DT5Y@cornella.bitnet (Peter Fleszar) (08/18/89)
[Moderator's Note: Mr. Fleszar kindly sent along this item which originally appeared on David Letterman's 'Top Ten', and more recently in rec.arts.tv. Thanks for a great laugh to close this issue of the Digest! PT] 08/08/89 Top Ten Demands of Striking Telephone Workers. 10. Sick of getting paid in quarters. 9. Make it illegal to answer phone "YEL-LO" 8. Full protective clothing and breathing apparatus for guys who clean New York City public phones. 7. Can refuse to repair phones shaped like cartoon cats. 6. Right to listen in on Rob Lowe's phone conversations. 5. Operators no longer have to make dial tone sound with their mouths. 4. Power to send National Guard to flatten houses of people with funny answering machine messages. 3. Authorization to say "Look it up yourself, you lazy sack of krud." 2. Right to call everybody Larry, as in "Thank you for using AT&T Larry." 1. Stop all the damn ringing, ringing, ringing. [Moderator's Note: It sorta reminds me of the Lillie Tomlin routine. Say goodnight, Larry. Wave bye-bye to little Patrick. **Just two issues of the Digest today** so see y'uns tomorrow morning. PT]