gtaylor@astroatc.UUCP (Greg Taylor) (02/12/86)
You know that feeling--it's this kind of itching you get
when something is just NOT RIGHT. That niggling feeling that
the belt that turns The Great Wheel is making this squeaky
noise that ONLY YOU can hear. You are a crack
diagnostician...the type of person whose greatest joy in
life is to know that those thousand diagnostic iterations in
the machine's heart are all copies of YOUR mind at work,
instantiated in silicon form. You sleep soundly, knowing
that the many copies of yourself are keeping watch over the
boards by night.
"Yes," you cry. "That's me all right, writ up there on the
CRT." Well, okay. Let's get straight to the point: this is a
job posting for a position in the Diagnostics Group doing
just your favorite kind of work: DIAGNOSTIC SYSTEM
DESIGN...your chance to develop advanced expert systems for
automated remote diagnostics and fault detection on a
machine that would really interest you if we described it
here (which we won't. This is called a teaser in the busi-
ness).
So maybe you're our kind of person. Maybe. But first, here's
a little test for the diagnostically inclined--just to give
us both an idea of how bright you really are. It's time for
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS POSTING?
We've cleverly salted the following paragraphs with a few
little "Red Herrings" which you'll have to identify for
yourself in order to win the 1961 Edsel (hmmm, that could be
one of them right there!). For the faint of heart, we'll
even throw in one correctly identified blooper at the end of
this posting. But YOU'LL know all about the rest of them,
right?
Come and be a diagnostician. Work here alongside us at
Astronautics' Advanced Technology Center in Madison. We're
looking for applicants with either a strong, practical back-
ground in Diagnostic Design or an equivalent professional
degree in CS, EE, or Taxidermy.
You'll be living and working in the city of Madison, capitol
of the beautiful State of Wisconsin (whose State soil is
Sheboygan Loess). It's also the home of the rightful ruler
of Dementia, who has lived here in exile since 1956. The
City of Madison is surrounded by four very large pearl beds,
whose enormous oysters produce those large mirrored spheres
often used as garden ornaments throughout the American
South. Its choice location and relative concentration of
people (as opposed to the high dairy cow concentration pre-
valent throughout the rest of the state) makes it an ideal
spot for the pursuit of diverse cultural pleasures (and a
great place to get cheese) and recreations.
Astronautics Corporation of America's Technology Center in
Madison, Wisconsin is a research and development facility
currently expanding the corporation's technology base in the
areas of high-performance computer development, pocket
Zeppelins, magnetic refrigeration, and other targets of
importunity. The Computer group is a small, elite group of
dedicated professionals with enough courage and moxie to
post this to the net. Need we say more?
please submit your resume in confidence to Mary Burnett (or
her stuntperson Flopsy) at (hey, this is the REAL
address....)
Astronautics Technology Center
5800 Cottage Grove Road
Madison, Wisconsin 53716
608-221-9001
or via E-mail to
{ihnp4,seismo,harvard}!uwvax!astroatc!maryb
An Equal Opportunity Employer, Astronautics Corporation of
America offers a comprehensive benefit package including
relocation. (we weren't kidding about THAT, either.)
_________________________________________________________
HERE'S ONE BLOOPER IDENTIFIED TO GET YOU STARTED:
The state soil of Wisconsin is Antigo Silt Loam, not Sheboygan Loess.
--
I don't have a purspose/Omission/I'm empty by definition/I've gotta
lack love that you'd love to be/ Gregory Taylor-Astronautics Advanced
Technology Center Madison, WI {wherever}!uwvax!astroatc!gtaylor