games-request@tekred.TEK.COM (06/30/87)
Submitted by: Ken Arnold <umix!apollo!arnold>
Comp.sources.games: Volume 1, Issue 64
Archive-name: fortune/Patch1
[This is an official patch for the fortune that was
distributed in comp.sources.games. This patch contains
two major parts. The first part is a repeat of a patch
that was posted to comp.sources.bugs that fixes a
problem with the format of the part3 and 4 shar files.
The second part is a patch to re-insert missing ^G and
^H characters that got stripped out by some mailers.
The first file should be fed directly to patch (i.e.
patch <SharFix); the second is a self-contained shell
script that invokes patch to do its work. -br]
#! /bin/sh
# This is a shell archive. Remove anything before this line, then unpack
# it by saving it into a file and typing "sh file". To overwrite existing
# files, type "sh file -c". You can also feed this as standard input via
# unshar, or by typing "sh <file", e.g.. If this archive is complete, you
# will see the following message at the end:
# "End of shell archive."
# Contents: SharFix CtlFix.sh Patchlevel
# Wrapped by billr@tekred on Mon Jun 29 16:06:09 1987
PATH=/bin:/usr/bin:/usr/ucb ; export PATH
if test -f SharFix -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then
echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"SharFix\"
else
echo shar: Extracting \"SharFix\" \(2666 characters\)
sed "s/^X//" >SharFix <<'END_OF_SharFix'
X*** Part03.orig Mon Jun 1 09:09:12 1987
X--- Part03 Mon Jun 1 10:16:36 1987
X***************
X*** 108,114 ****
X then
X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file"
X else
X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_$ob_file | $ob_com > $ob_file
X X71:
X X 69 jvgu gjb svatref hc lbhe nff.
X X -- Trbetr Pneyva
X--- 108,114 ----
X then
X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file"
X else
X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_Part03 | $ob_com > $ob_file
X X71:
X X 69 jvgu gjb svatref hc lbhe nff.
X X -- Trbetr Pneyva
X***************
X*** 1077,1086 ****
X XAnapl Erntna jnagf qvibepr byq Eba ... frrzf ur'f znxvat vg uneq sbe
X Xrirelbar ohg ure.
X X%%
X! END_OF_obscene.r13.aa
X! echo shar: 21 control characters may be missing from \"obscene.r13.aa\"
X! if test 34205 -ne `wc -c <obscene.r13.aa`; then
X! echo shar: \"obscene.r13.aa\" unpacked with wrong size!
X fi
X # end of overwriting check
X fi
X--- 1077,1086 ----
X XAnapl Erntna jnagf qvibepr byq Eba ... frrzf ur'f znxvat vg uneq sbe
X Xrirelbar ohg ure.
X X%%
X! END_OF_Part03
X! echo shar: 21 control characters may be missing from \"$ob_file\"
X! if test 34205 -ne `wc -c <$ob_file`; then
X! echo shar: \"$ob_file\" unpacked with wrong size!
X fi
X # end of overwriting check
X fi
X*** Part04.orig Mon Jun 1 09:09:18 1987
X--- Part04 Mon Jun 1 10:17:26 1987
X***************
X*** 108,114 ****
X then
X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file"
X else
X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_$ob_file | $ob_com > $ob_file
X X ARJ NQQVGVBA GB GUR YVOENEL:
X X"Fnyyl", gur qrcnegzrag'f arj vasyngnoyr qbyy, vf ninvynoyr ba n
X Xfubeg-grez erzbiny onfvf bayl -- cyrnfr fvta ure bhg naq erghea ure
X--- 108,114 ----
X then
X echo shar: "will not over-write existing file $ob_file"
X else
X! sed 's/^X//' << \END_OF_Part04 | $ob_com > $ob_file
X X ARJ NQQVGVBA GB GUR YVOENEL:
X X"Fnyyl", gur qrcnegzrag'f arj vasyngnoyr qbyy, vf ninvynoyr ba n
X Xfubeg-grez erzbiny onfvf bayl -- cyrnfr fvta ure bhg naq erghea ure
X***************
X*** 1076,1085 ****
X X
X X(p) Fubj uvz jub'f va pbzznaq; cebzcgyl gnxr n yrnx va uvf "Va"
X X onfxrg.
X! END_OF_obscene.r13.ab
X! echo shar: 14 control characters may be missing from \"obscene.r13.ab\"
X! if test 36246 -ne `wc -c <obscene.r13.ab`; then
X! echo shar: \"obscene.r13.ab\" unpacked with wrong size!
X fi
X # end of overwriting check
X fi
X--- 1076,1085 ----
X X
X X(p) Fubj uvz jub'f va pbzznaq; cebzcgyl gnxr n yrnx va uvf "Va"
X X onfxrg.
X! END_OF_Part04
X! echo shar: 14 control characters may be missing from \"$ob_file\"
X! if test 36246 -ne `wc -c <$ob_file`; then
X! echo shar: \"$ob_file\" unpacked with wrong size!
