games-request@tekred.TEK.COM (06/30/87)
Submitted by: Ken Arnold <umix!apollo!arnold> Comp.sources.games: Volume 1, Issue 64 Archive-name: fortune/Patch1 [This is an official patch for the fortune that was distributed in comp.sources.games. This patch contains two major parts. The first part is a repeat of a patch that was posted to comp.sources.bugs that fixes a problem with the format of the part3 and 4 shar files. The second part is a patch to re-insert missing ^G and ^H characters that got stripped out by some mailers. The first file should be fed directly to patch (i.e. patch <SharFix); the second is a self-contained shell script that invokes patch to do its work. -br] #! /bin/sh # This is a shell archive. Remove anything before this line, then unpack # it by saving it into a file and typing "sh file". To overwrite existing # files, type "sh file -c". You can also feed this as standard input via # unshar, or by typing "sh <file", e.g.. If this archive is complete, you # will see the following message at the end: # "End of shell archive." # Contents: SharFix CtlFix.sh Patchlevel # Wrapped by billr@tekred on Mon Jun 29 16:06:09 1987 PATH=/bin:/usr/bin:/usr/ucb ; export PATH if test -f SharFix -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"SharFix\" else echo shar: Extracting \"SharFix\" \(2666 characters\) sed "s/^X//" >SharFix <<'END_OF_SharFix' X*** Part03.orig Mon Jun 1 09:09:12 1987 X--- Part03 Mon Jun 1 10:16:36 1987 X*************** X*** 108,114 **** X then X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file" X else X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_$ob_file | $ob_com > $ob_file X X71: X X 69 jvgu gjb svatref hc lbhe nff. X X -- Trbetr Pneyva X--- 108,114 ---- X then X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file" X else X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_Part03 | $ob_com > $ob_file X X71: X X 69 jvgu gjb svatref hc lbhe nff. X X -- Trbetr Pneyva X*************** X*** 1077,1086 **** X XAnapl Erntna jnagf qvibepr byq Eba ... frrzf ur'f znxvat vg uneq sbe X Xrirelbar ohg ure. X X%% X! END_OF_obscene.r13.aa X! echo shar: 21 control characters may be missing from \"obscene.r13.aa\" X! if test 34205 -ne `wc -c <obscene.r13.aa`; then X! echo shar: \"obscene.r13.aa\" unpacked with wrong size! X fi X # end of overwriting check X fi X--- 1077,1086 ---- X XAnapl Erntna jnagf qvibepr byq Eba ... frrzf ur'f znxvat vg uneq sbe X Xrirelbar ohg ure. X X%% X! END_OF_Part03 X! echo shar: 21 control characters may be missing from \"$ob_file\" X! if test 34205 -ne `wc -c <$ob_file`; then X! echo shar: \"$ob_file\" unpacked with wrong size! X fi X # end of overwriting check X fi X*** Part04.orig Mon Jun 1 09:09:18 1987 X--- Part04 Mon Jun 1 10:17:26 1987 X*************** X*** 108,114 **** X then X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file" X else X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_$ob_file | $ob_com > $ob_file X X ARJ NQQVGVBA GB GUR YVOENEL: X X"Fnyyl", gur qrcnegzrag'f arj vasyngnoyr qbyy, vf ninvynoyr ba n X Xfubeg-grez erzbiny onfvf bayl -- cyrnfr fvta ure bhg naq erghea ure X--- 108,114 ---- X then X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file" X else X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_Part04 | $ob_com > $ob_file X X ARJ NQQVGVBA GB GUR YVOENEL: X X"Fnyyl", gur qrcnegzrag'f arj vasyngnoyr qbyy, vf ninvynoyr ba n X Xfubeg-grez erzbiny onfvf bayl -- cyrnfr fvta ure bhg naq erghea ure X*************** X*** 1076,1085 **** X X X X(p) Fubj uvz jub'f va pbzznaq; cebzcgyl gnxr n yrnx va uvf "Va" X X onfxrg. X! END_OF_obscene.r13.ab X! echo shar: 14 control characters may be missing from \"obscene.r13.ab\" X! if test 36246 -ne `wc -c <obscene.r13.ab`; then X! echo shar: \"obscene.r13.ab\" unpacked with wrong size! X fi X # end of overwriting check X fi X--- 1076,1085 ---- X X X X(p) Fubj uvz jub'f va pbzznaq; cebzcgyl gnxr n yrnx va uvf "Va" X X onfxrg. X! END_OF_Part04 X! echo shar: 14 control characters may be missing from \"$ob_file\" X! if test 36246 -ne `wc -c <$ob_file`; then X! echo shar: \"$ob_file\" unpacked with wrong size! X fi X # end of overwriting check X fi END_OF_SharFix if test 2666 -ne `wc -c <SharFix`; then echo shar: \"SharFix\" unpacked with wrong size! fi # end of overwriting check fi if test -f CtlFix.sh -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"CtlFix.sh\" else echo shar: Extracting \"CtlFix.sh\" \(47464 characters\) sed "s/^X//" >CtlFix.sh <<'END_OF_CtlFix.sh' X#! /bin/sh X: sh script to add back in ctl-G and ctl-H characters X: XPATH=/bin:/usr/bin:$PATH; export PATH Xecho 's/\^G/'`echo % | tr % '\007'`/g > /tmp/ctl_fix.$$ Xecho 's/\^H/'`echo % | tr % '\010'`/g >> /tmp/ctl_fix.$$ Xsed -f /tmp/ctl_fix.$$ << 'PATCH_EOF' | patch X*** Troff.sed Mon Jun 22 16:05:36 1987 X--- Troff.sed.old Mon Jun 22 15:58:42 1987 X*************** X*** 1,13 **** X /^['.]/s//\\\&&/ X /^%%/s//.&/ X /--/s//\\*-/g X! /_a-squared cos 2(phi)/s//\\fIa\\fP\\u2\\d cos 2\\(*f/ X! /__**\([a-zA-Z]*\)/s//\\fI\1\\fP/g X! /"\(.\)/s//\1\\*:/g X! /`\(.\)/s//\1\\*`/g X! /'\(.\)/s//\1\\*'/g X! /~\(.\)/s//\1\\*~/g X! /\^\(.\)/s//\1\\*^/g X! /,\(.\)/s//\1\\*,/g X! /\(.\)\(.\)/s//\\o_\1\2_/g X! /*/s//\\(bs/g X--- 1,13 ---- X /^['.]/s//\\\&&/ X /^%%/s//.&/ X /--/s//\\*-/g X! /_^Ha-squared cos 2(phi)/s//\\fIa\\fP\\u2\\d cos 2\\(*f/ X! /__*^H^H*\([a-zA-Z]*\)/s//\\fI\1\\fP/g X! /"^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*:/g X! /`^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*`/g X! /'^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*'/g X! /~^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*~/g X! /\^^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*^/g X! /,^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*,/g X! /\(.\)^H\(.