Gary, Indiana. - Jessie in the movie "Greaser's Palace"
X%%
XHoping to goodness is not theologically sound. - Peanuts
X%%
XPolice up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks.
X- Willem Dafoe in "Platoon"
X%%
X"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific."
X-- Jane Wagner
X%%
X"Any medium powerful enough to extend man's reach is powerful enough to topple
Xhis world. To get the medium's magic to work for one's aims rather than
Xagainst them is to attain literacy."
X-- Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
X%%
X"Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to
Xmake the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable.
XAs in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If
Xwe value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for
Xpersonal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing
Xa part of our lives?"
X-- Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
X%%
X"The greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace."
X-- Holly Near
X%%
X"No matter where you go, there you are..."
X-- Buckaroo Banzai
X%%
XTrespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.
X%%
XTrespassers will be shot. Survivors will be SHOT AGAIN!
X%%
X"I'm growing older, but not up."
X-- Jimmy Buffett
X%%
XScientists will study your brain to learn more about your distant cousin, Man.
X%%
X"I hate the itching. But I don't mind the swelling."
X-- new buzz phrase, like "Where's the Beef?" that David Letterman's trying
X to get everyone to start saying
X%%
XYour own mileage may vary.
X%%
X"Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again."
X-- Marvin The Paranoid Android
X%%
X"Send lawyers, guns and money..."
X-- Lyrics from a Warren Zevon song
X%%
X"I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs."
X- H. L. Mencken
X%%
X"Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom;
XWisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love;
XLove is not music; Music is the best." -- Frank Zappa
X%%
XI can't drive 55.
X%%
X"And they told us, what they wanted...
X Was a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance." -- Kate Bush
X%%
X"In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not
Xthere if you want to keep writing good code." - Karl
X%%
XBadges? We don't need no stinking badges.
X%%
XI can't drive 55.
XI'm looking forward to not being able to drive 65, either.
X%%
XThank God a million billion times you live in Texas. -Karl
X%%
XSit on a happy face.
X%%
X"Can you program?" "Well, I'm literate, if that's what you mean!"
X%%
XNo user-servicable parts inside. Refer to qualified service personnel.
X%%
XAt the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly
Xcontradictory attitudes -- an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre
Xor counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny
Xof all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep
Xnonsense. Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the
Xworld, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism: The collective
Xenterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the
Xfield on track.
X-- Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade, February 1, 1987
X%%
XOne of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled
Xlong enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no
Xlonger interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured
Xus. it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that
Xwe've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the
Xnew bamboozles rise.)
X-- Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade, February 1, 1987
X%%
XRegarding astral projection, Woody Allen once wrote, "This is not a bad way
Xto travel, although there is usually a half-hour wait for luggage."
X%%
XThe inability to benefit from feedback appears to be the primary cause of
Xpseudoscience. Pseudoscientists retain their beliefs and ignore or distort
Xcontradictory evidence rather than modify or reject a flawed theory. Because
Xof their strong biases, they seem to lack the self-correcting mechanisms
Xscientists must employ in their work.
X-- Thomas L. Creed, "The Skeptical Inquirer," Summer 1987
X%%
XFinding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and
Xbamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we
Xdon't practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly
Xserious problems that face us -- and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up
Xfor grabs by the next charlatan who comes along.
X-- Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade, February 1, 1987
X%%
XDo not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging.
X%%
XDo not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging.
XDon't have aesthetic convulsions when using them, either.
X%%
XAs the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
Xbearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,
Xor putatively less buggy. The replacement of a working component by a new
Xversion requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
Xcomponent does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
Xefficient test cases will usually be available.
X- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
X%%
XEach team building another component has been using the most recent tested
Xversion of the integrated system as a test bed for debugging its piece. Their
Xwork will be set back by having that test bed change under them. Of course it
Xmust. But the changes need to be quantized. Then each user has periods of
Xproductive stability, interrupted by bursts of test-bed change. This seems
Xto be much less disruptive than a constant rippling and trembling.
X- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
X%%
XConceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one
Xmind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
X- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
X%%
XIt is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but it
Xis also very memorable. I vividly recall the night we decided how to organize
Xthe actual writing of external specifications for OS/360. The manager of
Xarchitecture, the manager of control program implementation, and I were
Xthreshing out the plan, schedule, and division of responsibilities.
X
XThe architecture manager had 10 good men. He asserted that they could write
Xthe specifications and do it right. It would take ten months, three more
Xthan the schedule allowed.
X
XThe control program manager had 150 men. He asserted that they could prepare
Xthe specifications, with the architecture team coordinating; it would be
Xwell-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule. Futhermore, if
Xthe architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling their thumbs
Xfor ten months.
X
XTo this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control program
Xteam the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time, but would
Xalso be three months late, and of much lower quality. I did, and it was. He
Xwas right on both counts. Moreover, the lack of conceptual integrity made
Xthe system far more costly to build and change, and I would estimate that it
Xadded a year to debugging time.
X- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
X%%
XThe reason ESP, for example, is not considered a viable topic in contemoprary
Xpsychology is simply that its investigation has not proven fruitful...After
Xmore than 70 years of study, there still does not exist one example of an ESP
Xphenomenon that is replicable under controlled conditions. This simple but
Xbasic scientific criterion has not been met despite dozens of studies conducted
Xover many decades...It is for this reason alone that the topic is now of little
Xinterest to psychology...In short, there is no demonstrated phenomenon that
Xneeds explanation.
X-- Keith E. Stanovich, "How to Think Straight About Psychology", pp. 160-161
X%%
XThe evolution of the human race will not be accomplished in the ten thousand
Xyears of tame animals, but in the million years of wild animals, because man
Xis and will always be a wild animal.
X-- Charles Galton Darwin
X%%
XNatural selection won't matter soon, not anywhere as much as concious selection.
XWe will civilize and alter ourselves to suit our ideas of what we can be.
XWithin one more human lifespan, we will have changed ourselves unrecognizably.
X-- Greg Bear
X%%
X"Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin."
X-- Michael O'Donohugh
X%%
X...though his invention worked superbly -- his theory was a crock of sewage from
Xbeginning to end. -- Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"
X%%
X"It's like deja vu all over again." -- Yogi Berra
X%%
XThe last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.
X-- Blaise Pascal
X%%
X"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the beginning,"
Xthe King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
XAlice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
X%%
XA morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable.
X-- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XTo be awake is to be alive. -- Henry David Thoreau, in "Walden"
X%%
XA person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is
Xnever sure. Proverb
X%%
XYou see but you do not observe.