X fi
X # end of overwriting check
X fi
END_OF_SharFix
if test 2666 -ne `wc -c <SharFix`; then
echo shar: \"SharFix\" unpacked with wrong size!
fi
# end of overwriting check
fi
if test -f CtlFix.sh -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then
echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"CtlFix.sh\"
else
echo shar: Extracting \"CtlFix.sh\" \(47464 characters\)
sed "s/^X//" >CtlFix.sh <<'END_OF_CtlFix.sh'
X#! /bin/sh
X: sh script to add back in ctl-G and ctl-H characters
X:
XPATH=/bin:/usr/bin:$PATH; export PATH
Xecho 's/\^G/'`echo % | tr % '\007'`/g > /tmp/ctl_fix.$$
Xecho 's/\^H/'`echo % | tr % '\010'`/g >> /tmp/ctl_fix.$$
Xsed -f /tmp/ctl_fix.$$ << 'PATCH_EOF' | patch
X*** Troff.sed Mon Jun 22 16:05:36 1987
X--- Troff.sed.old Mon Jun 22 15:58:42 1987
X***************
X*** 1,13 ****
X /^['.]/s//\\\&&/
X /^%%/s//.&/
X /--/s//\\*-/g
X! /_a-squared cos 2(phi)/s//\\fIa\\fP\\u2\\d cos 2\\(*f/
X! /__**\([a-zA-Z]*\)/s//\\fI\1\\fP/g
X! /"\(.\)/s//\1\\*:/g
X! /`\(.\)/s//\1\\*`/g
X! /'\(.\)/s//\1\\*'/g
X! /~\(.\)/s//\1\\*~/g
X! /\^\(.\)/s//\1\\*^/g
X! /,\(.\)/s//\1\\*,/g
X! /\(.\)\(.\)/s//\\o_\1\2_/g
X! /*/s//\\(bs/g
X--- 1,13 ----
X /^['.]/s//\\\&&/
X /^%%/s//.&/
X /--/s//\\*-/g
X! /_^Ha-squared cos 2(phi)/s//\\fIa\\fP\\u2\\d cos 2\\(*f/
X! /__*^H^H*\([a-zA-Z]*\)/s//\\fI\1\\fP/g
X! /"^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*:/g
X! /`^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*`/g
X! /'^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*'/g
X! /~^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*~/g
X! /\^^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*^/g
X! /,^H\(.\)/s//\1\\*,/g
X! /\(.\)^H\(.\)/s//\\o_\1\2_/g
X! /^G^G*/s//\\(bs/g
X*** obscene.r13.aa.old Mon Jun 29 13:26:20 1987
X--- obscene.r13.aa Thu May 21 16:52:23 1987
X***************
X*** 360,366 ****
X %%
X Phaavyvathf vf arkg gb tbqyvarff.
X %%
X! Qnzzvg, ubj znal gvzrf qb V unir gb gryy lbh? _____SVEFG lbh encr, ____GURA lbh
X cvyyntr!!
X %%
X Qrne Ybeq, bofreir guvf oraqrq xarr
X--- 360,366 ----
X %%
X Phaavyvathf vf arkg gb tbqyvarff.
X %%
X! Qnzzvg, ubj znal gvzrf qb V unir gb gryy lbh? _^HS_^HV_^HE_^HF_^HG lbh encr, _^HG_^HU_^HR_^HA lbh
X cvyyntr!!
X %%
X Qrne Ybeq, bofreir guvf oraqrq xarr
X***************
X*** 597,603 ****
X Qvq lbh unir gb ovgr bss gur guernq?"
X %%
X Ur jnfa'g zhpu bs na npgbe, ur jnfa'g zhpu bs n Tbireabe -- Uryy, gurl
X! _U_N_Q gb znxr uvz Cerfvqrag bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Vg'f gur bayl wbo ur'f
X dhnyvsvrq sbe!
X -- Zvpunry Pnva
X %%
X--- 597,603 ----
X Qvq lbh unir gb ovgr bss gur guernq?"
X %%
X Ur jnfa'g zhpu bs na npgbe, ur jnfa'g zhpu bs n Tbireabe -- Uryy, gurl
X! _^HU_^HN_^HQ gb znxr uvz Cerfvqrag bs gur Havgrq Fgngrf. Vg'f gur bayl wbo ur'f
X dhnyvsvrq sbe!
X -- Zvpunry Pnva
X %%
X***************
X*** 680,686 ****
X Qnqql'f fher gb frr,
X Naq rirelguvat gung onol fnlf,
X Zl qnqql'f fher gb gryy.
X! Lbh _z_h_f_g unir ernq zl qnqql'f irefr.
X V ubcr ur sevrf va Uryy.
X -- Btqra Anfu
X %%
X--- 680,686 ----
X Qnqql'f fher gb frr,
X Naq rirelguvat gung onol fnlf,
X Zl qnqql'f fher gb gryy.
X! Lbh _^Hz_^Hh_^Hf_^Hg unir ernq zl qnqql'f irefr.
X V ubcr ur sevrf va Uryy.
X -- Btqra Anfu
X %%
X***************
X*** 779,785 ****
X %%
X Vs gur Nzrevpna qernz vf sbe Nzrevpnaf bayl, vg jvyy erznva bhe qernz
X naq arire or bhe qrfgval.
X! -- Era'r qr Ivfzr Jvyyvnzfba
X %%
X Vs lbh pna oryvrir gra vzcbffvoyr guvatf orsber oernxsnfg, gura lbh
X fubhyq wbva
X--- 779,785 ----
X %%
X Vs gur Nzrevpna qernz vf sbe Nzrevpnaf bayl, vg jvyy erznva bhe qernz
X naq arire or bhe qrfgval.
X! -- Era'^Hr qr Ivfzr Jvyyvnzfba
X %%
X Vs lbh pna oryvrir gra vzcbffvoyr guvatf orsber oernxsnfg, gura lbh
X fubhyq wbva
X***************
X*** 867,874 ****
X Xnfun, a.:
X Xnfun vf nyjnlf qrsvarq nf "ohpxjurng tebngf". Gurer'f bayl
X bar ceboyrz jvgu guvf qrsvavgvba: jung gur shpx ner "ohpxjurng
X! tebngf"? *_V* xabj jung gurl ner -- gurl'er xnfun. Ohg gung
X! qbrfa'g uryc *___lbh* zhpu.