\)/s//\\o_\1\2_/g X! /^G^G*/s//\\(bs/g X*** obscene.r13.aa.old Mon Jun 29 13:26:20 1987 X--- obscene.r13.aa Thu May 21 16:52:23 1987 X*************** X*** 360,366 **** X %% X Phaavyvathf vf arkg gb tbqyvarff. X %% X! Qnzzvg, ubj znal gvzrf qb V unir gb gryy lbh? _____SVEFG lbh encr, ____GURA lbh X cvyyntr!! X %% X Qrne Ybeq, bofreir guvf oraqrq xarr X--- 360,366 ---- X %% X Phaavyvathf vf arkg gb tbqyvarff. X %% X! Qnzzvg, ubj znal gvzrf qb V unir gb gryy lbh? _^HS_^HV_^HE_^HF_^HG lbh encr, _^HG_^HU_^HR_^HA lbh X cvyyntr!! X %% X Qrne Ybeq, bofreir guvf oraqrq xarr X*************** X*** 597,603 **** X Qvq lbh unir gb ovgr bss gur guernq?" X %% X Ur jnfa'g zhpu bs na npgbe, ur jnfa'g zhpu bs n Tbireabe -- Uryy, gurl X! _U_N_Q gb znxr uvz Cerfvqrag bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Vg'f gur bayl wbo ur'f X dhnyvsvrq sbe! X -- Zvpunry Pnva X %% X--- 597,603 ---- X Qvq lbh unir gb ovgr bss gur guernq?" X %% X Ur jnfa'g zhpu bs na npgbe, ur jnfa'g zhpu bs n Tbireabe -- Uryy, gurl X! _^HU_^HN_^HQ gb znxr uvz Cerfvqrag bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Vg'f gur bayl wbo ur'f X dhnyvsvrq sbe! X -- Zvpunry Pnva X %% X*************** X*** 680,686 **** X Qnqql'f fher gb frr, X Naq rirelguvat gung onol fnlf, X Zl qnqql'f fher gb gryy. X! Lbh _z_h_f_g unir ernq zl qnqql'f irefr. X V ubcr ur sevrf va Uryy. X -- Btqra Anfu X %% X--- 680,686 ---- X Qnqql'f fher gb frr, X Naq rirelguvat gung onol fnlf, X Zl qnqql'f fher gb gryy. X! Lbh _^Hz_^Hh_^Hf_^Hg unir ernq zl qnqql'f irefr. X V ubcr ur sevrf va Uryy. X -- Btqra Anfu X %% X*************** X*** 779,785 **** X %% X Vs gur Nzrevpna qernz vf sbe Nzrevpnaf bayl, vg jvyy erznva bhe qernz X naq arire or bhe qrfgval. X! -- Era'r qr Ivfzr Jvyyvnzfba X %% X Vs lbh pna oryvrir gra vzcbffvoyr guvatf orsber oernxsnfg, gura lbh X fubhyq wbva X--- 779,785 ---- X %% X Vs gur Nzrevpna qernz vf sbe Nzrevpnaf bayl, vg jvyy erznva bhe qernz X naq arire or bhe qrfgval. X! -- Era'^Hr qr Ivfzr Jvyyvnzfba X %% X Vs lbh pna oryvrir gra vzcbffvoyr guvatf orsber oernxsnfg, gura lbh X fubhyq wbva X*************** X*** 867,874 **** X Xnfun, a.: X Xnfun vf nyjnlf qrsvarq nf "ohpxjurng tebngf". Gurer'f bayl X bar ceboyrz jvgu guvf qrsvavgvba: jung gur shpx ner "ohpxjurng X! tebngf"? *_V* xabj jung gurl ner -- gurl'er xnfun. Ohg gung X! qbrfa'g uryc *___lbh* zhpu. X -- Neguhe Anvzna, "Rirel Tbl'f Thvqr gb Lvqqvfu" X %% X Xvyy n pbzzvr sbe Puevfg! X--- 867,874 ---- X Xnfun, a.: X Xnfun vf nyjnlf qrsvarq nf "ohpxjurng tebngf". Gurer'f bayl X bar ceboyrz jvgu guvf qrsvavgvba: jung gur shpx ner "ohpxjurng X! tebngf"? *_^HV* xabj jung gurl ner -- gurl'er xnfun. Ohg gung X! qbrfa'g uryc *_^Hl_^Hb_^Hh* zhpu. X -- Neguhe Anvzna, "Rirel Tbl'f Thvqr gb Lvqqvfu" X %% X Xvyy n pbzzvr sbe Puevfg! X*** obscene.r13.ab.old Mon Jun 29 13:26:33 1987 X--- obscene.r13.ab Thu May 21 16:52:37 1987 X*************** X*** 206,212 **** X -- Zef. Olear'f Qvpgvbanel bs Hahfhny, Bofpher & X Cercbfgrebhf Jbeqf X %% X! Erntna pna'g _n_p_g rvgure X %% X Erzrzore jura lbh jrer n xvq naq gur oblf qvqa'g yvxr gur tveyf? Bayl X fvffvrf yvxrq tveyf? Jung V'z gelvat gb gryy lbh vf gung abguvat'f X--- 206,212 ---- X -- Zef. Olear'f Qvpgvbanel bs Hahfhny, Bofpher & X Cercbfgrebhf Jbeqf X %% X! Erntna pna'g _^Hn_^Hp_^Hg rvgure X %% X Erzrzore jura lbh jrer n xvq naq gur oblf qvqa'g yvxr gur tveyf? Bayl X fvffvrf yvxrq tveyf? Jung V'z gelvat gb gryy lbh vf gung abguvat'f X*************** X*** 257,269 **** X %% X Fnvq Rvafgrva, "V unir na rdhngvba X Juvpu gb fbzr znl frrz enorynvfvna: X! Yrg _I or ivetvavgl X Nccebnpuvat vasvavgl; X! Yrg _C or n pbafgnag crefhnfvba; X X! "Yrg _I bire _C or vairegrq X! Jvgu gur fdhner ebbg bs _Z_h vafregrq X! _A gvzrf vagb _I ... X Gur erfhyg, D.R.Q., X Vf n eryngvir!" Rvafgrva nffregrq. X %% X--- 257,269 ---- X %% X Fnvq Rvafgrva, "V unir na rdhngvba X Juvpu gb fbzr znl frrz enorynvfvna: X! Yrg _^HI or ivetvavgl X Nccebnpuvat vasvavgl; X! Yrg _^HC or n pbafgnag crefhnfvba; X X! "Yrg _^HI bire _^HC or vairegrq X! Jvgu gur fdhner ebbg bs _^HZ_^Hh vafregrq X! _^HA gvzrf vagb _^HI ... X Gur erfhyg, D.R.Q., X Vf n eryngvir!" Rvafgrva nffregrq. X %% X*************** X*** 896,902 **** X Jul zneel n ivetva? Vs fur jnfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe gur erfg bs gurz X gura fur vfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe lbh. X %% X! Jbzra Havgr! Znxr *___uvz* fyrrc va gur jrg fcbg gbavtug! X %% X Jbzra jub jnag gb or rdhny gb zra ynpx vzntvangvba X -- Tenssvgb va n jbzra'f erfgebbz X--- 896,902 ---- X Jul zneel n ivetva? Vs fur jnfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe gur erfg bs gurz X gura fur vfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe lbh. X %% X! Jbzra Havgr! Znxr *_^Hu_^Hv_^Hz* fyrrc va gur jrg fcbg gbavtug! X %% X Jbzra jub jnag gb or rdhny gb zra ynpx vzntvangvba X -- Tenssvgb va n jbzra'f erfgebbz X*** scene.aa Mon Jun 22 16:05:42 1987 X--- scene.aa.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:40 1987 X*************** X*** 229,235 **** X Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into X the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too". X %% X! A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano ... X %% X A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing X about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their X--- 229,235 ---- X Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into X the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too". X %% X! A diva who specializes in risqu'^He arias is an off-coloratura soprano ... X %% X A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing X about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their X*************** X*** 294,300 **** X %% X A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident. X A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident. X! But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *____that ___had __to ____mean _________something*. X -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers" X %% X A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort X--- 294,300 ---- X %% X A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident. X A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident. X! But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *_^H_^H_^H_^Hthat _^H_^H_^Hhad _^H_^Hto _^H_^H_^H_^Hmean _^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^Hsomething*. X -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers" X %% X A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort X*************** X*** 717,723 **** X A.A.A.A.A.: X An organization for drunks who drive X %% X! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!! X You brute! Knock before entering a ladies room! X %% X Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. X--- 717,723 ---- X A.A.A.A.A.: X An organization for drunks who drive X %% X! ^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^GAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!^G X You brute! Knock before entering a ladies room! X %% X Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. X*************** X*** 1069,1075 **** X And all the coders merely butchers; X They have their exits and their entrails; X And one int in his time plays many widths, X! His sizeof being _N bytes. At first the infant, X Mewling and puking in the Regent's arms. X And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun, X And shining morning face, creeping like slug X--- 1069,1075 ---- X And all the coders merely butchers; X They have their exits and their entrails; X And one int in his time plays many widths, X! His sizeof being _^HN bytes. At first the infant, X Mewling and puking in the Regent's arms. X And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun, X And shining morning face, creeping like slug X*** scene.ab Mon Jun 22 16:05:45 1987 X--- scene.ab.