nickless@flash.ras.anl.gov (Bill Nickless) (11/06/90)
A reasonable response I haven't read about yet could be scripted like
this:
Sleaze: "Is Mr. Nickless available?" (Or better yet, I live with my
recently widowed aunt, and the Sleaze asks for "Mr. or Mrs.
White....")
Our Hero: "Just a moment, please."
(20 minutes later, Sleaze hangs up in disgust, realizing that it has
lost that time to harass someone else.) :-)
detour mail to nickless@flash.ras.anl.gov
[Moderator's Note: Based on only one sentence from the person calling,
how do you know it was a telemarketer and not a police officer,
hospital clerk or someone Mr. and Mrs. White *do* need and want to
speak with? PAT]tneff@bfmny0.bfm.com (Tom Neff) (11/14/90)
I discovered a really fun way to deal with telemarketers!
*RING* *RING*
ME: Hello?
TM: Hello, is this Thomas Neff?
ME: Yes, can I help you?
TM: Well Mr Neff, I'm calling from XXXXX and I was wondering if you had
a few moments to talk about blah blah blah blah.......
(I wait for the whole sentence to finish -- don't cut him off)
ME: What number are you calling from?
TM: Um... urgh... errr... um.... Well have you heard about our blah
blah blah....?
ME: I asked you what number you're calling from.
TM: Well... <frantically searching his scripts for something to say>
Perhaps this isn't a good time to call you...
ME: No, it's a fine time to call. What number are you calling from?
TM: <...pause...>
*CLICK*
I've done this three times recently, with only minor variations. It is
more fun than ice cream! The poor TM slaves have to go by their
carefully prepared scripts, but nothing has prepared them for my
perfectly reasonable non-answerable question! I can't be accused of
abusive behavior, yet they MUST hang up!
Pass it on ... it would be terrific if a few thousand exchanges like
the above took place this month :-)carroll@beaver.cs.washington.edu (Jeff Carroll) (11/17/90)
In article <14383@accuvax.nwu.edu> nickless@flash.ras.anl.gov (Bill Nickless) writes: >Sleaze: "Is Mr. Nickless available?" (Or better yet, I live with my > recently widowed aunt, and the Sleaze asks for "Mr. or Mrs. > White....") >(20 minutes later, Sleaze hangs up in disgust, realizing that it has >lost that time to harass someone else.) :-) >[Moderator's Note: Based on only one sentence from the person calling, >how do you know it was a telemarketer and not a police officer, >hospital clerk or someone Mr. and Mrs. White *do* need and want to >speak with? PAT] For about three years after we got married, our phone was listed under my wife's maiden name, though I usually answered the phone. It was not very difficult to figure out what was afoot on calls like these: Me: Hello? Other person: "Mr. Burns?" Actually, here in Bellevue, the police department (or, rather, the Police Officers' Guild) *does* engage in telemarketing. I was interrupted during the second game of the World Series by a police officer seeking a rather large donation ($25/head) to pay for "tickets for disadvantaged youth" to a circus that was coming to town. Being wrapped up in the ball game, I didn't bother to investigate further, but it did sound a little fishy -- not to mention the uncomfortable feeling that accompanies receiving phone calls from local cops asking for money. Jeff Carroll carroll@atc.boeing.com
john@bovine.ati.com (John Higdon) (11/19/90)
Jeff Carroll <bcsaic!carroll@beaver.cs.washington.edu> writes: > Being wrapped up in the ball game, I didn't bother to > investigate further, but it did sound a little fishy -- not to mention > the uncomfortable feeling that accompanies receiving phone calls from > local cops asking for money. While we are on the subject of telemarketing, perhaps it should be mentioned why some upper executives are hard to reach and hide behind secretaries. In addition to many others, the Police Athletic League in San Jose (now called the Police Activities League) was a most aggressive telemarketer, along with the Peace Officers Association. When I was president of a telecommunications firm (and part owner), there could be ten to twenty telemarketing calls a day. Some were unsophisticated and simply asked for the "owner of the business". Others did some homework and found out names. (Corporate officers are a matter of public record.) We had a very sharp receptionist, but even she would succomb to, "This is Sergeant McFlatfoot with the San Jose Police Department. May I speak to Mr. John Higdon please?" in authoritative tones. Sgt. McFlatfoot would of course attempt to cause guilt if I didn't buy a block of tickets to help the disadvantaged youth in his program. All in all, anyone in business is deluged with junk calls all day long. Investments, office products, insurance, invoice factoring, collection services, and charities of every manner and description are just some of the garbage that attempts to enter via the telephone. This is not to mention the foot traffic--picture sellers, car waxers, nicnac peddlers, even custom tailored suits are offered door to door. Anyone who feels that solicitation is annoying at home should have the experience of owning a business. It makes one a seasoned expert at saying "no". John Higdon | P. O. Box 7648 | +1 408 723 1395 john@bovine.ati.com | San Jose, CA 95150 | M o o !