X -- Neguhe Anvzna, "Rirel Tbl'f Thvqr gb Lvqqvfu"
X %%
X Xvyy n pbzzvr sbe Puevfg!
X--- 867,874 ----
X Xnfun, a.:
X Xnfun vf nyjnlf qrsvarq nf "ohpxjurng tebngf". Gurer'f bayl
X bar ceboyrz jvgu guvf qrsvavgvba: jung gur shpx ner "ohpxjurng
X! tebngf"? *_^HV* xabj jung gurl ner -- gurl'er xnfun. Ohg gung
X! qbrfa'g uryc *_^Hl_^Hb_^Hh* zhpu.
X -- Neguhe Anvzna, "Rirel Tbl'f Thvqr gb Lvqqvfu"
X %%
X Xvyy n pbzzvr sbe Puevfg!
X*** obscene.r13.ab.old Mon Jun 29 13:26:33 1987
X--- obscene.r13.ab Thu May 21 16:52:37 1987
X***************
X*** 206,212 ****
X -- Zef. Olear'f Qvpgvbanel bs Hahfhny, Bofpher &
X Cercbfgrebhf Jbeqf
X %%
X! Erntna pna'g _n_p_g rvgure
X %%
X Erzrzore jura lbh jrer n xvq naq gur oblf qvqa'g yvxr gur tveyf? Bayl
X fvffvrf yvxrq tveyf? Jung V'z gelvat gb gryy lbh vf gung abguvat'f
X--- 206,212 ----
X -- Zef. Olear'f Qvpgvbanel bs Hahfhny, Bofpher &
X Cercbfgrebhf Jbeqf
X %%
X! Erntna pna'g _^Hn_^Hp_^Hg rvgure
X %%
X Erzrzore jura lbh jrer n xvq naq gur oblf qvqa'g yvxr gur tveyf? Bayl
X fvffvrf yvxrq tveyf? Jung V'z gelvat gb gryy lbh vf gung abguvat'f
X***************
X*** 257,269 ****
X %%
X Fnvq Rvafgrva, "V unir na rdhngvba
X Juvpu gb fbzr znl frrz enorynvfvna:
X! Yrg _I or ivetvavgl
X Nccebnpuvat vasvavgl;
X! Yrg _C or n pbafgnag crefhnfvba;
X
X! "Yrg _I bire _C or vairegrq
X! Jvgu gur fdhner ebbg bs _Z_h vafregrq
X! _A gvzrf vagb _I ...
X Gur erfhyg, D.R.Q.,
X Vf n eryngvir!" Rvafgrva nffregrq.
X %%
X--- 257,269 ----
X %%
X Fnvq Rvafgrva, "V unir na rdhngvba
X Juvpu gb fbzr znl frrz enorynvfvna:
X! Yrg _^HI or ivetvavgl
X Nccebnpuvat vasvavgl;
X! Yrg _^HC or n pbafgnag crefhnfvba;
X
X! "Yrg _^HI bire _^HC or vairegrq
X! Jvgu gur fdhner ebbg bs _^HZ_^Hh vafregrq
X! _^HA gvzrf vagb _^HI ...
X Gur erfhyg, D.R.Q.,
X Vf n eryngvir!" Rvafgrva nffregrq.
X %%
X***************
X*** 896,902 ****
X Jul zneel n ivetva? Vs fur jnfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe gur erfg bs gurz
X gura fur vfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe lbh.
X %%
X! Jbzra Havgr! Znxr *___uvz* fyrrc va gur jrg fcbg gbavtug!
X %%
X Jbzra jub jnag gb or rdhny gb zra ynpx vzntvangvba
X -- Tenssvgb va n jbzra'f erfgebbz
X--- 896,902 ----
X Jul zneel n ivetva? Vs fur jnfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe gur erfg bs gurz
X gura fur vfa'g tbbq rabhtu sbe lbh.
X %%
X! Jbzra Havgr! Znxr *_^Hu_^Hv_^Hz* fyrrc va gur jrg fcbg gbavtug!
X %%
X Jbzra jub jnag gb or rdhny gb zra ynpx vzntvangvba
X -- Tenssvgb va n jbzra'f erfgebbz
X*** scene.aa Mon Jun 22 16:05:42 1987
X--- scene.aa.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:40 1987
X***************
X*** 229,235 ****
X Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
X the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
X %%
X! A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
X %%
X A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
X about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their
X--- 229,235 ----
X Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
X the toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
X %%
X! A diva who specializes in risqu'^He arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
X %%
X A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
X about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their
X***************
X*** 294,300 ****
X %%
X A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
X A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
X! But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *____that ___had __to ____mean _________something*.
X -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
X %%
X A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort
X--- 294,300 ----
X %%
X A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
X A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
X! But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *_^H_^H_^H_^Hthat _^H_^H_^Hhad _^H_^Hto _^H_^H_^H_^Hmean _^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^H_^Hsomething*.
X -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
X %%
X A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort
X***************
X*** 717,723 ****
X A.A.A.A.A.:
X An organization for drunks who drive
X %%
X! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
X You brute! Knock before entering a ladies room!
