bnevin@CCH.BBN.COM (Bruce Nevin) (04/21/87)
The following is a copy of some correspondance which took place between
an editor and a Mr. Lewis Carroll:
Dear Mr. Carroll,
The publisher has referred to me your latest work, a poem
called "Jabberwocky," for editing. "Jabberwocky" seems rife
with misspellings and typos; I assumed that these were
unintentional and the fault of your typist.
Fortunately, we have recently purchased PROFS (Professional
Office Systems), a new IBM package that includes a
sophisticated proofreader and spelling checker. This
program is able to guess quite accurately as to what the
misspelled word may actually be. PROFS also offers synonyms
and alternatives for words, and it can note redundant,
awkward or wordy phrases.
I have run "Jabberwocky" through this program. Granted,
your obvious intent is to produce a work of fantasy, so I've
taken some of your proper nouns to be creations of your
imagination.
Certain words, however, weren't clear. For example, the
first line of your original text read: "Twas brillig, and
the slithy toves." The only words recognized by the PROFS
proofreader were "and the."
When I hit a key marked "aid," I get a list of what PROFS
construes to be possible spellings of a flagged word. With
"slithy," PROFS came up with slithery, slimy, slither,
slimly, silty, slinky, and slight. Your typist must have
inadvertently dropped the "er" from "slithery" and come up
with the nonsense "slithy." Of course, I fixed the word to
say "slithery."
And so it goes. I continued to make repairs as I deemed
fit. But Mr. Carroll, the mistakes were not always clear.
For example, in the first verse your text read: "All mimsy
were the borogoves." The computer thought that you had
meant to say: "All misty were the bongoes," but bongoes is
a far shot from borogoves. What did you mean by borogoves?
In the second verse, you warn to "shun the frumious
Bandersnatch!" "Frumious" is obviously a misspelling of
"furious"; however, I have no idea as to just what a
Bandersnatch might be. Our computer has suggested
"Ballerinas," but I suspect that you had something better in
mind.
Mr. Carroll, I've edited many fantasies, so I must warn you
that I am familiar with all forms of sword, be they elfish,
dwarfish or otherwise. I have already heard of the "vorpal
sword" you mentioned in verse three. It seems to have
gained popularity among role-playing game enthusiasts,(1)
but I'm not sure its reference is appropriate here. The
computer certainly doesn't have "vorpal" in its memory, so
I'm not sure that the public would appreciate your using the
word. I have let the computer substitute "verbal" for
"vorpal," and I believe that you will find the result has a
nice ring to it.
Some of the other gems that your secretary came up with
include an "uffish" thought, "whiffling" when you certainly
meant "waffling," and some sort of wood. She called it a
"tulgey wood." Again the computer came through: Did you
mean "turkey wood?" Admittedly, the computer had quite a
time with "turkey wood"; it insisted that it should have
been "turkey would." But that would have been nonsense. A
good editor shouldn't be afraid to override a computer.
When I first saw the word "chortled" I was sure that you had
made it up!(2) The computer didn't flag it as being
misspelled, but it couldn't offer any synonyms for it
either. On looking it up, I was amused to discover that it
was meant to be a cross between a chuckle and a snort. How
clever of you to find it!
Well, enough criticism. I'm sure your poem is salvageable.
It's a pity, though, that even "cleaned up" this poem would
be far too difficult for children to read. One function of
the PROFS proofreader is to check the comprehension level of
a word. I'm afraid that some of the words you use are level
16, i.e., a person would have to be a graduate student or
better to understand the word. That's too bad, because
there's quite a market for children's verse.
Anyway, I've underlined the unrecognizable words in your
original and I'm returning it to you. I've also enclosed
the result of my collaboration with the computer; I believe
that you will find the corrected version to be pleasing,
understandable and in keeping with your reputation. Let me
know what you think. I hope you understand that there are
few publishers out there who care to take the time to work
with promising authors.
Yours truly,
xxxxx xxxxxx
--------------------
(1) To "Dungeons and Dragons" players, a "vorpal sword" has
the power to sever limbs when the player rolls 18 or higher.
The word is a Carroll creation.
(2) "Chortle," a word coined by Carroll, has worked its way
into standard dictionaries.
JABBERWOCKY
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
----- ------- ------ -----
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
---- ------ ----
All mimsy were the borogoves,
----- ---------
And the mome raths outgrabe.
---- ----- --------
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
----------
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
------
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
-------- ------------
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
------
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
-------
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
------
And stood awhile in thought
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
------
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
----------
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
-------- ------
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
------
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
----------
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
----
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
-------
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
-------- ------- ------
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
----- ------- ------ -----
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
---- ------ ----
All mimsy were the borogoves,
----- ---------
And the mome raths outgrabe.
---- ----- --------
JABBERWHACKY
'Twas broiling, and the slithery toes
Did gore and gimlet in the wave:
All misty were the bongoes,
And the mole rats outraged.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The furious Ballerinas!"
He took his verbal sword in hand:
Long time the meantime foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought
And, as in iffiest thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came waffling through the turkey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The verbal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galloping back.
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beaming boy!
O fabulous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas broiling, and the slithery toes
Did gore and gimlet in the wave:
All misty were the bongoes,
And the mole rats outraged.
[For the record, a mailer history (in reverse order):
Resent-From: Jane Doherty <jdoherty@cch.bbn.com>
Resent-Date: Mon, 20 Apr 87 15:58:42 EDT
From: Jack Allen 381-2141 <allen%clt.DEC@decwrl.dec.com>
Date: Friday, 17 Apr 1987 06:43:02-PDT
From: DSSDEV::EPPES "her shoes were full of feet
From: ABACUS::WOOD "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane 16-Apr-1987
-BN]