gtaylor@astroatc.UUCP (Greg Taylor) (02/26/86)
(The commercial is over, and you're back on the sofa with a
root beer and a bag of Oreos. That familiar logo comes on
and you settle back for the rest of the show....)
ON SCREEN: "A Few Minutes With Andy Looney"
(The familiar red face, rumpled suit, and cluttered office
appears on the screen. But what's this? Andy has a worksta-
tion on his desk....)
SLOW ZOOM TO TALKING HEAD SHOT OF ANDY:
Didya ever wonder about that slash you always see in the
term I/O? What I wanna know is, who put it there? Did
they figure we'd confuse it with one of Jupiter's moons?
I bet nobody remembers that Io was really one of the
Greek God Jupiter's girlfriends--nobody reads
Bullfinch's Mythology any more. Suppose we built a unit
that does IO...I guess we might be pretty confused about
all those IOUs flying back and forth, wouldn't we? Not
my kids, though: they *never* pay me back for anything
and their idea of mythology is Darth Vader and Ms. Pig-
gy.
And how come they don't use hyphens instead of the
slashes like touchy-feely or hurdy-gurdy or willy-nilly?
Somebody probably figures that the first word in any hy-
phenated word is usually more important. I don't know
about you, but I always suspected that the helter is the
*really* messed up part of helter-skelter....
So we're stuck with calling it I/O. In print, it looks
like somebody went after the word with a machete. How do
you say it? Maybe we can find the guy that thought up
the spelling and ask *him*. He probably hiccups when he
says it, I bet. Whenever I try it, it comes out sounding
like "Hi Ho." How do you expect anybody to take you
seriously if you sound like one of the Seven Dwarves?
(Andy glowers in his endearing way at the camera while one
of his hands idly fools with the mouse. Fade to a huge shot
of a bunch of letters....)
VOICE OVER:
We got a lot of mail this week on our story about Madison,
Wisconsin as an undiscovered American city. Most readers
were surprised to find out what a great place it was to live
and work. A few readers were even amused at the run-in Mike
Wallace had with the Dairy cow. We also got an unusual note
from a company located right in "the Mecca of the Midwest"
looking to hire people.....
CUT TO SHOT OF LETTER:
(A job listing appears on the screen [This is *imaginary*
television, of course....] and slowly scrolls by you. You
stop rooting about in the bottom of the Oreo bag for crumbs
and read slowly.)
Astronautics Technology Center
5800 Cottage Grove Road
Madison, Wisconsin 53716
608-221-9001
Astronautics Corporation of America (ACA) is a firm with
over 25 years of high technology expertise. ACA's research
and development facility is currently expanding the
corporation's technology base into the areas of high-
performance computer development. An immediate opening
exists in the Computer Development group for an I/O Group
Leader.
Any applicant for this position should expect to be involved
in the supervision of the design of an I/O system, leading a
project team consisting of 3 to 5 engineers. In addition,
the I/O Group Leader will be doing the lead design work on
the system level.
The prospective applicant should have a strong background in
project leadership and experience with the design of high-
speed computer systems and peripherals. In addition, a work-
ing familiarity with the UNIX operating system and C is
required.
Familiarity with the VALID Systems CAE design tools is also
desirable.
As the capital of Wisconsin and the home of the University
of Wisconsin, Madison is known for its high standard of edu-
cation and its quality of life. Madison is a city built on
the shores of five lakes and with the beautiful state of
Wisconsin offers many recreational activities, including
sporting and cultural events.
An Equal Opportunity Employer, Astronautics Corporation of
American offers a comprehensive benefit package including
relocation.
CUT TO SHOT OF NEW LETTER:
(Another letter flips up on the screen, written in an angu-
lar hand using green, runny ink with a peculiar looking
stamp.)
CUT TO MONTAGE OF FULL MOON AND DILAPIDATED PICKUP TRUCKS.
VOICE OVER:
And many of you were also interested in our story about that
small African republic who landed a fleet of trucks on the
moon.....