XSir Arthur Conan Doyle, in "The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes"
X%%
XA quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle
Xunless there be two. -- Seneca
X%%
XNothing ever becomes real till it is experienced -- even a proverb is no proverb
Xto you till your life has illustrated it. -- John Keats
X%%
XThe fancy is indeed no other than a mode of memory emancipated from the order
Xof space and time. -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
X%%
XWhat we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
X-- Bengamin Disraeli
X%%
XNothing in progression can rest on its original plan. We may as well think of
Xrocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant. -- Edmund Burke
X%%
XFor every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and wrong.
X-- H. L. Mencken
X%%
XDon't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
X-- James J. Ling
X%%
XOne friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible.
XFriendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought,
Xa rivalry of aim. -- Henry Brook Adams
X%%
XRemember thee
XAy, thou poor ghost while memory holds a seat
XIn this distracted globe. Remember thee!
XYea, from the table of my memory
XI'll wipe away all trivial fond records,
XAll saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
XThat youth and observation copied there.
XHamlet, I : v : 95 William Shakespeare
X%%
XObviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which he
Xhas based it. Give him the truth and he may still go wrong when he has
Xthe chance to be right, but give him no news or present him only with distorted
Xand incomplete data, with ignorant, sloppy or biased reporting, with propaganda
Xand deliberate falsehoods, and you destroy his whole reasoning processes, and
Xmake him something less than a man.
X-- Arthur Hays Sulzberger
X%%
XEach honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy
Xbased on excellence of performance. -- James Bryant Conant
X%%
XYou can observe a lot just by watching. -- Yogi Berra
X%%
XIf the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a circuit, I
Xsee no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted instantaneously by
Xelectricity. -- Samuel F. B. Morse
X%%
X"Mr. Watson, come here, I want you." -- Alexander Graham Bell
X%%
XIt's currently a problem of access to gigabits through punybaud.
X-- J. C. R. Licklider
X%%
XIt is important to note that probably no large operating system using current
Xdesign technology can withstand a determined and well-coordinated attack,
Xand that most such documented penetrations have been remarkably easy.
X-- B. Hebbard, "A Penetration Analysis of the Michigan Terminal System",
XOperating Systems Review, Vol. 14, No. 1, June 1980, pp. 7-20
X%%
XA right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
X-- Ramsey Clark
X%%
XThe price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate
Xknowledge of its ugly side. -- James Baldwin
X%%
XSmall is beautiful.
X%%
X...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality
Xtools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.
X-- M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague
X%%
XIt is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.
X-- Abraham Lincoln
X%%
XMirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.
X-- Jean Cocteau
X%%
XSuppose for a moment that the automobile industry had developed at the same
Xrate as computers and over the same period: how much cheaper and more efficient
Xwould the current models be? If you have not already heard the analogy, the
Xanswer is shattering. Today you would be able to buy a Rolls-Royce for $2.75,
Xit would do three million miles to the gallon, and it would deliver enough
Xpower to drive the Queen Elizabeth II. And if you were interested in
Xminiaturization, you could place half a dozen of them on a pinhead.
X-- Christopher Evans
X%%
XIn the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
XYou'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
X-- Robert Lucky
X%%
XGet hold of portable property. -- Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations"
X%%
XOverall, the philosophy is to attack the availability problem from two
Xcomplementary directions: to reduce the number of software errors through
Xrigorous testing of running systems, and to reduce the effect of the
Xremaining errors by providing for recovery from them. An interesting footnote
Xto this design is that now a system failure can usually be considered to be
Xthe result of two program errors: the first, in the program that started the
Xproblem; the second, in the recovery routine that could not protect the
Xsystem. -- A. L. Scherr, "Functional Structure of IBM Virtual Storage Operating
XSystems, Part II: OS/VS-2 Concepts and Philosophies," IBM Systems Journal,
XVol. 12, No. 4, 1973, pp. 382-400
X%%
XI have sacrificed time, health, and fortune, in the desire to complete these
XCalculating Engines. I have also declined several offers of great personal
Xadvantage to myself. But, notwithstanding the sacrifice of these advantages
Xfor the purpose of maturing an engine of almost intellectual power, and after
Xexpending from my own private fortune a larger sum than the government of
XEngland has spent on that machine, the execution of which it only commenced,
XI have received neither an acknowledgement of my labors, not even the offer
Xof those honors or rewards which are allowed to fall within the reach of men
Xwho devote themselves to purely scientific investigations...
X
XIf the work upon which I have bestowed so much time and thought were a mere
Xtriumph over mechanical difficulties, or simply curious, or if the execution
Xof such engines were of doubtful practicability or utility, some justification
Xmight be found for the course which has been taken; but I venture to assert
Xthat no mathematician who has a reputation to lose will ever publicly express
Xan opinion that such a machine would be useless if made, and that no man
Xdistinguished as a civil engineer will venture to declare the construction of
Xsuch machinery impracticable...
X
XAnd at a period when the progress of physical science is obstructed by that
Xexhausting intellectual and manual labor, indispensable for its advancement,
Xwhich it is the object of the Analytical Engine to relieve, I think the
Xapplication of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abtruse
Xcalculations can no longer be deemed unworthy of the attention of the country.
XIn fact, there is no reason why mental as well as bodily labor should not
Xbe economized by the aid of machinery.
X- Charles Babbage, Passage from the Life of a Philosopher
X%%
XHow many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb?
X
X"Well the diagnostics say it's fine buddy, so it's a software problem."
X%%
X"Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free
Xwith my breakfast cereal."
X- Zaphod Beeblebrox in "Hithiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
X%%
XUncompensated overtime? Just Say No.
X%%
XDecaffeinated coffee? Just Say No.
X%%
X"Show business is just like high school, except you get paid."
X- Martin Mull
X%%
X"This isn't brain surgery; it's just television."
X- David Letterman
X%%
X"Morality is one thing. Ratings are everything."
X- A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom"
X%%
XLive free or die.
X%%
X"...if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,
X this would be a better world." - Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"
X%%
XOutside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too
Xdark to read.
X%%
X"Probably the best operating system in the world is the [operating system]
X made for the PDP-11 by Bell Laboratories." - Ted Nelson, October 1977
X%%
X"All these black people are screwing up my democracy." - Ian Smith
X%%
XUse the Force, Luke.
X%%
XI've got a bad feeling about this.
X%%
XThe power to destroy a planet is insignificant when compared to the power of
Xthe Force.
X- Darth Vader
X%%
XWhen I left you, I was but the pupil. Now, I am the master.
X- Darth Vader
X%%
X"Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in
Xpoison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come
Xand get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!"
X- Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
X%%
X"There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a howling
Xaway at the sons of his father and going blurp blurp in between as if it were
Xa filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to
Xsee anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was."
X- Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
X%%
X186,000 Miles per Second. It's not just a good idea. IT'S THE LAW.
X%%
XStupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
X%%
XGee, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
X%%
XChildren begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely,
Xif ever, do they forgive them.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XSingle tasking: Just Say No.
