cfry@watdcsu.waterloo.edu (C.Fry - Inst. Computer Research) (02/10/88)
The National Enquirer Report on Splines
by
Richard Bartels
of
Department of Computer Science
Computer Graphics Lab
University of Waterloo
Abstract
The Computer Graphics Laboratory at the University of Waterloo
has four full-time faculty and a varying contingent of students
usually numbering near twenty. The equipment in this laboratory
would provide right thinking people a golden opportunity to ad-
vance human knowledge in game playing or to perfect the
worthwhile art of flying logo design. Unfortunately, a signifi-
cant amount of the of the Lab members' energy and intelligence
has been wasted over the last several years consorting with nas-
ty, wiggly little creatures called ``splines.'' This talk will
present an illustrated tour through a chamber of horrors. We will
reveal the shocking truth about various Lab projects that have
become sullied with splines. In particular, it will be shown how
splines have been used to fudge weather maps, how splines have
tried to put Disney out of business, how splines have corroded
industrial surfaces, and how splines have been forced to satisfy
ghastly recursive definitions. We will even unveil, for the
first time in public, the results a psychological study on
splines, performed recently in the secrecy of a darkened room,
somewhere within the Lab. Nothing, no matter how unpleasant,
will held back. It is hoped that this will serve as a warning to
anyone tempted to sink into the morass of mathematical, computa-
tional, or graphical association with splines.
Rating: Restricted to 18 years or older.
DATE: February 17, 1988
TIME: 3:30 p.m.
PLACE: MC 5158
Everyone is welcome. Refreshments served.