kurt@fluke.UUCP (Kurt Guntheroth) (06/29/85)
Acts of net terrorism are on the rise. In the latest terrorist action,
chuqui is threatening to cancel net.flame with extremem prejudice. I am
requesting the creation of a new newsgroup, net.terror, for future an-
nouncements of terrorist demands.
Until creation of net.terror, I will use this general forum to make MY
demands of the net. Stop chuqui. If you do not, I will be forced to
destroy the entire network by posting hundreds of lightbulb jokes to
net.sources, and dozens of unrotated obscenities to net.general.
There is nothing you can do to stop me. You cannot cancel all my messages.
You cannot protect your newsgroups. I may strike any where, any time I
wish. I might resurrect net.db, send boring messages to net.jokes, or even
start a religious argument in net.lang. I will plunge the net into chaos,
force the severance of ARPA tie-ins, and eventually drive commercial sites
away, until you fall into the abyss of isolation from which you originally
came. If you doubt my sincerity, I will give you a tiny demonstration of
my power
Q: What's green, Irish, and stays out all night?
A: Patty O'Furniture!
Ha Ha Ha!!! There's no way to stop me! Better give in to my demands.
--
Kurt Guntheroth
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
{uw-beaver,decvax!microsof,ucbvax!lbl-csam,allegra,ssc-vax}!fluke!kurtmoriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) (06/29/85)
Please! He's not joking! He sits in the office next to me, and he's kept our entire software group in a grip of terror for the last two months! And he showed me an "inews" shell script and a 10Mb file full of lightbulb jokes, primed to post! Don't play dice with the collective net sanity -- accede to his demands! He's talented and he's not very sane! Oh, hi, Kurt.... what am I doing? Why, nothing, just mailing a letter to my sweet little old mother at ihnp4... Kurt, please... no, I wasn't going to betray you! You've got to believe me! No, Kurt, NO! NOT THA............... ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. Q: How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
dave@fluke.UUCP (Dave Van Ess) (06/29/85)
A terrorist named "Kurt"? Let's get real, no terrorist is named "Kurt". Terrorist have names like: Mario The Fox Abdul The Avenging Angel Jane "Kurt" is just not a terrorist's name. (A paperboy maybe, but not a terrorist.) Abdul the Avenging Fox and his dog Mario Terror Town WA ps Real terrorists eat light bulb jokes for breakfast. (tough stomachs, eh?)
root@trwatf.UUCP (Lord Frith) (07/02/85)
In article <773@vax2.fluke.UUCP> kurt@fluke.UUCP (Kurt Guntheroth) writes: > > There is nothing you can do to stop me. You cannot cancel all my messages. > You cannot protect your newsgroups. I may strike any where, any time I > wish. I might resurrect net.db, send boring messages to net.jokes, or even > start a religious argument in net.lang. I will plunge the net into chaos, > force the severance of ARPA tie-ins, and eventually drive commercial sites > away, until you fall into the abyss of isolation from which you originally > came. If you doubt my sincerity, I will give you a tiny demonstration of > my power > > Q: What's green, Irish, and stays out all night? > A: Patty O'Furniture! > > Ha Ha Ha!!! There's no way to stop me! Better give in to my demands. Oh no! We're helpless against the awsome might of these newer and even more terrible death-space-battle-jokes! What can we do who can we call? -- UUCP: ...{decvax,ihnp4,allegra}!seismo!trwatf!root - Lord Frith ARPA: trwatf!root@SEISMO "Money for you from the Buddah"
fair@ucbvax.ARPA (Erik E. Fair) (07/03/85)
Scene: Kurt the net terrorist has just threated the net with the ultimate weapon: the canonical list of lightbulb jokes. Jeff and the rest of the software gang are held at bay by Kurt's finger on the return key... ... and as Kurt hits the return key, suddenly the news feed is cut off, and their vax crashes with a blaze of light as the jokes unleash their power locally posted... Kurt: (dazed) What happened? Jeff: (smiles knowingly) This couldn't have been a Fluke. A UNIX Wizard must have wielded the farce to stop you. Either that or someone called the upstream USENET admin... Kurt: Curses! Foiled again by the power of USENET! this scenario brought to you by, keeper of the network news at ucbvax and cooperating netnews admins everywhere Erik E. Fair ucbvax!fair fair@ucbarpa.BERKELEY.EDU
crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) (07/03/85)
Don't give in, Chuq! Once you have given in to this demand, who knows what might follow? They might demand that net.general be made accessible to any topic -- or worse, that everyone *has* to read net.religion! (...and at the opening of the silly season today, the first screwball was thrown out in net.general.) -- Charlie Martin (...mcnc!duke!crm)
jay@garfield.UUCP (Jeyakumar Kumarasingam) (07/04/85)
In article <1025@trwatf.UUCP> root@trwatf.UUCP (Lord Frith) writes: >In article <773@vax2.fluke.UUCP> kurt@fluke.UUCP (Kurt Guntheroth) writes: >> >> There is nothing you can do to stop me. You cannot cancel all my messages. >> You cannot protect your newsgroups. I may strike any where, any time I >> wish. >Oh no! We're helpless against the awsome might of these newer and even more >terrible death-space-battle-jokes! What can we do who can we call? ----- call NET.BUSTERS :-)