X%%
X"Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world."
X- The Beach Boys
X%%
X"Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them
Xseemed to come from Texas."
X- Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"
X%%
X"I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my
Xlifetime."
X- Johnny Legend
X%%
XBy one count there are some 700 scientists with respectable academic credentials
X(out of a total of 480,000 U.S. earth and life scientists) who give credence
Xto creation-science, the general theory that complex life forms did not evolve
Xbut appeared "abruptly."
X- Newsweek, June 29, 1987, pg. 23
X%%
XEven if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements,
Xsooner or later the product will speak for itself.
X- Hajime Karatsu
X%%
XIn order to succeed in any enterprise, one must be persistent and patient.
XEven if one has to run some risks, one must be brave and strong enough to
Xmeet and overcome vexing challenges to maintain a successful business in
Xthe long run. I cannot help saying that Americans lack this necessary
Xchallenging spirit today.
X- Hajime Karatsu
X%%
XMemories of you remind me of you.
X- Karl
X%%
XLife. Don't talk to me about life.
X- Marvin the Paranoid Anroid
X%%
XOn a clear disk you can seek forever.
X%%
XThe world is coming to an end--save your buffers!
X%%
Xgrep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines.
X%%
XIt is your destiny.
X- Darth Vader
X%%
XHokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at
Xyour side.
X- Han Solo
X%%
XHow many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
X
X3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say "I told you so" when it doesn't work.
X%%
XHow many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
X
X"That's a known problem... don't worry about it."
X%%
XTo be is to program.
X%%
XTo program is to be.
X%%
XI program, therefore I am.
X%%
XPeople are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange
Xsurroundings -- they can become accustomed to read Lisp and
XFortran programs, for example.
X- Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press
X%%
X"I am your density."
X -- George McFly in "Back to the Future"
X%%
X"So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here."
X -- Biff in "Back to the Future"
X%%
X"Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint."
X-- Dave Sim, author of Cerebrus.
X%%
XThe existence of god implies a violation of causality.
X%%
X"I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously."
X- Doctor Graper
X%%
XOperating-system software is the program that orchestrates all the basic
Xfunctions of a computer.
X- The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, September 15, 1987, page 40
X%%
XI pledge allegiance to the flag
Xof the United States of America
Xand to the republic for which it stands,
Xone nation,
Xindivisible,
Xwith liberty
Xand justice for all.
X- Francis Bellamy, 1892
X%%
XPeople think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his
Xears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
X-- Steven Wright
X%%
XMy brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo of
Xthe entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
X -- Steven Wright
X%%
XYou can't have everything... where would you put it?
X-- Steven Wright
X%%
XI was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and
X4 people died.
X-- Steven Wright
X%%
XYou know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip
Xover? Well, that's how I feel all the time.
X-- Steven Wright
X%%
XI came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and
Xthe building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over
Xfor speeding. He asked me where I live... "Right here".
X-- Steven Wright
X%%
X"Live or die, I'll make a million."
X-- Reebus Kneebus, before his jump to the center of the earth, Firesign Theater
X%%
XThe typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic
Xlight table for cutting and pasting documents.
X%%
XThere are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs.
X- karl
X%%
XMy computer can beat up your computer.
X- karl
X%%
XKill Ugly Processor Architectures
X- karl
X%%
XKill Ugly Radio
X- Frank Zappa
X%%
X"Just Say No." - Nancy Reagan
X
X"No." - Ronald Reagan
X%%
XI believe that part of what propels science is the thirst for wonder. It's a
Xvery powerful emotion. All children feel it. In a first grade classroom
Xeverybody feels it; in a twelfth grade classroom almost nobody feels it, or
Xat least acknowledges it. Something happens between first and twelfth grade,
Xand it's not just puberty. Not only do the schools and the media not teach
Xmuch skepticism, there is also little encouragement of this stirring sense
Xof wonder. Science and pseudoscience both arouse that feeling. Poor
Xpopularizations of science establish an ecological niche for pseudoscience.
X- Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12, Fall 87
X%%
XIf science were explained to the average person in a way that is accessible
Xand exciting, there would be no room for pseudoscience. But there is a kind
Xof Gresham's Law by which in popular culture the bad science drives out the
Xgood. And for this I think we have to blame, first, the scientific community
Xourselves for not doing a better job of popularizing science, and second, the
Xmedia, which are in this respect almost uniformly dreadful. Every newspaper
Xin America has a daily astrology column. How many have even a weekly
Xastronomy column? And I believe it is also the fault of the educational
Xsystem. We do not teach how to think. This is a very serious failure that
Xmay even, in a world rigged with 60,000 nuclear weapons, compromise the human
Xfuture.
X- Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12, Fall 87
X%%
X"I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And
Xin addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the
Xadditional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.
X- Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12, Fall 87
X%%
XI'm often asked the question, "Do you think there is extraterrestrial intelli-
Xgence?" I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there,
Xand use the word *billions*, and so on. And then I say it would be astonishing
Xto me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
Xyet no compelling evidence for it. And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you
Xreally think?" I say, "I just told you what I really think." "Yeah, but
Xwhat's your gut feeling?" But I try not to think with my gut. Really, it's
Xokay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
X- Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12, Fall 87
X%%
XRepel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.
X- Indiana University fans' chant for their perennially bad football team
X%%
XIf it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
XIf it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
X- A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming
X%%
X It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all
Xprimitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach
Xof spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings
Xarise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself
Xcompletely. . . .Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged
Xonce again by the magic of the Dionysian rite, but alienated, hostile, or
Xsubjugated nature again celebrates her reconciliation with her prodigal son,
Xman.
X- Fred Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy
X%%
XThe characteristic property of hallucinogens, to suspend the boundaries between
Xthe experiencing self and the outer world in an ecstatic, emotional experience,
Xmakes it posible with their help, and after suitable internal and external
Xperparation...to evoke a mystical experience according to plan, so to speak...
XI see the true importance of LSD in the possibility of providing materail aid
Xto meditation aimed at the mystical experience of a deeper, comprehensive
Xreality. Such a use accords entirely with the essence and working character
Xof LSD as a sacred drug.
X- Dr. Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD
X%%
XI share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis
Xpervading all spheres of Western industrial society can be remedied only
Xby a change in our world view. We shall have to shift from the materialistic,
Xdualistic belief that people and their environment are separate, toward a
Xnew conciousness of an all-encompassing reality, which embraces the
Xexperiencing ego, a reality in which people feel their oneness with animate
Xnature and all of creation.