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:46 1987 X*************** X*** 87,93 **** X Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but X television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom X and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that X! offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher breath. X -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly X Do" X %% X--- 87,93 ---- X Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but X television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom X and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that X! offers whiter teeth *___^H^H^Hand* fresher breath. X -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly X Do" X %% X*************** X*** 460,466 **** X ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand. X -- J. B. White X %% X! "At least they're ___________EXPERIENCED incompetents" X %% X At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his X thumb with a hammer. X--- 460,466 ---- X ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand. X -- J. B. White X %% X! "At least they're ___________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HEXPERIENCED incompetents" X %% X At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his X thumb with a hammer. X*************** X*** 1052,1058 **** X fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are X often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people X from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B X! that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____there. They often X wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell X they wanted to be. X -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" X--- 1052,1058 ---- X fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are X often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people X from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B X! that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____^H^H^H^H^Hthere. They often X wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell X they wanted to be. X -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" X*************** X*** 1180,1186 **** X If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way X And rescue my psyche from quantum decay. X But if this queer thing has perplexed even you, X! Then I will *___and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo. X -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium X of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams X %% X--- 1180,1186 ---- X If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way X And rescue my psyche from quantum decay. X But if this queer thing has perplexed even you, X! Then I will *___^H^H^Hand* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo. X -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium X of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams X %% X*** scene.ac Mon Jun 22 16:05:47 1987 X--- scene.ac.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:51 1987 X*************** X*** 48,54 **** X %% X Cleanliness is next to impossible. X %% X! Cleveland still lives. God ____must be dead. X %% X "Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day." X %% X--- 48,54 ---- X %% X Cleanliness is next to impossible. X %% X! Cleveland still lives. God ____^H^H^H^Hmust be dead. X %% X "Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day." X %% X*************** X*** 110,116 **** X %% X Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, X Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, X! Their indices bedecked from one to _n, X Commingled in an endless Markov chain! X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X--- 110,116 ---- X %% X Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, X Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, X! Their indices bedecked from one to _^Hn, X Commingled in an endless Markov chain! X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X*************** X*** 181,187 **** X Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than X $25,000. X %% X! ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this X business, it probably would be gibberish. X -- Thom McLeod X %% X--- 181,187 ---- X Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than X $25,000. X %% X! ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___^H^H^Hdid* quote anybody in this X business, it probably would be gibberish. X -- Thom McLeod X %% X*************** X*** 322,328 **** X improve. X %% X Dear Lord: X! I just want *___one* one-armed manager so I never have to hear "On X the other hand", again. X %% X Dear Miss Manners: X--- 322,328 ---- X improve. X %% X Dear Lord: X! I just want *___^H^H^Hone* one-armed manager so I never have to hear "On X the other hand", again. X %% X Dear Miss Manners: X*************** X*** 744,750 **** X The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front X of your eyes. X %% X! Drink Canada Dry! You might not succeed, but it *__is* fun trying. X %% X Drive defensively. Buy a tank. X %% X--- 744,750 ---- X The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front X of your eyes. X %% X! Drink Canada Dry! You might not succeed, but it *__^H^His* fun trying. X %% X Drive defensively. Buy a tank. X %% X*************** X*** 776,782 **** X shot at mine, over there." X %% X During the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several X! times, often with lin~po_~{po ~poz~ppo\~{ o n~po_~{o[po ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po\~{o X %% X "Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have X nothing whatever to do with it." X--- 776,782 ---- X shot at mine, over there." X %% X During the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several X! times, often with lin~po_~{po ~poz~ppo\~{ o n~po_^G~{o[po ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_^G~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po\~{o X %% X "Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have X nothing whatever to do with it." X*************** X*** 918,925 **** X %% X Es brilig war. Die schlichte Toven X Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben; X! Und aller-m"umsige Burggoven X! Dir mohmen R"ath ausgraben. X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass" X %% X Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. X--- 918,925 ---- X %% X Es brilig war. Die schlichte Toven X Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben; X! Und aller-m"^Humsige Burggoven X! Dir mohmen R"^Hath ausgraben. X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass" X %% X Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. X*************** X*** 1024,1030 **** X Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. X %% X Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be X! taught how ___not to. So it is with the great programmers. X %% X Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to X realize it. X--- 1024,1030 ---- X Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. X %% X Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be X! taught how ___^H^H^Hnot to. So it is with the great programmers. X %% X Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to X realize it. X*************** X*** 1032,1038 **** X Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic X formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the X scientific mind. The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact X! wholly unconcerned with what ____does exist. Indeed, the banality of X existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to X discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the X problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the X--- 1032,1038 ---- X Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic X formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the X scientific mind. The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact X! wholly unconcerned with what ____^H^H^H^Hdoes exist. Indeed, the banality of X existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to X discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the X problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the X*************** X*** 1041,1047 **** X different way ... X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X! Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____does anything about it. X %% X Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, X no one we know belongs. X--- 1041,1047 ---- X different way ... X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X! Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____^H^H^H^Hdoes anything about it. X %% X Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, X no one we know belongs. X*** scene.ad Mon Jun 22 16:05:50 1987 X--- scene.ad.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:58 1987 X*************** X*** 75,81 **** X -- Robert Firth X %% X Flappity, floppity, flip X! The mouse on the m"obius strip; X The strip revolved, X The mouse dissolved X In a chronodimensional skip. X--- 75,81 ---- X -- Robert Firth X %% X Flappity, floppity, flip X! The mouse on the m"^Hobius strip; X The strip revolved, X The mouse dissolved X In a chronodimensional skip. X*************** X*** 775,785 **** X Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks. X %% X Gray's Law of Programming: X! `_n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same X! time as `_n' tasks. X X Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: X! `_n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `_n' trivial tasks. X %% X Great minds run in great circles. X %% X--- 775,785 ---- X Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks. X %% X Gray's Law of Programming: X! `_^Hn+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same X! time as `_^Hn' tasks. X X Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: X! `_^Hn+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `_^Hn' trivial tasks. X %% X Great minds run in great circles. X %% X*************** X*** 1069,1075 **** X "He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..." X %% X HE: Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains to science. X! SHE: What?!? Science got enough trouble with their ___OWN brains. X -- Walt Kelley X %% X Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. X--- 1069,1075 ---- X "He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..." X %% X HE: Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains to science. X! SHE: What?!? Science got enough trouble with their ___^H^H^HOWN brains. X -- Walt Kelley X %% X Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. X*************** X*** 1147,1158 **** X %% X Here in my heart, I am Helen; X I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least. X! I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Sta"el; X I'm Salome, moon of the East. X X Here in my soul I am Sappho; X Lady Hamilton am I, as well. X! In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea, X With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell. X X I'm all of the glamorous ladies X--- 1147,1158 ---- X %% X Here in my heart, I am Helen; X I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least. X! I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Sta"^Hel; X I'm Salome, moon of the East. X X Here in my soul I am Sappho; X Lady Hamilton am I, as well. X! In me R'^Hecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea, X With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell. X X I'm all of the glamorous ladies X*** scene.ae Mon Jun 22 16:05:52 1987 X--- scene.ae.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:03 1987 X*************** X*** 422,428 **** X %% X "I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?" X %% X! "I don't think so," said Ren'e Descartes. Just then, he vanished. X %% X "I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital. On the other X hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out." X--- 422,428 ---- X %% X "I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?" X %% X! "I don't think so," said Ren'^He Descartes. Just then, he vanished. X %% X "I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital. On the other X hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out." X*************** X*** 463,469 **** X %% X "I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words." X %% X! I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *__________horrifying* 20 X minutes of my life! X %% X 'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." X--- 463,469 ---- X %% X "I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words." X %% X! I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *__________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hhorrifying* 20 X minutes of my life! X %% X 'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." X*************** X*** 543,549 **** X -- Blaise Pascal X %% X I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole X! ____BODY! X -- from "Cerebus" #82 X %% X "I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer." X--- 