X %%
X Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
X--- 717,723 ----
X A.A.A.A.A.:
X An organization for drunks who drive
X %%
X! ^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^GAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!^G
X You brute! Knock before entering a ladies room!
X %%
X Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
X***************
X*** 1069,1075 ****
X And all the coders merely butchers;
X They have their exits and their entrails;
X And one int in his time plays many widths,
X! His sizeof being _N bytes. At first the infant,
X Mewling and puking in the Regent's arms.
X And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun,
X And shining morning face, creeping like slug
X--- 1069,1075 ----
X And all the coders merely butchers;
X They have their exits and their entrails;
X And one int in his time plays many widths,
X! His sizeof being _^HN bytes. At first the infant,
X Mewling and puking in the Regent's arms.
X And then the whining schoolboy, with his Sun,
X And shining morning face, creeping like slug
X*** scene.ab Mon Jun 22 16:05:45 1987
X--- scene.ab.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:46 1987
X***************
X*** 87,93 ****
X Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but
X television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom
X and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that
X! offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher breath.
X -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly
X Do"
X %%
X--- 87,93 ----
X Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but
X television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom
X and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that
X! offers whiter teeth *___^H^H^Hand* fresher breath.
X -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly
X Do"
X %%
X***************
X*** 460,466 ****
X ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
X -- J. B. White
X %%
X! "At least they're ___________EXPERIENCED incompetents"
X %%
X At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
X thumb with a hammer.
X--- 460,466 ----
X ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
X -- J. B. White
X %%
X! "At least they're ___________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HEXPERIENCED incompetents"
X %%
X At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
X thumb with a hammer.
X***************
X*** 1052,1058 ****
X fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
X often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people
X from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B
X! that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____there. They often
X wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
X they wanted to be.
X -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
X--- 1052,1058 ----
X fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
X often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people
X from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B
X! that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____^H^H^H^H^Hthere. They often
X wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
X they wanted to be.
X -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
X***************
X*** 1180,1186 ****
X If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
X And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
X But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
X! Then I will *___and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
X -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
X of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams
X %%
X--- 1180,1186 ----
X If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
X And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
X But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
X! Then I will *___^H^H^Hand* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
X -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
X of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams
X %%
X*** scene.ac Mon Jun 22 16:05:47 1987
X--- scene.ac.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:51 1987
X***************
X*** 48,54 ****
X %%
X Cleanliness is next to impossible.
X %%
X! Cleveland still lives. God ____must be dead.
X %%
X "Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day."
X %%
X--- 48,54 ----
X %%
X Cleanliness is next to impossible.
X %%
X! Cleveland still lives. God ____^H^H^H^Hmust be dead.
X %%
X "Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day."
X %%
X***************
X*** 110,116 ****
X %%
X Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
X Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
X! Their indices bedecked from one to _n,
X Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X--- 110,116 ----
X %%
X Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
X Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
X! Their indices bedecked from one to _^Hn,
X Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X***************
X*** 181,187 ****
X Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
X $25,000.
X %%
X! ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this
X business, it probably would be gibberish.
X -- Thom McLeod
X %%
X--- 181,187 ----
X Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
X $25,000.
X %%
X! ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___^H^H^Hdid* quote anybody in this
X business, it probably would be gibberish.
X -- Thom McLeod
X %%
X***************
X*** 322,328 ****
X improve.
X %%
X Dear Lord:
X! I just want *___one* one-armed manager so I never have to hear "On
X the other hand", again.
X %%
X Dear Miss Manners:
X--- 322,328 ----
X improve.
X %%
X Dear Lord:
X! I just want *___^H^H^Hone* one-armed manager so I never have to hear "On
X the other hand", again.
X %%
X Dear Miss Manners:
X***************
X*** 744,750 ****
X The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front
X of your eyes.
X %%
X! Drink Canada Dry! You might not succeed, but it *__is* fun trying.
X %%
X Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
X %%
X--- 744,750 ----
X The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front
X of your eyes.
X %%
X! Drink Canada Dry! You might not succeed, but it *__^H^His* fun trying.
X %%
X Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
X %%
X***************
X*** 776,782 ****
X shot at mine, over there."
X %%
X During the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several
X! times, often with lin~po_~{po ~poz~ppo\~{ o n~po_~{o[po ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po\~{o
X %%
X "Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
X nothing whatever to do with it."
X--- 776,782 ----
X shot at mine, over there."
X %%
X During the next two hours, the system will be going up and down several
X! times, often with lin~po_~{po ~poz~ppo\~{ o n~po_^G~{o[po ~y oodsou>#w4k**n~po_^G~{ol;lkld;f;g;dd;po\~{o
X %%
X "Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
X nothing whatever to do with it."
X***************
X*** 918,925 ****
X %%
X Es brilig war. Die schlichte Toven
X Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben;
X! Und aller-m"umsige Burggoven
X! Dir mohmen R"ath ausgraben.
X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass"
X %%
X Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
X--- 918,925 ----
X %%
X Es brilig war. Die schlichte Toven
X Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben;
X! Und aller-m"^Humsige Burggoven
X! Dir mohmen R"^Hath ausgraben.
X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass"
X %%
X Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
X***************
X*** 1024,1030 ****
X Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
X %%
X Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be
X! taught how ___not to. So it is with the great programmers.
X %%
X Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to
X realize it.
X--- 1024,1030 ----
X Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
X %%
X Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had to be
X! taught how ___^H^H^Hnot to. So it is with the great programmers.
X %%
X Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to
X realize it.