X- Dr. Albert Hoffman
X%%
XDeliberate provocation of mystical experience, particularly by LSD and related
Xhallucinogens, in contrast to spontaneous visionary experiences, entails
Xdangers that must not be underestimated. Practitioners must take into
Xaccount the peculiar effects of these substances, namely their ability to
Xinfluence our consciousness, the innermost essence of our being. The history
Xof LSD to date amply demonstrates the catastrophic consequences that can
Xensue when its profound effect is misjudged and the substance is mistaken
Xfor a pleasure drug. Special internal and external advance preperations
Xare required; with them, an LSD experiment can become a meaningful
Xexperience.
X- Dr. Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD
X%%
XI believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing capability
Xmore wisely, under suitable conditions, in medical practice and in conjution
Xwith meditation, then in the future this problem child could become a wonder
Xchild.
X- Dr. Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD
X%%
XIn the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are
Xprepared.
X- Louis Pasteur
X%%
Xcore error - bus dumped
X%%
XIf imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not
Xuse.
X%%
X"Come on over here, baby, I want to do a thing with you."
X- A Cop, arresting a non-groovy person after the revolution, Firesign Theater
X%%
X"Ahead warp factor 1"
X- Captain Kirk
X%%
X Fiery energy lanced out, but the beams struck an intangible wall between
Xthe Gubru and the rapidly turning Earth ship.
X
X "Water!" it shrieked as it read the spectral report. "A barrier of water
Xvapor! A civilized race could not have found such a trick in the Library!
XA civilized race could not have stooped so low! A civilized race would not
Xhave..."
X
X It screamed as the Gubru ship hit a cloud of drifting snowflakes.
X
X- Startide Rising, by David Brin
X%%
XHarrison's Postulate:
X For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
X%%
XMr. Cole's Axiom:
X The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant;
X the population is growing.
X%%
XFelson's Law:
X To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
X many is research.
X%%
X...Another writer again agreed with all my generalities, but said that as an
Xinveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth. Most notably I have
Xignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old. Well, I
Xhaven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected it.
XThere is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between
Xprejudice and postjudice. Prejudice is making a judgment before you have
Xlooked at the facts. Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards. Prejudice
Xis terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious
Xmistakes. Postjudice is not terrible. You can't be perfect of course; you
Xmay make mistakes also. But it is permissible to make a judgment after you
Xhave examined the evidence. In some circles it is even encouraged.
X- Carl Sagan, The Burden of Skepticism, Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. 12, pg. 46
X%%
XIf a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,
Xand (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can
Xconvince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
X- Sir Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble
X%%
XAmerica has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XUnix: Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to climb it once.
X-karl
X%%
XSometimes, too long is too long.
X- Joe Crowe
X%%
XWhen bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
Xan unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
X- Edmund Burke
X%%
XBehind all the political rhetoric being hurled at us from abroad, we are
Xbringing home one unassailable fact -- [terrorism is] a crime by any civilized
Xstandard, committed against innocent people, away from the scene of political
Xconflict, and must be dealt with as a crime. . . .
X [I]n our recognition of the nature of terrorism as a crime lies our best hope
Xof dealing with it. . . .
X [L]et us use the tools that we have. Let us invoke the cooperation we have
Xthe right to expect around the world, and with that cooperation let us shrink
Xthe dark and dank areas of sanctuary until these cowardly marauders are held
Xto answer as criminals in an open and public trial for the crimes they have
Xcommitted, and receive the punishment they so richly deserve.
X- William H. Webster, Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 15 Oct 1985
X%%
X"Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst."
X- Thomas Paine
X%%
X"I say we take off; nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
X- Corporal Hicks, in "Aliens"
X%%
X"There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to
Xdo great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way."
X- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
X%%
X"...proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the
Xdowntrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited
Xawareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect."
X- David Baker, paraphrasing Harold Urey, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
X"Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
Xpurely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the
Xold temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth."
X- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
X%%
X"Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
Xserve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
Xsociety...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared
Xadventure and achievement to the society at large."
X- Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
XThe challenge of space exploration and particularly of landing men on the moon
Xrepresents the greatest challenge which has ever faced the human race. Even
Xif there were no clear scientific or other arguments for proceeding with this
Xtask, the whole history of our civilization would still impel men toward the
Xgoal. In fact, the assembly of the scientific and military with these human
Xarguments creates such an overwhelming case that in can be ignored only by
Xthose who are blind to the teachings of history, or who wish to suspend the
Xdevelopment of civilization at its moment of greatest opportunity and drama.
X- Sir Bernard Lovell, 1962, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
XThe idea of man leaving this earth and flying to another celestial body and
Xlanding there and stepping out and walking over that body has a fascination
Xand a driving force that can get the country to a level of energy, ambition,
Xand will that I do not see in any other undertaking. I think if we are
Xhonest with ourselves, we must admit that we needed that impetus extremely
Xstrongly. I sincerely believe that the space program, with its manned
Xlanding on the moon, if wisely executed, will become the spearhead for a
Xbroad front of courageous and energetic activities in all the fields of
Xendeavour of the human mind - activities which could not be carried out
Xexcept in a mental climate of ambition and confidence which such a spearhead
Xcan give.
X- Dr. Martin Schwarzschild, 1962, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
XHuman society - man in a group - rises out of its lethargy to new levels of
Xproductivity only under the stimulus of deeply inspiring and commonly
Xappreciated goals. A lethargic world serves no cause well; a spirited world
Xworking diligently toward earnestly desired goals provides the means and
Xthe strength toward which many ends can be satisfied...to unparalleled
Xsocial accomplishment.
X- Dr. Lloyd V. Berkner, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
XThe vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense that high
Xaims are worth-while. Vigorous societies harbor a certain extravagance of
Xobjectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of personal
Xgratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal, the love of
Xa good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such an accomplishment,
Xthe Peace brought by something worth-while.
X- Alfred North Whitehead, 1963, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
X%%
XI do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign itself
Xto going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon...
X- Lyndon B. Johnson
X%%
XLife's the same, except for the shoes.
X- The Cars
X%%
XPurple hum
XAssorted cars
XLaser lights, you bring
X
XAll to prove
XYou're on the move
Xand vanishing
X- The Cars
X%%
XCould be you're crossing the fine line
XA silly driver kind of...off the wall
X
XYou keep it cool when it's t-t-tight
X...eyes wide open when you start to fall.
X- The Cars
X%%
XAdapt. Enjoy. Survive.
X%%
XWere there fewer fools, knaves would starve.
X- Anonymous
X%%
XHumanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be
Xlost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
X- Isaac Asimov
X%%
XAnd the crowd was stilled. One elderly man, wondering at the sudden silence,
Xturned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said. Wide-eyed,
Xthe Child raised his voice and said once again, "Why, the Emperor has no
Xclothes! He is naked!"
X- "The Emperor's New Clothes"
X%%
X"Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of
XSilly Putty."