543,549 ---- X -- Blaise Pascal X %% X I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole X! ____^H^H^H^HBODY! X -- from "Cerebus" #82 X %% X "I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer." X*************** X*** 670,676 **** X I see the eigenvalue in thine eye, X I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh. X Bernoulli would have been content to die X! Had he but known such _a-squared cos 2(phi)! X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X I sent a letter to the fish, X--- 670,676 ---- X I see the eigenvalue in thine eye, X I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh. X Bernoulli would have been content to die X! Had he but known such _^Ha-squared cos 2(phi)! X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad" X %% X I sent a letter to the fish, X*************** X*** 976,982 **** X %% X I'm rated PG-34!! X %% X! "I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____REAL X soon ..." X %% X "I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it X--- 976,982 ---- X %% X I'm rated PG-34!! X %% X! "I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____^H^H^H^HREAL X soon ..." X %% X "I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it X*************** X*** 1068,1078 **** X forecast is a camel's behind. X -- Edgar R. Fiedler X %% X! If A equals success, then the formula is _A = _X + _Y + _Z. _X is work. _Y X! is play. _Z is keep your mouth shut. X -- Albert Einstein X %% X! If a group of _N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be _N-1 X passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager. X -- T. Cheatham X %% X--- 1068,1078 ---- X forecast is a camel's behind. X -- Edgar R. Fiedler X %% X! If A equals success, then the formula is _^HA = _^HX + _^HY + _^HZ. _^HX is work. _^HY X! is play. _^HZ is keep your mouth shut. X -- Albert Einstein X %% X! If a group of _^HN persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be _^HN-1 X passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager. X -- T. Cheatham X %% X*** scene.af Mon Jun 22 16:05:54 1987 X--- scene.af.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:09 1987 X*************** X*** 294,303 **** X door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!" X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" X %% X! Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux X Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave, X! Enm^im'es sont les gougebosquex, X! Et le m^omerade horgrave. X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass" X %% X Iles's Law: X--- 294,303 ---- X door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!" X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" X %% X! Il brilgue: les t^^Hoves libricilleux X Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave, X! Enm^^Him'^Hes sont les gougebosquex, X! Et le m^^Homerade horgrave. X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass" X %% X Iles's Law: X*************** X*** 494,500 **** X In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way. X -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982 X %% X! "In short, _N is Richardian if, and only if, _N is not Richardian." X %% X In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's. X %% X--- 494,500 ---- X In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way. X -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982 X %% X! "In short, _^HN is Richardian if, and only if, _^HN is not Richardian." X %% X In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's. X %% X*************** X*** 513,519 **** X X So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in X Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost X! ___see the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and X rolled back. X -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" X %% X--- 513,519 ---- X X So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in X Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost X! ___^H^H^Hsee the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and X rolled back. X -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" X %% X*************** X*** 684,690 **** X -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" X %% X It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself X! that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that X one can learn." X -- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman X %% X--- 684,690 ---- X -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" X %% X It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself X! that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____^H^H^H^Honly* by amusing oneself that X one can learn." X -- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman X %% X*************** X*** 866,872 **** X It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a X warning to others. X %% X! "It runs like _x, where _x is something unsavory" X -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435 X %% X It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the X--- 866,872 ---- X It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a X warning to others. X %% X! "It runs like _^Hx, where _^Hx is something unsavory" X -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435 X %% X It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the X*************** X*** 938,944 **** X "It means summon's in trouble." X -- Rocky and Bullwinkle X %% X! It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead. X -- Churchy La Femme X %% X It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black. X--- 938,944 ---- X "It means summon's in trouble." X -- Rocky and Bullwinkle X %% X! It's a very *__^H^HUN*lucky week in which to be took dead. X -- Churchy La Femme X %% X It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black. X*************** X*** 1206,1212 **** X Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, X and parking for the faculty. X %% X! Kids have *_____never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could X travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the X original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate X teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for X--- 1206,1212 ---- X Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, X and parking for the faculty. X %% X! Kids have *_____^H^H^H^H^Hnever* taken guidance from their parents. If you could X travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the X original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate X teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for X*** scene.ag Mon Jun 22 16:05:57 1987 X--- scene.ag.