larry@uunet.uu.net (Larry Lippman) (07/17/90)
In keeping with some of the recent discussion about "the last"
magneto telephone exchange, I thought Telecom readers might enjoy a
few quotations from a volume in my collection of old books on
telephony. The book I have chosen is "A B C of the Telephone" by
James E. Homans, copyright 1901, published by Theo. Audel & Co. of New
York. At the end of this book is a section on "Telephone Don'ts",
quoted as follows:
1. DON'T tap on the diaphragm of the transmitter or receiver with a
pencil or other article.
2. DON'T drop the receiver or throw it down; you are apt to break it
if you do. The shell is made of hard rubber and is brittle.
3. DON'T experiment with the interior mechanism if you are not posted
on telephony.
4. DON'T talk in a loud voice because you do not hear the speaker at
the other end of the line very well.
5. DON'T expect satisfactory results when your receiver cord is broken,
binding post screws loose, or where the interior contacts have grown
poor from want of attention.
6. DON'T expect your telephone to give satisfaction if the batteries
are exhausted or connections at binding posts corroded.
7. DON'T expect your telephone to operate if you have forgotten to
hangup up the receiver and left the battery on a short circuit for
several hours.
8. DON'T place on top of the machine articles of metal. If you do,
your telephone may short circuit and you cannot call out to line.
9. DON'T oil the hinges of the bell box. [note: used as contacts]
10. DON'T open the door out of curiosity and then forget to lock it
again.
11. DON'T short-circuit the instrument by jamming a lead pencil between
the lightning arrester points.
12. DON'T stand too far from the transmitter while talking.
13. DON'T talk loud - it is unnecessary - but talk clearly and not
too fast.
14. DON'T blame the telephone if you do not perfectly understand at
all times the party on the other end of the line. Remember, that all
voices are not alike; some are particularly well adapted to telephone
conversation, while others are very unsatisfactory.
15. DON'T complain to the office that your telephone is out of order
until you are sure of it.
16. DON'T forget to ring off when through talking.
17. DON'T expect to obtain good results unless you do your share in
keeping up the apparatus and the line.
18. DON'T expect the best treatment in the world at the hands of
exchange operators if you have given them occasion to put your telephone
on the list of "chronic kickers".
19. DON'T waste the operator's time in useless talk. Remember, there
are other subscribers to the exchange who also expect her prompt response
to their calls.
20. DON'T lose your patience; you are simply powerless, and loss of
temper only makes a bad matter worse. If the exchange is not treating
you properly, report it, and if no relief is afforded, provided you
are in the right, order your telephone taken out.
It's hard to believe that there were once simpler times when
the ultimate solution to poor service as suggested in #20 could
actually be carried out! :-)
Larry Lippman @ Recognition Research Corp. "Have you hugged your cat today?"
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