johnc@laidbak.UUCP (John R. Cray) (07/25/85)
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The following is a re-enactment of an actual conversation which took place
somewhere in the labyrinthian passages beneath the large, really large
corporate headquarters of a well known, really large, labyrinthian
ultra-conservative, mega-bureaucracy firmly entrenched on the western coast
of the Atlantic. The participants are Brian and Dennis, two of the
corporation's brightest software developers, neither of whom, it is sad to
say, are particularly satisfied with his present employer.
Brian: Hi Dennis. Ready for lunch? Are you hungry?
Dennis: Hungry? Yes, I'm hungry. Hungry for a good project; hungry for
a flexible work environment, for creative control over what I
do, for variety and mobility in my work; hungry for fun!
Brian: What are you trying to say? Don't you like your job, or what?
Dennis (beginning to sob): I'm, I'm, I'm, ...
Brian: You're just not challenged, are you?
Dennis (weakly): A masters degree, five years of solid UNIX experience,
strong communications skills, and, and look at me - lost
beneath the whirring fluorescent lights of obscurity -
writing programs that would bore a, a ...
Brian: ... a drill bit?
Dennis: Exactly.
Brian: And you want a higher salary, more complete benefits!
Dennis: Sure.
Brian: How'd you like to work on the design of a distributed file system
for UNIX?
Dennis: Sounds good.
Brian: How about developing operating systems software for state-of-the-art
supercomputer architectures and array processors including the Cray I
and the CYBER series?
Dennis: Yeah, I'd like that.
Brian: Would you also enjoy work with local area networks, compilers,
and database systems?
Dennis: Yes, sounds great!
Brian: How about telecommunications, operating systems security, computer
graphics, programmers tools, and lots of other kinds of systems
programming?
Dennis: Yes! Yes! Yes! If only there was such a place to work!
Brian: I'm glad you said that, Dennis. I've just interviewed with a company
that can provide all those things, and more!
Dennis: Really! Tell me about it!
Brian: It's called Lachman Associates, Inc. in Chicago, Denver, Columbus,
New Jersey, and lots of other places as well. LAI is a consulting
and software development firm and they have lots of expertise in UNIX
related systems programming. They made me a very competitive offer,
and I'm going to take it!
Dennis: How can I get in touch with this computer science Shangri-La?
Brian: It's simple. Just send your resume to:
Lachman Associates, Inc.
645 Blackhawk Drive
Westmont, Ill. 60559
Attn: Staffing
or send electronic mail to:
...!ihnp4!laidbak!jobs
Dennis: Sounds great! I'll send my resume today! Finally, I can get rid of
this 3-piece suit!
Brian (stripping off his tie): Great idea! Now, let's get some lunch. I'm
starving!
Dennis: (stripping off his tie as well): Me too. Starving. Starving for
a hamburger. Starving for some french fries wedged in my throat.
Starving for some rice pudding trembling ecstatically on the tip
of my tongue. Imagine those little rice grains dancing like tiny,
really tiny prima ballerinas ...