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:15 1987 X*************** X*** 257,263 **** X Lizzie Borden took an axe, X And plunged it deep into the VAX; X Don't you envy people who X! Do all the things ___YOU want to do? X %% X Loan-department manager: "There isn't any fine print. At these X interest rates, we don't need it." X--- 257,263 ---- X Lizzie Borden took an axe, X And plunged it deep into the VAX; X Don't you envy people who X! Do all the things ___^H^H^HYOU want to do? X %% X Loan-department manager: "There isn't any fine print. At these X interest rates, we don't need it." X*************** X*** 284,290 **** X The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street aren't X one in a million, but once would be enough. X %% X! Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *_____awful*. X %% X ... Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and X legally ... impeccable! X--- 284,290 ---- X The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street aren't X one in a million, but once would be enough. X %% X! Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *_____^H^H^H^H^Hawful*. X %% X ... Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and X legally ... impeccable! X*************** X*** 295,301 **** X But let them prove it if they can. X -- Oliver Goldsmith X %% X! Look out! Behind you! X %% X Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us X to pay income taxes, too? X--- 295,301 ---- X But let them prove it if they can. X -- Oliver Goldsmith X %% X! Look out! Behind you!^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G X %% X Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us X to pay income taxes, too? X*************** X*** 447,453 **** X X Man 2: OK, what is the most impo--- X X! Man 1: ______TIMING! X %% X "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." X -- Lily Tomlin X--- 447,453 ---- X X Man 2: OK, what is the most impo--- X X! Man 1: ______^H^H^H^H^H^HTIMING! X %% X "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." X -- Lily Tomlin X*** scene.ah Mon Jun 22 16:05:59 1987 X--- scene.ah.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:23 1987 X*************** X*** 167,173 **** X O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: X Murphy was an optimist. X %% X! "Of ______course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a X fake?" X %% X Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the X--- 167,173 ---- X O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: X Murphy was an optimist. X %% X! "Of ______^H^H^H^H^H^Hcourse it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a X fake?" X %% X Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the X*************** X*** 460,466 **** X -- Will Durant X %% X One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: "Why did God X! create goyim?" The generally accepted answer is "________somebody has to buy X retail." X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish" X %% X--- 460,466 ---- X -- Will Durant X %% X One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: "Why did God X! create goyim?" The generally accepted answer is "________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hsomebody has to buy X retail." X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish" X %% X*************** X*** 587,593 **** X Our documentation manager was showing her 2 year old son around the X office. He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we X were both holding bags of popcorn. We were both holding bottles of X! juice. But only *__he* had a lollipop. X X He asked his mother, "Why doesn't HE have a lollipop?" X X--- 587,593 ---- X Our documentation manager was showing her 2 year old son around the X office. He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we X were both holding bags of popcorn. We were both holding bottles of X! juice. But only *_^H_^Hhe* had a lollipop. X X He asked his mother, "Why doesn't HE have a lollipop?" X X*************** X*** 970,976 **** X The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of X laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for X hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron X! Hans Neizant B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653. X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" X %% X Portable, adj.: X--- 970,976 ---- X The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of X laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for X hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron X! Hans Neizant B"^Hompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"^Holn in 1653. X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" X %% X Portable, adj.: X*************** X*** 1033,1049 **** X %% X Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction. X X! This technique is used on equations with "_n" in them. Induction X techniques are very popular, even the military used them. X X SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction. X X! We know it's true for _n equal to 1. Now assume that it's true X! for every natural number less than _n. _N is arbitrary, so we can take _n X! as large as we want. If _n is sufficiently large, the case of _n+1 is X! trivially equivalent, so the only important _n are _n less than _n. We X! can take _n = _n (from above), so it's true for _n+1 because it's just X! about _n. X QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?") X %% X Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity. X--- 1033,1049 ---- X %% X Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction. X X! This technique is used on equations with "_^Hn" in them. Induction X techniques are very popular, even the military used them. X X SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction. X X! We know it's true for _^Hn equal to 1. Now assume that it's true X! for every natural number less than _^Hn. _^HN is arbitrary, so we can take _^Hn X! as large as we want. If _^Hn is sufficiently large, the case of _^Hn+1 is X! trivially equivalent, so the only important _^Hn are _^Hn less than _^Hn. We X! can take _^Hn = _^Hn (from above), so it's true for _^Hn+1 because it's just X! about _^Hn. X QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?") X %% X Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity. X*************** X*** 1061,1067 **** X "Try it; it works" X Constipation (I was just sitting there and ...) X Blatant assertion X! Changing all the 2's to _n's X Mutual consent X Lack of a counterexample, and X "It stands to reason" X--- 1061,1067 ---- X "Try it; it works" X Constipation (I was just sitting there and ...) X Blatant assertion X! Changing all the 2's to _^Hn's X Mutual consent X Lack of a counterexample, and X "It stands to reason" X*** scene.ai Mon Jun 22 16:06:02 1987 X--- scene.ai.