X***************
X*** 1032,1038 ****
X Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic
X formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the
X scientific mind. The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact
X! wholly unconcerned with what ____does exist. Indeed, the banality of
X existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to
X discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the
X problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the
X--- 1032,1038 ----
X Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic
X formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the
X scientific mind. The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact
X! wholly unconcerned with what ____^H^H^H^Hdoes exist. Indeed, the banality of
X existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to
X discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the
X problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the
X***************
X*** 1041,1047 ****
X different way ...
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X! Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____does anything about it.
X %%
X Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,
X no one we know belongs.
X--- 1041,1047 ----
X different way ...
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X! Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____^H^H^H^Hdoes anything about it.
X %%
X Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,
X no one we know belongs.
X*** scene.ad Mon Jun 22 16:05:50 1987
X--- scene.ad.old Mon Jun 22 15:59:58 1987
X***************
X*** 75,81 ****
X -- Robert Firth
X %%
X Flappity, floppity, flip
X! The mouse on the m"obius strip;
X The strip revolved,
X The mouse dissolved
X In a chronodimensional skip.
X--- 75,81 ----
X -- Robert Firth
X %%
X Flappity, floppity, flip
X! The mouse on the m"^Hobius strip;
X The strip revolved,
X The mouse dissolved
X In a chronodimensional skip.
X***************
X*** 775,785 ****
X Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
X %%
X Gray's Law of Programming:
X! `_n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
X! time as `_n' tasks.
X
X Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
X! `_n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `_n' trivial tasks.
X %%
X Great minds run in great circles.
X %%
X--- 775,785 ----
X Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
X %%
X Gray's Law of Programming:
X! `_^Hn+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
X! time as `_^Hn' tasks.
X
X Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
X! `_^Hn+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `_^Hn' trivial tasks.
X %%
X Great minds run in great circles.
X %%
X***************
X*** 1069,1075 ****
X "He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."
X %%
X HE: Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains to science.
X! SHE: What?!? Science got enough trouble with their ___OWN brains.
X -- Walt Kelley
X %%
X Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
X--- 1069,1075 ----
X "He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."
X %%
X HE: Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains to science.
X! SHE: What?!? Science got enough trouble with their ___^H^H^HOWN brains.
X -- Walt Kelley
X %%
X Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
X***************
X*** 1147,1158 ****
X %%
X Here in my heart, I am Helen;
X I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least.
X! I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Sta"el;
X I'm Salome, moon of the East.
X
X Here in my soul I am Sappho;
X Lady Hamilton am I, as well.
X! In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea,
X With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell.
X
X I'm all of the glamorous ladies
X--- 1147,1158 ----
X %%
X Here in my heart, I am Helen;
X I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least.
X! I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Sta"^Hel;
X I'm Salome, moon of the East.
X
X Here in my soul I am Sappho;
X Lady Hamilton am I, as well.
X! In me R'^Hecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea,
X With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell.
X
X I'm all of the glamorous ladies
X*** scene.ae Mon Jun 22 16:05:52 1987
X--- scene.ae.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:03 1987
X***************
X*** 422,428 ****
X %%
X "I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?"
X %%
X! "I don't think so," said Ren'e Descartes. Just then, he vanished.
X %%
X "I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital. On the other
X hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."
X--- 422,428 ----
X %%
X "I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?"
X %%
X! "I don't think so," said Ren'^He Descartes. Just then, he vanished.
X %%
X "I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital. On the other
X hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."
X***************
X*** 463,469 ****
X %%
X "I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words."
X %%
X! I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *__________horrifying* 20
X minutes of my life!
X %%
X 'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
X--- 463,469 ----
X %%
X "I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words."
X %%
X! I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *__________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hhorrifying* 20
X minutes of my life!
X %%
X 'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
X***************
X*** 543,549 ****
X -- Blaise Pascal
X %%
X I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole
X! ____BODY!
X -- from "Cerebus" #82
X %%
X "I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer."
X--- 543,549 ----
X -- Blaise Pascal
X %%
X I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole
X! ____^H^H^H^HBODY!
X -- from "Cerebus" #82
X %%
X "I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer."
X***************
X*** 670,676 ****
X I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
X I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
X Bernoulli would have been content to die
X! Had he but known such _a-squared cos 2(phi)!
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X I sent a letter to the fish,
X--- 670,676 ----
X I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
X I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
X Bernoulli would have been content to die
X! Had he but known such _^Ha-squared cos 2(phi)!
X -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
X %%
X I sent a letter to the fish,
X***************
X*** 976,982 ****
X %%
X I'm rated PG-34!!
X %%
X! "I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____REAL
X soon ..."
X %%
X "I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it
X--- 976,982 ----
X %%
X I'm rated PG-34!!
X %%
X! "I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____^H^H^H^HREAL
X soon ..."
X %%
X "I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it
X***************
X*** 1068,1078 ****
X forecast is a camel's behind.
X -- Edgar R. Fiedler
X %%
X! If A equals success, then the formula is _A = _X + _Y + _Z. _X is work. _Y
X! is play. _Z is keep your mouth shut.
X -- Albert Einstein
X %%
X! If a group of _N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be _N-1
X passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager.
X -- T. Cheatham
X %%
X--- 1068,1078 ----
X forecast is a camel's behind.
X -- Edgar R. Fiedler
X %%
X! If A equals success, then the formula is _^HA = _^HX + _^HY + _^HZ. _^HX is work. _^HY
X! is play. _^HZ is keep your mouth shut.
X -- Albert Einstein
X %%
X! If a group of _^HN persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be _^HN-1
X passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager.
