gtaylor@astroatc.UUCP (Greg Taylor) (02/12/86)
You know that feeling--it's this kind of itching you get when something is just NOT RIGHT. That niggling feeling that the belt that turns The Great Wheel is making this squeaky noise that ONLY YOU can hear. You are a crack diagnostician...the type of person whose greatest joy in life is to know that those thousand diagnostic iterations in the machine's heart are all copies of YOUR mind at work, instantiated in silicon form. You sleep soundly, knowing that the many copies of yourself are keeping watch over the boards by night. "Yes," you cry. "That's me all right, writ up there on the CRT." Well, okay. Let's get straight to the point: this is a job posting for a position in the Diagnostics Group doing just your favorite kind of work: DIAGNOSTIC SYSTEM DESIGN...your chance to develop advanced expert systems for automated remote diagnostics and fault detection on a machine that would really interest you if we described it here (which we won't. This is called a teaser in the busi- ness). So maybe you're our kind of person. Maybe. But first, here's a little test for the diagnostically inclined--just to give us both an idea of how bright you really are. It's time for WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS POSTING? We've cleverly salted the following paragraphs with a few little "Red Herrings" which you'll have to identify for yourself in order to win the 1961 Edsel (hmmm, that could be one of them right there!). For the faint of heart, we'll even throw in one correctly identified blooper at the end of this posting. But YOU'LL know all about the rest of them, right? Come and be a diagnostician. Work here alongside us at Astronautics' Advanced Technology Center in Madison. We're looking for applicants with either a strong, practical back- ground in Diagnostic Design or an equivalent professional degree in CS, EE, or Taxidermy. You'll be living and working in the city of Madison, capitol of the beautiful State of Wisconsin (whose State soil is Sheboygan Loess). It's also the home of the rightful ruler of Dementia, who has lived here in exile since 1956. The City of Madison is surrounded by four very large pearl beds, whose enormous oysters produce those large mirrored spheres often used as garden ornaments throughout the American South. Its choice location and relative concentration of people (as opposed to the high dairy cow concentration pre- valent throughout the rest of the state) makes it an ideal spot for the pursuit of diverse cultural pleasures (and a great place to get cheese) and recreations. Astronautics Corporation of America's Technology Center in Madison, Wisconsin is a research and development facility currently expanding the corporation's technology base in the areas of high-performance computer development, pocket Zeppelins, magnetic refrigeration, and other targets of importunity. The Computer group is a small, elite group of dedicated professionals with enough courage and moxie to post this to the net. Need we say more? please submit your resume in confidence to Mary Burnett (or her stuntperson Flopsy) at (hey, this is the REAL address....) Astronautics Technology Center 5800 Cottage Grove Road Madison, Wisconsin 53716 608-221-9001 or via E-mail to {ihnp4,seismo,harvard}!uwvax!astroatc!maryb An Equal Opportunity Employer, Astronautics Corporation of America offers a comprehensive benefit package including relocation. (we weren't kidding about THAT, either.) _________________________________________________________ HERE'S ONE BLOOPER IDENTIFIED TO GET YOU STARTED: The state soil of Wisconsin is Antigo Silt Loam, not Sheboygan Loess. -- I don't have a purspose/Omission/I'm empty by definition/I've gotta lack love that you'd love to be/ Gregory Taylor-Astronautics Advanced Technology Center Madison, WI {wherever}!uwvax!astroatc!gtaylor