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:29 1987 X*************** X*** 73,79 **** X Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and X greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any X moment. They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that X! systems could be virtual at *___all* levels. They would like personal X computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your X DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their X Correctness Verification Aid packages. X--- 73,79 ---- X Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and X greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any X moment. They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that X! systems could be virtual at *___^H^H^Hall* levels. They would like personal X computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your X DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their X Correctness Verification Aid packages. X*************** X*** 433,439 **** X Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made X of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts X is not necessarily science. X! -- Henri Poincair'e X %% X Science is what happens when preconception meets verification. X %% X--- 433,439 ---- X Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made X of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts X is not necessarily science. X! -- Henri Poincair'^He X %% X Science is what happens when preconception meets verification. X %% X*************** X*** 490,496 **** X -- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for X Programmable Instrumentation X %% X! Security check: INTRUDER ALERT! X %% X Seduced, shaggy Samson snored. X She scissored short. Sorely shorn, X--- 490,496 ---- X -- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for X Programmable Instrumentation X %% X! Security check: ^G^G^GINTRUDER ALERT! X %% X Seduced, shaggy Samson snored. X She scissored short. Sorely shorn, X*************** X*** 954,960 **** X communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so X on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real X life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't X! communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____least X he can do is to Shut Up! X -- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was" X %% X--- 954,960 ---- X communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so X on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real X life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't X! communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____^H^H^H^H^Hleast X he can do is to Shut Up! X -- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was" X %% X*************** X*** 978,984 **** X wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. X %% X "Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist X! drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'ee of bat guano; and the X greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll X take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!" X -- Harlan Ellison X--- 978,984 ---- X wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. X %% X "Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist X! drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'^Hee of bat guano; and the X greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll X take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!" X -- Harlan Ellison X*** scene.aj Mon Jun 22 16:06:05 1987 X--- scene.aj.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:43 1987 X*************** X*** 183,190 **** X "Kool-Aid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. X Pumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. X Instant potatoes -- goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish. X! Macaroons are ____very Jewish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is X! goyish. Lime soda is ____very goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that X Jews won't go near them ..." X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish" X %% X--- 183,190 ---- X "Kool-Aid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. X Pumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. X Instant potatoes -- goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish. X! Macaroons are ____^H^H^H^Hvery Jewish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is X! goyish. Lime soda is ____^H^H^H^Hvery goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that X Jews won't go near them ..." X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish" X %% X*************** X*** 363,369 **** X to be good. X %% X The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of X! statistics. These are raised to the _nth degree, the cube roots are X extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive X displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every X case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts X--- 363,369 ---- X to be good. X %% X The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of X! statistics. These are raised to the _^Hnth degree, the cube roots are X extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive X displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every X case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts X*************** X*** 1119,1126 **** X heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to X the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much X heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for X! radiation, (_H/_E)^4 = 50, where _E is the absolute temperature of the X! earth (-300K), gives _H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell X cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the X fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which X burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means X--- 1119,1126 ---- X heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to X the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much X heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for X! radiation, (_^HH/_^HE)^4 = 50, where _^HE is the absolute temperature of the X! earth (-300K), gives _^HH as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell X cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the X fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which X burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means X*** scene.ak Mon Jun 22 16:06:07 1987 X--- scene.ak.