X -- T. Cheatham
X %%
X*** scene.af Mon Jun 22 16:05:54 1987
X--- scene.af.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:09 1987
X***************
X*** 294,303 ****
X door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
X %%
X! Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux
X Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave,
X! Enm^im'es sont les gougebosquex,
X! Et le m^omerade horgrave.
X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass"
X %%
X Iles's Law:
X--- 294,303 ----
X door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
X %%
X! Il brilgue: les t^^Hoves libricilleux
X Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave,
X! Enm^^Him'^Hes sont les gougebosquex,
X! Et le m^^Homerade horgrave.
X -- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass"
X %%
X Iles's Law:
X***************
X*** 494,500 ****
X In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.
X -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
X %%
X! "In short, _N is Richardian if, and only if, _N is not Richardian."
X %%
X In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.
X %%
X--- 494,500 ----
X In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.
X -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
X %%
X! "In short, _^HN is Richardian if, and only if, _^HN is not Richardian."
X %%
X In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.
X %%
X***************
X*** 513,519 ****
X
X So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in
X Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost
X! ___see the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and
X rolled back.
X -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
X %%
X--- 513,519 ----
X
X So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in
X Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost
X! ___^H^H^Hsee the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and
X rolled back.
X -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
X %%
X***************
X*** 684,690 ****
X -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
X %%
X It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself
X! that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that
X one can learn."
X -- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman
X %%
X--- 684,690 ----
X -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
X %%
X It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself
X! that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____^H^H^H^Honly* by amusing oneself that
X one can learn."
X -- Edward Kasner and James R. Newman
X %%
X***************
X*** 866,872 ****
X It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
X warning to others.
X %%
X! "It runs like _x, where _x is something unsavory"
X -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435
X %%
X It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the
X--- 866,872 ----
X It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
X warning to others.
X %%
X! "It runs like _^Hx, where _^Hx is something unsavory"
X -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435
X %%
X It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the
X***************
X*** 938,944 ****
X "It means summon's in trouble."
X -- Rocky and Bullwinkle
X %%
X! It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
X -- Churchy La Femme
X %%
X It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black.
X--- 938,944 ----
X "It means summon's in trouble."
X -- Rocky and Bullwinkle
X %%
X! It's a very *__^H^HUN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
X -- Churchy La Femme
X %%
X It's always darkest just before it gets pitch black.
X***************
X*** 1206,1212 ****
X Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students,
X and parking for the faculty.
X %%
X! Kids have *_____never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could
X travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the
X original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate
X teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for
X--- 1206,1212 ----
X Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students,
X and parking for the faculty.
X %%
X! Kids have *_____^H^H^H^H^Hnever* taken guidance from their parents. If you could
X travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the
X original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate
X teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for
X*** scene.ag Mon Jun 22 16:05:57 1987
X--- scene.ag.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:15 1987
X***************
X*** 257,263 ****
X Lizzie Borden took an axe,
X And plunged it deep into the VAX;
X Don't you envy people who
X! Do all the things ___YOU want to do?
X %%
X Loan-department manager: "There isn't any fine print. At these
X interest rates, we don't need it."
X--- 257,263 ----
X Lizzie Borden took an axe,
X And plunged it deep into the VAX;
X Don't you envy people who
X! Do all the things ___^H^H^HYOU want to do?
X %%
X Loan-department manager: "There isn't any fine print. At these
X interest rates, we don't need it."
X***************
X*** 284,290 ****
X The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street aren't
X one in a million, but once would be enough.
X %%
X! Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *_____awful*.
X %%
X ... Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and
X legally ... impeccable!
X--- 284,290 ----
X The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street aren't
X one in a million, but once would be enough.
X %%
X! Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree; that smells *_____^H^H^H^H^Hawful*.
X %%
X ... Logically incoherent, semantically incomprehensible, and
X legally ... impeccable!
X***************
X*** 295,301 ****
X But let them prove it if they can.
X -- Oliver Goldsmith
X %%
X! Look out! Behind you!
X %%
X Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us
X to pay income taxes, too?
X--- 295,301 ----
X But let them prove it if they can.
X -- Oliver Goldsmith
X %%
X! Look out! Behind you!^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G^G
X %%
X Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us
X to pay income taxes, too?
X***************
X*** 447,453 ****
X
X Man 2: OK, what is the most impo---
X
X! Man 1: ______TIMING!
X %%
X "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
X -- Lily Tomlin
X--- 447,453 ----
X
X Man 2: OK, what is the most impo---
X
X! Man 1: ______^H^H^H^H^H^HTIMING!
X %%
X "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
X -- Lily Tomlin
X*** scene.ah Mon Jun 22 16:05:59 1987
X--- scene.ah.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:23 1987
X***************
X*** 167,173 ****
X O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law:
X Murphy was an optimist.
X %%
X! "Of ______course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a
X fake?"
X %%
X Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the
X--- 167,173 ----
X O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law:
X Murphy was an optimist.
X %%
X! "Of ______^H^H^H^H^H^Hcourse it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a
X fake?"
X %%
X Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the
X***************
X*** 460,466 ****
X -- Will Durant
X %%
X One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: "Why did God
X! create goyim?" The generally accepted answer is "________somebody has to buy
X retail."
X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
X %%
X--- 460,466 ----
X -- Will Durant
X %%
X One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: "Why did God
X! create goyim?" The generally accepted answer is "________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hsomebody has to buy
X retail."
X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
X %%
X***************
X*** 587,593 ****
X Our documentation manager was showing her 2 year old son around the
X office. He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we
X were both holding bags of popcorn. We were both holding bottles of
X! juice. But only *__he* had a lollipop.