carols@drilex.dri.mgh.com (Carol Springs) (11/19/90)
Jeff Carroll reports in Volume 10, Issue 828: > Actually, here in Bellevue, the police department (or, rather, >the Police Officers' Guild) *does* engage in telemarketing. Back when I was living in Philadelphia and had less experience with telemarketers, I received a call one afternoon that went like this: VOICE: Hello, Mrs. Jones? [Jones was a current single male resident in the house] ME: There is no Mrs. Jones here. VOICE: Mrs. Smith? [Smith was a former single male resident] ME: No. VOICE: Who am I speaking to? ME: What do you want? VOICE: [Long monotonic speech about being from the Fraternal Order of Police and "selling" circus tickets for disadvantaged youth, as Jeff Carroll describes above. The last sentence is something about how much should they put me down for, but I don't hear it very well] ME: Excuse me? VOICE: [Starts to repeat *entire spiel*, not just the last sentence] I recall that I somehow extracted myself from the conversation without simply hanging up on the guy, which in my misguided youth I was loath to do to anyone. But when I thought about it afterward, a tactical question sprang to mind and I wished I could replay things: [didn't happen but should have] ME: As a member of the Fraternal Order of Police, do you often encourage women to give out their names to unidentified callers on the phone? VOICE: <click> Carol Springs carols@drilex.dri.mgh.com
jgt10@uts.amdahl.com (John G. Thompson) (11/20/90)
In article <14702@accuvax.nwu.edu> Tom Neff <tneff@bfmny0.bfm.com> writes: >ME: What number are you calling from? >TM: Um... urgh... errr... um.... Well have you heard about our blah > blah blah....? In a smiliar vein I had a Pac*Bell TM call me. ME: Hello. TM: May I speak to Mr or Mrs Thompson? ME: Speaking. TM: You recently received some mail from us and I would like to talk to you about the offer. (Something like that.) ME: I'm sorry, but we haven't received anything from Pac*Bell recently You'll have to call us back when we get it. TM: Oh. Thank you. On talking with my wife we did get some add from them weeks ago, which we had promptly thrown out. John G. Thompson Amdahl Corporation jgt10@uts.amdahl.com P.O. Box 3470 MS 340 {sun,uunet}!amdahl!jgt10 #include <disclamer.h> Sunnyvale, CA 94088 1-408-737-5708
friedl@mtndew.tustin.ca.us (Stephen J. Friedl) (11/21/90)
There have been various discussions about how to deal with
telemarketers, and John Higdon mentions that the game is quite
different for businesses than it is for people at home. We get these
calls from people wanting to hit us up for the police athletic league
or disabled veterans or whatever all the time, but rather than be
combative or irritated that they have taken time out of our day, we
decided to make a game out of it for *our* fun.
Since we had gotten pretty good at recognizing these charities by the
way they asked for the callee, we made up a person who was in charge
of what they wanted: he was Mr. Szudsen. The problem is, this person
was never in the office (darn!). We were always prepared to take a
message, but of course they would always rather just call back later
(probably because they weren't summarily blown off and because they
had a real *name*).
So, whenever we got a call for Mr. Szudsen we got progressively more
interesting in the detailed explanation about why he was not in.
First he is just out of town for a day or two, then yachting to
Mexico, and so on, until he was on safari in Africa or assisting the
Contras in Nicaragua. If you have somebody who has been really
persistent but seems ready to give up, say that he is accepting an
award from the President for outstanding volunteerism -- that should
keep them going for a while.
If you are not very good at determining these calls from the first
voice but you still want to have some fun, try this: fill out a
reader-service card from a magazine asking for some insurance
information or make a small donation to a police charity but be sure
to use Mr. Szudsen's name. Now you have primed the pump and it is
just a matter of time.
This is more fun in a smaller office where everybody kicks in to
answer the phone, so you can all get turns on occasion. You gotta
make sure that everybody knows about this person, and you gotta keep
from laughing.
Stephen J. Friedl, KA8CMY / 3B2-kind-of-guy / Tustin, CA / 3B2-kind-of-guy
+1 714 544 6561 / friedl@mtndew.Tustin.CA.US / {uunet,attmail}!mtndew!friedlemanuele%overlf@princeton.edu (Mark A. Emanuele) (11/25/90)
I recently got a call from a company called "T.H.E. Phone Company" telling me that I could save a bundle if i switched to a new long distance "program", I asked them if they were AT&T. Response: We're The Phone Company. Again I asked if they were AT&T (my long distance carrier). Response: Hold on one second while I get my supervisor. Supervisor: Can I help You ? Me: What is the name of your company? Supv: The Phone Company. Me: No, your corporate name. Supv: "T.H.E. Phone Company, Inc." Me: CLICK ! I wonder if AT&T or NJ Bell know about this fraud! Mark A. Emanuele V.P. Engineering Overleaf, Inc. 500 Route 10 Ledgewood, NJ 07852-9639 attmail!overlf!emanuele (201) 927-3785 Voice (201) 927-5781 Fax emanuele@overlf.UUCP [Moderator's Note: I'm sure they know about it. The problem is there is no copyright or prohibition on the phrase 'The Phone Company', so there is no way telco can stop them. These days, neither NJB or AT&T are *the* phone company, but merely two of several which can call themselves that. Here in Chicago we had a fellow who incorporated his business as 'The Phone Company', and his pitch was for a maintainence agreement you signed on a one year contract for him to fix your phones when they were broken, ala Illinois Bell's 'Line Backer' program. IBT screamed about it, but it was only when the Consumer Fraud division of the Attorney General's office caught him claiming to be part and parcel of IBT in one of his calls tape recorded by their agent that they were able to shut him down. His monthly invoices even looked *identical* to IBT's -- even with 'other charges and credits' !! His bills did not say IBT, but they did include the old Bell System logo of the bell inside the circle, which I guess belongs to no one now. PAT]