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:50 1987 X*************** X*** 28,34 **** X Someone dropped me on my head? X -- Dorothy Parker X %% X! There *__is* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday. X %% X There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, X and praiseworthy ... X--- 28,34 ---- X Someone dropped me on my head? X -- Dorothy Parker X %% X! There *__^H^His* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday. X %% X There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, X and praiseworthy ... X*************** X*** 60,66 **** X every other person you meet with that name will be Jewish. Why is X this? X Who knows? Learned rabbis have pondered this question for X! centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think ___you X can find one? Get serious. You don't even understand why it's X forbidden to eat crab -- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise -- or lobster X -- soft tender morsels of lobster dipped in melted butter. You don't X--- 60,66 ---- X every other person you meet with that name will be Jewish. Why is X this? X Who knows? Learned rabbis have pondered this question for X! centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think ___^H^H^Hyou X can find one? Get serious. You don't even understand why it's X forbidden to eat crab -- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise -- or lobster X -- soft tender morsels of lobster dipped in melted butter. You don't X*************** X*** 420,426 **** X This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14 X %% X This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need, X! please use the program "________randchar". This program generates random X characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with X something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be X more profound than THIS program has ever been. X--- 420,426 ---- X This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14 X %% X This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need, X! please use the program "________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hrandchar". This program generates random X characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with X something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be X more profound than THIS program has ever been. X*************** X*** 489,495 **** X Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or X more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug .... X %% X! This is the ____LAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury! X %% X This is the first numerical problem I ever did. It demonstrates the X power of computers: X--- 489,495 ---- X Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or X more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug .... X %% X! This is the ____^H^H^H^HLAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury! X %% X This is the first numerical problem I ever did. It demonstrates the X power of computers: X*************** X*** 755,761 **** X except in major motion pictures." X -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!" X %% X! Toilet Toup'ee, n.: X Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus X creating endless annoyance to male users. X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" X--- 755,761 ---- X except in major motion pictures." X -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!" X %% X! Toilet Toup'^Hee, n.: X Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus X creating endless annoyance to male users. X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets" X*************** X*** 811,817 **** X Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only X specification is that it should run noiselessly. X %% X! Trying to establish voice contact ... please ____yell into keyboard. X %% X Turnaucka's Law: X The attention span of a computer is only as long as its X--- 811,817 ---- X Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only X specification is that it should run noiselessly. X %% X! Trying to establish voice contact ... please ____^H^H^H^Hyell into keyboard. X %% X Turnaucka's Law: X The attention span of a computer is only as long as its X*************** X*** 1146,1152 **** X fish. X %% X We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the X! hardware, but we can *___see* the blinking lights! X %% X "We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an X hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down X--- 1146,1152 ---- X fish. X %% X We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the X! hardware, but we can *___^H^H^Hsee* the blinking lights! X %% X "We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an X hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down X*** scene.al Mon Jun 22 16:06:10 1987 X--- scene.al.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:56 1987 X*************** X*** 34,40 **** X they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off. X -- President Ronald Reagan, on the MX missile X %% X! "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* X you believe?!" X -- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward] X %% X--- 34,40 ---- X they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off. X -- President Ronald Reagan, on the MX missile X %% X! "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___^H^H^Hcan* X you believe?!" X -- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward] X %% X*************** X*** 369,375 **** X %% X When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, X the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a X! nose bleed, which usually cures them of ____that. X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" X %% X When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is X--- 369,375 ---- X %% X When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, X the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a X! nose bleed, which usually cures them of ____^H^H^H^Hthat. X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac" X %% X When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is Xrm /tmp/ctl_fix.$$ Xexit 0 END_OF_CtlFix.sh if test 47464 -ne `wc -c <CtlFix.sh`; then echo shar: \"CtlFix.sh\" unpacked with wrong size! fi chmod +x CtlFix.sh # end of overwriting check fi if test -f Patchlevel -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"Patchlevel\" else echo shar: Extracting \"Patchlevel\" \(14 characters\) sed "s/^X//" >Patchlevel <<'END_OF_Patchlevel' XPatchlevel: 1 END_OF_Patchlevel if test 14 -ne `wc -c <Patchlevel`; then echo shar: \"Patchlevel\" unpacked with wrong size! fi # end of overwriting check fi echo shar: End of shell archive. exit 0