X
X He asked his mother, "Why doesn't HE have a lollipop?"
X
X--- 587,593 ----
X Our documentation manager was showing her 2 year old son around the
X office. He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we
X were both holding bags of popcorn. We were both holding bottles of
X! juice. But only *_^H_^Hhe* had a lollipop.
X
X He asked his mother, "Why doesn't HE have a lollipop?"
X
X***************
X*** 970,976 ****
X The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of
X laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for
X hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron
X! Hans Neizant B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653.
X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
X %%
X Portable, adj.:
X--- 970,976 ----
X The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of
X laughter streaming down their faces. The event set a record for
X hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron
X! Hans Neizant B"^Hompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"^Holn in 1653.
X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
X %%
X Portable, adj.:
X***************
X*** 1033,1049 ****
X %%
X Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction.
X
X! This technique is used on equations with "_n" in them. Induction
X techniques are very popular, even the military used them.
X
X SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction.
X
X! We know it's true for _n equal to 1. Now assume that it's true
X! for every natural number less than _n. _N is arbitrary, so we can take _n
X! as large as we want. If _n is sufficiently large, the case of _n+1 is
X! trivially equivalent, so the only important _n are _n less than _n. We
X! can take _n = _n (from above), so it's true for _n+1 because it's just
X! about _n.
X QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")
X %%
X Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.
X--- 1033,1049 ----
X %%
X Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction.
X
X! This technique is used on equations with "_^Hn" in them. Induction
X techniques are very popular, even the military used them.
X
X SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction.
X
X! We know it's true for _^Hn equal to 1. Now assume that it's true
X! for every natural number less than _^Hn. _^HN is arbitrary, so we can take _^Hn
X! as large as we want. If _^Hn is sufficiently large, the case of _^Hn+1 is
X! trivially equivalent, so the only important _^Hn are _^Hn less than _^Hn. We
X! can take _^Hn = _^Hn (from above), so it's true for _^Hn+1 because it's just
X! about _^Hn.
X QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")
X %%
X Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.
X***************
X*** 1061,1067 ****
X "Try it; it works"
X Constipation (I was just sitting there and ...)
X Blatant assertion
X! Changing all the 2's to _n's
X Mutual consent
X Lack of a counterexample, and
X "It stands to reason"
X--- 1061,1067 ----
X "Try it; it works"
X Constipation (I was just sitting there and ...)
X Blatant assertion
X! Changing all the 2's to _^Hn's
X Mutual consent
X Lack of a counterexample, and
X "It stands to reason"
X*** scene.ai Mon Jun 22 16:06:02 1987
X--- scene.ai.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:29 1987
X***************
X*** 73,79 ****
X Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and
X greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any
X moment. They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that
X! systems could be virtual at *___all* levels. They would like personal
X computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your
X DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
X Correctness Verification Aid packages.
X--- 73,79 ----
X Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and
X greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any
X moment. They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that
X! systems could be virtual at *___^H^H^Hall* levels. They would like personal
X computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your
X DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
X Correctness Verification Aid packages.
X***************
X*** 433,439 ****
X Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made
X of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts
X is not necessarily science.
X! -- Henri Poincair'e
X %%
X Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
X %%
X--- 433,439 ----
X Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made
X of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts
X is not necessarily science.
X! -- Henri Poincair'^He
X %%
X Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
X %%
X***************
X*** 490,496 ****
X -- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for
X Programmable Instrumentation
X %%
X! Security check: INTRUDER ALERT!
X %%
X Seduced, shaggy Samson snored.
X She scissored short. Sorely shorn,
X--- 490,496 ----
X -- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for
X Programmable Instrumentation
X %%
X! Security check: ^G^G^GINTRUDER ALERT!
X %%
X Seduced, shaggy Samson snored.
X She scissored short. Sorely shorn,
X***************
X*** 954,960 ****
X communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so
X on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real
X life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't
X! communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____least
X he can do is to Shut Up!
X -- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was"
X %%
X--- 954,960 ----
X communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so
X on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real
X life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't
X! communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____^H^H^H^H^Hleast
X he can do is to Shut Up!
X -- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was"
X %%
X***************
X*** 978,984 ****
X wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
X %%
X "Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist
X! drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'ee of bat guano; and the
X greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll
X take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
X -- Harlan Ellison
X--- 978,984 ----
X wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
X %%
X "Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist
X! drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'^Hee of bat guano; and the
X greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll
X take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
X -- Harlan Ellison
X*** scene.aj Mon Jun 22 16:06:05 1987
X--- scene.aj.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:43 1987
X***************
X*** 183,190 ****
X "Kool-Aid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish.
X Pumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish.
X Instant potatoes -- goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish.
X! Macaroons are ____very Jewish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is
X! goyish. Lime soda is ____very goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that
X Jews won't go near them ..."
X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
X %%
X--- 183,190 ----
X "Kool-Aid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish.
X Pumpernickel is Jewish and, as you know, white bread is very goyish.
X Instant potatoes -- goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish.
X! Macaroons are ____^H^H^H^Hvery Jewish. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is
X! goyish. Lime soda is ____^H^H^H^Hvery goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that
X Jews won't go near them ..."
X -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
X %%
X***************
X*** 363,369 ****
X to be good.
X %%
X The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of
X! statistics. These are raised to the _nth degree, the cube roots are
X extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive
X displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every
X case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts
X--- 363,369 ----
X to be good.