X- Dennis Rawlins, astronomer
X%%
XTo date, the firm conclusions of Project Blue Book are:
X 1. no unidentified flying object reported, investigated and evaluated
X by the Air Force has ever given any indication of threat to our
X national security;
X 2. there has been no evidence submitted to or discovered by the Air
X Force that sightings categorized as UNIDENTIFIED represent
X technological developments or principles beyond the range of
X present-day scientific knowledge; and
X 3. there has been no evidence indicating that sightings categorized
X as UNIDENTIFIED are extraterrestrial vehicles.
X- the summary of Project Blue Book, an Air Force study of UFOs from 1950
X to 1965, as quoted by James Randi in Flim-Flam!
X%%
XThose who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their
Xhearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,
Xwithout an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only
Xin the God idea, not God Himself.
X- Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish philosopher and writer
X%%
XDoubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
X- Kahlil Gibran
X%%
XDoubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
X- Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian
X%%
XDoubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
X- Voltaire
X%%
XIf only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
Xin my name at a Swiss Bank.
X- Woody Allen
X%%
XI cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. Therefore, I affirm both.
XWithout a belief in human unity I am hungry and incomplete. Human unity
Xis the fulfillment of diversity. It is the harmony of opposites. It is
Xa many-stranded texture, with color and depth.
X- Norman Cousins
X%%
XTo downgrade the human mind is bad theology.
X- C. K. Chesterton
X%%
X...difference of opinion is advantageious in religion. The several sects
Xperform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity
Xattainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
Xintroduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
Xyet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
X- Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"
X%%
XLife is a process, not a principle, a mystery to be lived, not a problem to
Xbe solved.
X- Gerard Straub, television producer and author (stolen from Frank Herbert??)
X%%
XSo we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and
Xour doubts serve to reassure us.
X- Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest
X%%
XFaith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurence of the
Ximprobable.
X- H. L. Mencken
X%%
XAnd do you not think that each of you women is an Eve? The judgement of God
Xupon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of
Xcriminal at the bar of justice.
X- Tertullian, second-century Christian writer, misogynist
X%%
XI judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents
Xbecome better people as a result of practicing it.
X- Joe Mullally, computer salesman
X%%
XImitation is the sincerest form of plagarism.
X%%
X"Unibus timeout fatal trap program lost sorry"
X- An error message printed by DEC's RSTS operating system for the PDP-11
X%%
XHow many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
X
XOne to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored
Xpower tools.
X%%
XHow many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
X
XThree: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue.
X%%
XHow long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?
X
XIt depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
X%%
XIt does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.
XIt neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XI do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
XChurch, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,
Xnor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.
X- Thomas Paine
X%%
XGod requireth not a uniformity of religion.
X- Roger Williams
X%%
XThe day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
Xas his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of
Xthe generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the
Xdawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with
Xthis artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine
Xdoctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XLet us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us
Xrestore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which
Xliberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect
Xthat having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which
Xmankind so long bled, we have yet gained little if we counternance a
Xpolitical intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of a bitter and
Xbloody persecutions.
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XI do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XThe divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere
Xin the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths,
XDoctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in
XChristianity.
X- John Adams
X%%
XThe Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could
Xnever give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
X- Abraham Lincoln
X%%
XAs to Jesus of Nazareth...I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
Xas he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
Xbut I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,
Xwith most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
Xdivinity.
X- Benjamin Franklin
X%%
XI would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
Xgotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the
Xmissiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
X- Oliver North
X%%
XI believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute --
Xwhere no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic)
Xhow to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom
Xto vote--where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
Xpolitical preference--and where no man is denied public office merely
Xbecause his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or the
Xpeople who might elect him.
X- from John F. Kennedy's address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association
X September 12, 1960.
X%%
XThe truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only
Xopposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts
Xat rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of
Xknowledge a serpent -- slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest
Xdays the church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every
Xeffort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and
Xeverywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad
Xlaws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an
Xapologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
X- H. L. Mencken
X%%
XThe notion that science does not concern itself with first causes -- that it
Xleaves the field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to mere
Xeffects -- this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could,
Xscience would explain the origin of life on earth at once--and there is
Xevery reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow.
XTo argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be filled,
Xnot by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply to give
Xignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity....
X- H. L. Mencken, 1930
X%%
XThe evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective
Xsupport, is really no evidence at all, for every recognizable emotion has
Xits opposite, and if one points one way then another points the other way.
XThus the familiar argument that there is an instinctive desire for immortality,
Xand that this desire proves it to be a fact, becomes puerile when it is
Xrecalled that there is also a powerful and widespread fear of annihilation,
Xand that this fear, on the same principle proves that there is nothing
Xbeyond the grave. Such childish "proofs" are typically theological, and
Xthey remain theological even when they are adduced by men who like to
Xflatter themselves by believing that they are scientific gents....
X- H. L. Mencken
X%%
XThere is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
Xhowever marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
XSoon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be
Xdiscovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator
Xon his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is
Xeven highly probable.
X- H. L. Mencken, 1930
X%%
XThe best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
Xfellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
Xdrifting side by side to our common doom.
X- Clarence Darrow
X%%
XWe're here to give you a computer, not a religion.
X- attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga
X%%
X...there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is
Xthe practice of truth.
X- George Jacob Holyoake
X%%
X"If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee."
X- broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center, Houston
X July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M.
X%%
XThe meek are contesting the will.
X%%
XI'm sick of being trodden on! The Elder Gods say they can make me a man!
XAll it costs is my soul! I'll do it, cuz NOW I'M MAD!!!
X- Necronomicomics #1, Jack Herman & Jeff Dee
X%%
X On Krat's main screen appeared the holo image of a man, and several dolphins.
X>From the man's shape, Krat could tell it was a female, probably their leader.
X "...stupid creatures unworthy of the name `sophonts.' Foolish, pre-sentient
Xupspring of errant masters. We slip away from all your armed might, laughing
Xat your clumsiness! We slip away as we always will, you pathetic creatures.
XAnd now that we have a real head start, you'll never catch us! What better
Xproof that the Progenitors favor not you, but us! What better proof..."
X The taunt went on. Krat listened, enraged, yet at the same time savoring
Xthe artistry of it. These men are better than I'd thought. Their insults
Xare wordy and overblown, but they have talent. They deserve honorable, slow
Xdeaths.
X- David Brin, Startide Rising
X%%
X"I'm a mean green mother from outer space"
X -- Audrey II, The Little Shop of Horrors
X%%
XLike my parents, I have never been a regular church member or churchgoer.
XIt doesn't seem plausible to me that there is the kind of God who
Xwatches over human affairs, listens to prayers, and tries to guide
Xpeople to follow His precepts -- there is just too much misery and
Xcruelty for that. On the other hand, I respect and envy the people
Xwho get inspiration from their religions.