X %%
X The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of
X! statistics. These are raised to the _^Hnth degree, the cube roots are
X extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive
X displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every
X case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts
X***************
X*** 1119,1126 ****
X heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to
X the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much
X heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for
X! radiation, (_H/_E)^4 = 50, where _E is the absolute temperature of the
X! earth (-300K), gives _H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell
X cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the
X fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which
X burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means
X--- 1119,1126 ----
X heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to
X the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much
X heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for
X! radiation, (_^HH/_^HE)^4 = 50, where _^HE is the absolute temperature of the
X! earth (-300K), gives _^HH as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell
X cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the
X fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which
X burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means
X*** scene.ak Mon Jun 22 16:06:07 1987
X--- scene.ak.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:50 1987
X***************
X*** 28,34 ****
X Someone dropped me on my head?
X -- Dorothy Parker
X %%
X! There *__is* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday.
X %%
X There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
X and praiseworthy ...
X--- 28,34 ----
X Someone dropped me on my head?
X -- Dorothy Parker
X %%
X! There *__^H^His* intelligent life on Earth, but I leave for Texas on Monday.
X %%
X There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
X and praiseworthy ...
X***************
X*** 60,66 ****
X every other person you meet with that name will be Jewish. Why is
X this?
X Who knows? Learned rabbis have pondered this question for
X! centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think ___you
X can find one? Get serious. You don't even understand why it's
X forbidden to eat crab -- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise -- or lobster
X -- soft tender morsels of lobster dipped in melted butter. You don't
X--- 60,66 ----
X every other person you meet with that name will be Jewish. Why is
X this?
X Who knows? Learned rabbis have pondered this question for
X! centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think ___^H^H^Hyou
X can find one? Get serious. You don't even understand why it's
X forbidden to eat crab -- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise -- or lobster
X -- soft tender morsels of lobster dipped in melted butter. You don't
X***************
X*** 420,426 ****
X This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
X %%
X This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need,
X! please use the program "________randchar". This program generates random
X characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with
X something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be
X more profound than THIS program has ever been.
X--- 420,426 ----
X This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
X %%
X This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need,
X! please use the program "________^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hrandchar". This program generates random
X characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with
X something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be
X more profound than THIS program has ever been.
X***************
X*** 489,495 ****
X Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or
X more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ....
X %%
X! This is the ____LAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury!
X %%
X This is the first numerical problem I ever did. It demonstrates the
X power of computers:
X--- 489,495 ----
X Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or
X more, you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ....
X %%
X! This is the ____^H^H^H^HLAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury!
X %%
X This is the first numerical problem I ever did. It demonstrates the
X power of computers:
X***************
X*** 755,761 ****
X except in major motion pictures."
X -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!"
X %%
X! Toilet Toup'ee, n.:
X Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
X creating endless annoyance to male users.
X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
X--- 755,761 ----
X except in major motion pictures."
X -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!"
X %%
X! Toilet Toup'^Hee, n.:
X Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
X creating endless annoyance to male users.
X -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
X***************
X*** 811,817 ****
X Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
X specification is that it should run noiselessly.
X %%
X! Trying to establish voice contact ... please ____yell into keyboard.
X %%
X Turnaucka's Law:
X The attention span of a computer is only as long as its
X--- 811,817 ----
X Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
X specification is that it should run noiselessly.
X %%
X! Trying to establish voice contact ... please ____^H^H^H^Hyell into keyboard.
X %%
X Turnaucka's Law:
X The attention span of a computer is only as long as its
X***************
X*** 1146,1152 ****
X fish.
X %%
X We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the
X! hardware, but we can *___see* the blinking lights!
X %%
X "We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
X hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
X--- 1146,1152 ----
X fish.
X %%
X We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the
X! hardware, but we can *___^H^H^Hsee* the blinking lights!
X %%
X "We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
X hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
X*** scene.al Mon Jun 22 16:06:10 1987
X--- scene.al.old Mon Jun 22 16:00:56 1987
X***************
X*** 34,40 ****
X they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.
X -- President Ronald Reagan, on the MX missile
X %%
X! "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can*
X you believe?!"
X -- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]
X %%
X--- 34,40 ----
X they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.
X -- President Ronald Reagan, on the MX missile
X %%
X! "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___^H^H^Hcan*
X you believe?!"
X -- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]
X %%
X***************
X*** 369,375 ****
X %%
X When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies,
X the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a
X! nose bleed, which usually cures them of ____that.
X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
X %%
X When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is
X--- 369,375 ----
X %%
X When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies,
X the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a
X! nose bleed, which usually cures them of ____^H^H^H^Hthat.
X -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
X %%
X When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is
Xrm /tmp/ctl_fix.$$
Xexit 0
END_OF_CtlFix.sh
if test 47464 -ne `wc -c <CtlFix.sh`; then
echo shar: \"CtlFix.sh\" unpacked with wrong size!
fi
chmod +x CtlFix.sh
# end of overwriting check
fi
if test -f Patchlevel -a "${1}" != "-c" ; then
echo shar: Will not over-write existing file \"Patchlevel\"
else
echo shar: Extracting \"Patchlevel\" \(14 characters\)
sed "s/^X//" >Patchlevel <<'END_OF_Patchlevel'
XPatchlevel: 1
END_OF_Patchlevel
if test 14 -ne `wc -c <Patchlevel`; then
echo shar: \"Patchlevel\" unpacked with wrong size!
fi
# end of overwriting check
fi
echo shar: End of shell archive.
exit 0