X- Benjamin Spock
X%%
XAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
X- Andy Finkel, computer guy
X%%
XBeing schizophrenic is better than living alone.
X%%
XNOWPRINT. NOWPRINT. Clemclone, back to the shadows again.
X- The Firesign Theater
X%%
XYes, many primitive people still believe this myth...But in today's technical
Xvastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different.
X- The Firesign Theater
X%%
X...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six
Xmillion hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."
X- The Firesign Theater
X%%
XWe want to create puppets that pull their own strings.
X- Ann Marion
X%%
XI know engineers. They love to change things.
X- Dr. McCoy
X%%
XOn our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software
Xtool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University.
X- John Lions (U. of Toronto (?))
X%%
XThose who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
X- Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hack
X%%
X"You know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the United
XStates? Because your hackers have so much mobility into the establishment.
XHere, there is no such mobility. If you have the slightest bit of intellectual
Xintegrity you cannot support the government.... That's why the best computer
Xminds belong to the opposition."
X- an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity
X%%
X"Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper .... everyone was
Xeating paper and a policeman was at the door. Now all you have to do is
Xbend a disk."
X- an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,
X commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their movement
X%%
XClothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
X- Mark Twain
X%%
XThe sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.
X- Ed Bluestone
X%%
XHe's dead, Jim.
X%%
XNew York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
X- David Letterman
X%%
XYou can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
X- Al Capone
X%%
XThe fountain code has been tightened slightly so you can no longer dip objects
Xinto a fountain or drink from one while you are floating in mid-air due to
Xlevitation.
X
XTeleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur if the
Xcharacter does not have fire resistance.
X
X- README file from the NetHack game
X%%
XRemember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
X- Frank Zappa
X%%
XI think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and
Xtired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this
Xcountry with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not. But I'm
Xsick and tired of being told that I am.
X- Monty Python
X%%
X"There is no statute of limitations on stupidity."
X-- Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3.
X%%
XThere is a time in the tides of men,
XWhich, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
XOn the other hand, don't count on it.
X- T. K. Lawson
X%%
XTo follow foolish precedents, and wink
XWith both our eyes, is easier than to think.
X- William Cowper
X%%
XIt is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.
X- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65)
X%%
XOne may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or
Xabout the veracity of a given experimenter, but, taking all the supportive
Xexperiments together, the weight of evidence is so strong as readily to
Xmerit a wise man's reflection.
X- Professor William Tiller, parapsychologist, Standford University,
X commenting on psi research
X%%
XNothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.
X- John Keats
X%%
XYour good nature will bring you unbounded happiness.
X%%
X"Our journey toward the stars has progressed swiftly.
X
XIn 1926 Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-propelled rocket,
Xachieving an altitude of 41 feet. In 1962 John Glenn orbited the earth.
X
XIn 1969, only 66 years after Orville Wright flew two feet off the ground
Xfor 12 seconds, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and I rocketed to the moon
Xin Apollo 11."
X-- Michael Collins
X Former astronaut and past Director of the National Air and Space Museum
X%%
XMost people exhibit what political scientists call "the conservatism of the
Xpeasantry." Don't lose what you've got. Don't change. Don't take a chance,
Xbecause you might end up starving to death. Play it safe. Buy just as much
Xas you need. Don't waste time.
X
XWhen we think about risk, human beings and corporations realize in their
Xheads that risks are necessary to grow, to survive. But when it comes down
Xto keeping good people when the crunch comes, or investing money in
Xsomething untried, only the brave reach deep into their pockets and play
Xthe game as it must be played.
X
X- David Lammers, "Yakitori", Electronic Engineering Times, January 18, 1988
X%%
X"We can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting"
X--Stanley Sutton
X%%
XWeekends were made for programming.
X- Karl
X%%
X"Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
Xroars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
Xforlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
Xthe railroad yards."
X- H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters
X of Tennessee's anti-evolution law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.
X%%
X...we must counterpose the overwhelming judgment provided by consistent
Xobservations and inferences by the thousands. The earth is billions of
Xyears old and its living creatures are linked by ties of evolutionary
Xdescent. Scientists stand accused of promoting dogma by so stating, but
Xdo we brand people illiberal when they proclaim that the earth is neither
Xflat nor at the center of the universe? Science *has* taught us some
Xthings with confidence! Evolution on an ancient earth is as well
Xestablished as our planet's shape and position. Our continuing struggle
Xto understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
Xcast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of evolution" --
Xinto doubt.
X- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
X Vol XII No. 2
X%%
XThis was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks -- to have
Xa system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no machines,
Xno wires, no controls.
X- Michael Swanwick, "Vacuum Flowers"
X%%
XMen ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our
Xpleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs
Xand tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires
Xus with dread and fear, whether by night or by day, brings us sleeplessness,
Xinopportune mistakes, aimless anxieties, absent-mindedness and acts that are
Xcontrary to habit...
X- Hippocrates (c. 460-c. 377 B.C.), The Sacred Disease
X%%
XModern psychology takes completely for granted that behavior and neural function
Xare perfectly correlated, that one is completely caused by the other. There is
Xno separate soul or lifeforce to stick a finger into the brain now and then and
Xmake neural cells do what they would not otherwise. Actually, of course, this
Xis a working assumption only....It is quite conceivable that someday the
Xassumption will have to be rejected. But it is important also to see that we
Xhave not reached that day yet: the working assumption is a necessary one and
Xthere is no real evidence opposed to it. Our failure to solve a problem so
Xfar does not make it insoluble. One cannot logically be a determinist in
Xphysics and biology, and a mystic in psychology.
X- D. O. Hebb, Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological Theory, 1949
X%%
XPrevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations or
Xfrom a "universal mind" (the repository of all past wisdom and creativity)
Xnot only are implausible but also unfairly demean the stunning achievements
Xof individual human brains.
X- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for Psi
X Phenomena", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163-171
X%%
X... Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
Xthe person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility
Xof UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
Xresponsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
Xor colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out
Xclaims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
Xprovide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
Xthe accepted body of scientific evidence. ...
X- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, pg. 215
X%%
X"Ada is the work of an architect, not a computer scientist."
X- Jean Icbiah, inventor of Ada, weenie
X%%
XExtraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof. There are many examples of
Xoutsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies, but
Xthey prevailed with irrefutable data. More often, egregious findings that
Xcontradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts. I have
Xargued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic conciousness,"
Xand the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the foundations of
Xneuroscience. Before abandoning materialist theories of mind that have paid
Xhandsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for psi phenomena
Xthan presently exists, especially when neurology and psychology themselves
Xoffer more plausible alternatives.
X- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for Psi
X Phenomena", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163-171
X%%
XEvolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.
XOnly a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only
Xatheists could accept this Satanic theory.
X- Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, "The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution"
X%%
XEvolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going around
Xthe sun. At one time this was called the Copernican theory; but, when
Xevidence for a theory becomes so overwhelming that no informed person
Xcan doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact. That all
Xpresent life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic
Xtime, is as firmly established as Copernican cosmology. Biologists differ
Xonly with respect to theories about how the process operates.
X- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
X The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131
X%%
X...It is sad to find him belaboring the science community for its united
Xopposition to ignorant creationists who want teachers and textbooks to
Xgive equal time to crank arguments that have advanced not a step beyond
Xthe flyblown rhetoric of Bishop Wilberforce and William Jennings Bryan.
X- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
X The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131
X%%
X... The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks
Xattempts to expose sham paranormal studies; and (2) it is very well and
Xplausibly written and so rather harder to dismiss or refute by simple
Xjeering.
X- Harry Eagar, reviewing "Beyond the Quantum" by Michael Talbot,
X The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 200-201
X%%
Xe-credibility: the non-guaranteeable likelihood that the electronic data
Xyou're seeing is genuine rather than somebody's made-up crap.
X- karl
X%%
XWhenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong.
X- Oscar Wilde
X%%
XShit Happens.
X%%
XMy mother is a fish.
X- William Faulkner
X%%
XThe further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it
Xseems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the
Xfear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving
Xafter rational knowledge.
X- Albert Einstein
X$$
XThe more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events, the firmer
Xbecomes his conviction that there is no room left by the side of this ordered
Xregularity for causes of a different nature. For him neither the rule of
Xhuman nor the rule of divine will exists as an independent cause of natural
Xevents. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God interfering with natural
Xevents could never be refuted, in the real sense, by science, for this
Xdoctrine can always take refuge in those domains in which scientific knowledge
Xhas not yet been able to set foot.
X
XBut I am persuaded that such behavior on the part of the representatives
Xof religion would not only be unworthy but also fatal. For a doctrine which
Xis able to maintain itself not in clear light, but only in the dark, will
Xof necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to human
Xprogress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of religion
Xmust have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God, that is,
Xgive up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such vast
Xpowers in the hands of priests. In their labors they will have to avail
Xthemselves of those forces which are capable of cultivating the Good, the
XTrue, and the Beautiful in humanity itself. This is, to be sure, a more
Xdifficult but an incomparably more worthy task.
X- Albert Einstein
X%%
XAnyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,
Xrecognize that the domination of education or of government by any one
Xparticular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
X- Eleanor Roosevelt
X%%
XMost non-Catholics know that the Catholic schools are rendering a greater
Xservice to our nation than the public schools in which subversive textbooks
Xhave been used, in which Communist-minded teachers have taught, and from
Xwhose classrooms Christ and even God Himself are barred.
X- Our Sunday Visitor, an American-Catholic newspaper, circa 1949
X%%
XThose of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to whatever
Xchurch he sees fit, and to worship God in his own way, cannot be accused
Xof prejudice when we do not want to see public education connected with
Xreligious control of the schools, which are paid for by taxpayers' money.
X- Eleanor Roosevelt
X%%
XSpiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal
Xpower should not become too important in any church.
X- Eleanor Roosevelt
X%%
XTruth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind...
X- Percy Bysshe Shelley
X%%
XIf atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
Xidentified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
Xcollection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then
XI have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as
Xplentiful as blackberries...
X- Leslie Stephen (1832-1904), literary essayist, author
X%%
XIt is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon
Xinsufficient evidence.
X- W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876
X%%
XWhy, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is
Xwrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits
Xthat unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant?
XIs it not a spectacle to make the angels laugh? We are a company of
Xignorant beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only
Xbe incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by
Xfalling into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for
Xour daily needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe
Xthe ultimate origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures
Xto declare that we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map
Xof our infintesimal parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that
Xhe will be damned to all eternity for his faithlessness...
X- Leslie Stephen, "An agnostic's Apology", Fortnightly Review, 1876
X%%
XTill then we shall be content to admit openly, what you (religionists)
Xwhisper under your breath or hide in technical jargon, that the ancient
Xsecret is a secret still; that man knows nothing of the Infinite and
XAbsolute; and that, knowing nothing, he had better not be dogmatic about
Xhis ignorance. And, meanwhile, we will endeavour to be as charitable as
Xpossible, and whilst you trumpet forth officially your contempt for our
Xskepticism, we will at least try to believe that you are imposed upon
Xby your own bluster.
X- Leslie Stephen, "An agnostic's Apology", Fortnightly Review, 1876
X%%
XMarriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
X- Voltaire
X%%
XWhat is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed
Xof frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly --
Xthat is the first law of nature.
X- Voltaire
X%%
XIt is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because
Xhe is not of the same opinion, is a monster.
X- Voltaire
X%%
XI simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that
Xdecaying mass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to
Xmedieval conceptions of Christianity, and which still lingers among us --
Xa most serious barrier to religion and morals, and a menace to the whole
Xnormal evolution of society.
X- Andrew D. White, author, first president of Cornell University, 1896
X%%
XThe man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be.... The
Xnatural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and experience
Xonly that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough.
X- Adam Smith
X%%
XI put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis
Xsocks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think
Xyou're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a
Xvery technical boy. So I decided to get as crude as possible. These days,
Xthough, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire to
Xcrudeness.
X- Johnny Mnemonic, by William Gibson
X%%
XHowever, on religious issures there can be little or no compromise.
XThere is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious
Xbeliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than
XJese Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.
XBut like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf
Xshould be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing
Xthroughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom.
XThey are trying to force government leaders into following their position
X100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a
Xparticular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of
Xmoney or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political
Xpreachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be
Xa moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and "D." Just who do
Xthey think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the
Xright to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as
Xa legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who
Xthinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll
Xcall in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every
Xstep of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all
XAmericans in the name of "conservatism."
X- Senator Barry Goldwater, from the Congressional Record, September 16, 1981
X%%
X"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass."
X- Senator Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of Jerry Falwell's
Xsuggestion that all good Christians should be against Sandra Day O'Connor's
Xnomination to the Supreme Court
X%%
X...And no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured
Xwe may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful
Xinconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion as
Xit is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the naive.
XAs for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be
Xadvised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do us the
Xsame courtesy. They attack us and each other, and whatever their
Xprotestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear
Xthat they are easily disposed to restore to the sword. My own belief in
XGod, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge. My respect
Xfor Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the
Xmost virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth. But even well-educated Christians
Xare frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure
Xof Jesus because of the undeniable ambiguity of the scriptural record.
XSuch ambiguity is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every
Xrecognized Bible scholar is perfectly aware of it. Some Christians, alas,
Xresort to formal lying to obscure such reality.
X- Steve Allen, comdeian, from an essay in the book "The Courage of
X Conviction", edited by Philip Berman
X%%
X...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
Xexistence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
Xsystems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
Xhypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
X- Sidney Hook
X%%
XA fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
X- Winston Churchill
X%%
XWe're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism...
Xwe are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying
Xour nation today...our battle is with Satan himself.
X- Jerry Falwell
X%%
XThey [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach
Xof daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions
Xof the duperies on which they live.
X- Thomas Jefferson
X%%
XSaints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent.
X- George Orwell
X%%
XAs I argued in "Beloved Son", a book about my son Brian and the subject
Xof religious communes and cults, one result of proper early instruction
Xin the methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless
Xconversions -- to anything -- less likely. Brian now realizes this and
Xhas, after eleven years, left the sect he was associated with. The
Xproblem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to
Xa religious philosophy -- and it does not matter whether that philosophy
Xis generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre and
Xirrational -- the powers of reason are suprisingly ineffective in
Xchanging the believer's mind.
X- Steve Allen, comdeian, from an essay in the book "The Courage of
X Conviction", edited by Philip Berman
X%%
XNothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult
Xthan to understand him.
X- Fyodor Dostoevski
X%%
XWe may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should
Xgovern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the
Xcenter of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major
Xprohpet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual
Xconcerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get
XChristians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God.
XBut all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual
Xresources. If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further
Xproposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology,
Xthe Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and
Xthey themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and
Xthink; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that
Xmuch closer to a truly religious situation on earth.
X- Norman Cousins, from his book "Human Options"
X%%
XThe Messiah will come. There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all
Xthe things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated.
X- Rabbi Meir Kahane
X%%
XThe world is no nursery.
X- Sigmund Freud
X%%
XIf one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any
Xconnection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of
Xreligious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and
Xsuperficial answer is not far to seek....
XThe cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the various
Xdenominations, each fairly sure that, with a fair field and no favor,
Xit could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that,
Xif any connection of State and Church were permitted, some rival
Xdenomination would get an unfair advantage.
X- John Dewey (1859-1953), American philosopher,
X from "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
X%%
XAlready the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that
Xevery subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be
Xsubmitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered
Xsamples of learning must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to
Xcommon tests. It is the essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that
Xany such "show-down" is sacrilegious and perverse. The characteristic
Xof religion, from their point of view, is that it is intellectually
Xsecret, not public; peculiarly revealed, not generall known;
Xauthoritatively declared, not communicated and tested in ordinary
Xways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion is
Xconceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,
Xthere is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in
Xreligion in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics
Xwhere the method of free inquiry has made its way. The "religious"
Xwould be the last to be willing that either the history of the
Xcontent of religion should be taught in this spirit; while those
Xto whom the scientific standpoint is not merely a technical device,
Xbut is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must protest against
Xits being taught in any other spirit.
X- John Dewey (1859-1953), American philosopher,
X from "Democracy in the Schools", 1908
X%%
XIn the broad and final sense all institutions are educational in the
Xsense that they operate to form the attitudes, dispositions, abilities
Xand disabilities that constitute a concrete personality...Whether this
Xeducative process is carried on in a predominantly democratic or non-
Xdemocratic way becomes, therefore, a question of transcendent importance
Xnot only for education itself but for its final effect upon all the
Xinterests and activites of a society that is committed to the democratic
Xway of life.
X- John Dewey (1859-1953), American philosopher
X%%
XHistory shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,
Xperiodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts
Xthem asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing
Xgrub, at intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another...
XTruly the imago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every
Xmoult is a step gained.
X- Charles Darwin, from "Origin of the Species"
X%%
X...I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and
Xconcern to be different, the African apes would be included in our
Xfamily, the Hominidae.
X- Richard Leakey
X%%
XIt is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system
Xwould see in our species -- which has tended to be cruel, destructive,
Xwasteful, and irrational -- the crown and apex of cosmic evolution.
XViewing us as the culmination of *anything* is grotesque; viewing us
Xas a transitional species makes more sense -- and gives us more hope.
X- Betty McCollister, "Our Transitional Species",
X Free Inquiry magazine, Vol. 8, No. 1
X%%
X"Well, you see, it's such a transitional creature. It's a piss-poor
Xreptile and not very much of a bird."
X- Melvin Konner, from "The Tangled Wing", quoting a zoologist who has
Xstudied the archeopteryz and found it "very much like people"
X%%
X"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
Xand so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
Xbecause good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be
Xmore destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
Xentire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
Xhonorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
Xto a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
Xgeneral understanding of science as an enterprise?
X-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186
X%%
XIt is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and
Xintimidation.
X%%
X"Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
Xspeeds faster than 85 MPH (140kph)."
X-- presumable misprint from the 1987 Buick Grand National owners manual.
X%%
X"Your attitude determines your attitude."
X-- Zig Ziglar, self-improvement doofus
X%%
XIn arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,
Xpsychokinesis, reincarnation, and so on, I am frequently challenged with
Xthe most popular of all neuro-mythologies -- the notion that we ordinarily
Xuse only 10 percent of our brains...
X
XThis "cerebral spare tire" concept continues to nourish the clientele of
X"pop psychologists" and their many recycling self-improvement schemes. As
Xa metaphor for the fact that few of us fully exploit our talents, who could
Xdeny it? As a refuge for occultists seeking a neural basis of the miraculous,
Xit leaves much to be desired.
X-- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for
X Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2, pg. 171
X%%
XThufir's a Harkonnen now.
X%%
X"By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
Xdesigners in the thin disguise of good, clean fun."
X-- P. J. Plauger, from his April Fool's column in April 88's "Computer Language"
X%%
X"If you want to eat hippopautamus, you've got to pay the freight."
X-- some IBM guy
X%%
XParkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.
X%%
XKarl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time alloted it.
X%%
XIt is better to never have tried anything than to have tried something and
Xfailed.
X- motto of jerks, weenies and losers everywhere
X%%
X"Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,
Xhardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science, not
Xaboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other dimension."
X-- Robert A. Baker, "The Aliens Among Us: Hypnotic Regression Revisited",
X The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2
X%%
X"...all the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned products,
Xif they are built at all, are dogs!"
X-- David E. Lundstrom, "A Few Good Men From Univac", MIT Press, 1987
//END_OF_FILE
echo x - makefile
sed 's/^X//' > makefile << '//END_OF_FILE'
X# makefile for cookie program 4/8/88
X
Xall: cookie cookhash
X
Xcookie: cookie.c
X cc -O -o cookie cookie.c
X
Xcookhash: cookhash.c
X cc -O -o cookhash cookhash.c
X
//END_OF_FILE
echo "End of archive."
# end of archive.
exit 0
--
..!{bellcore!tness1,uunet!nuchat}!sugar!karl, Unix BBS (713) 438-5018