[news.groups] twits on the net

chuq@Apple.COM (Chuq Von Rospach) (01/06/90)

In article <1990Jan5.073857.24939@twwells.com>, bill@twwells.com (T. William Wells) writes:

> After the garbage that Sexton has perpetrated, I wouldn't put
> anything past him. His latest e-mail to me shows that he is just
> plain sick.

Hmm. He must have been in a good mood. I got some rather stupid mail from
Sexton, too, breaking a (not long enough) period of quiet from him. I'd
thought he'd found new people to bother, but I was wrong...

It *did* however make me finally put together something I've wanted for a
while -- at the end of this message you'll find Fido, the obedient Twit
Detector, phase 1. It's a shell script that will let you return a message to
someone in such a way that they can't pretend to misinterpret your feelings
about them. Fido, Phase 2 will hook into a .forward file, keep an eye on
incoming addresses and do it automatically -- at that point, your mailbox
becomes effectively as protected as your USENET does with a kill file. You
can, finally, make someone 'disappear' from the net and stop bothering you
or wasting your time.

People who want to use Fido may. Suggestions and improvements are always
welcome. And when I get Fido II going, I'll may make it available, also.

Unfortunately, I wish the net hadn't come down to kill files and watchdogs.
I don't see any way around it, though.

> Post anything at all in response to this message and I'll
> cheerfully post that garbage you sent to me.

My comment to Sexton: you're in my kill file, so I don't care what you say.
If it's libelous, someone else will let me know about it. Otherwise, I'm
enjoying the quiet. It's a much nicer net with you missing. The same can
probably be said for a few other choice names out there, too, but that's
between me and my kill file.

---- fido.csh ----

#! /bin/csh -f
# send the given file to the given address as a mailer daemon error

if ($#argv != 2) then
	echo "fido: address data_file"
	exit 1
endif

set addresses = $1
set datafile = $2

(echo "Reply-To: nobody"; \
 echo "Subject: Mailer daemon error: Mail from sender refused." ;\
 echo "" ; \
 echo "### Notice: this message has been intercepted by Fido, a"; \
 echo "###    Twit Detector. You have been defined as a Twit,"; \
 echo "###    and my master refuses to read your mail. If you";\
 echo "###    think this was done in error, you do not know"; \
 echo "###    my master very well. This message is being returned"; \
 echo "###    to you because my master has better things to do"; \
 echo "###    his time than read it."; \
 echo "###"; \
 echo "###    woof woof." ;\
 echo "###    His obedient servant, Fido, the twit decector."; \
 echo "###" ; echo ""; \
 echo "" ; echo "   --- Copy of rejected message follows ---"; echo ""; \
 sed -e 's/^/      /' $datafile) | /usr/lib/sendmail -F "My Twit Detector" -t $1

---- end of fido.csh ----
-- 

Chuq Von Rospach   <+>   chuq@apple.com   <+>   [This is myself speaking]

Trivia question for the week: What do the following names all have in
common? JHenderson, Milo D. Cooper, Clayton Cramer, Oleg Kiselev, Tim Maroney
Bob Mosley III, Richard Sexton, Dave Sill, Brad Templeton, Patricia O Tuama.

tim@hoptoad.uucp (Tim Maroney) (01/06/90)

First of all, it's nice to know that my rule of thumb has been
validated once again; only utter scumbags try to redirect messages to
the bit bucket by using unmentioned Followup-To lines.  Let's hope this
obnoxious and childish practice dies out soon.

In article <37628@apple.Apple.COM> chuq@Apple.COM (Chuq Von Rospach) writes:
> echo "### Notice: this message has been intercepted by Fido, a"; \

Fido, Fido, now let's see, I could swear that name was already taken
in networking....

> echo "###    Twit Detector. You have been defined as a Twit,"; \
> echo "###    and my master refuses to read your mail. If you";\
> echo "###    think this was done in error, you do not know"; \
> echo "###    my master very well. This message is being returned"; \
> echo "###    to you because my master has better things to do"; \
> echo "###    his time than read it."; \

Typographical error 1.

"Do his time"?

Perhaps this should be classified as a Freudian slip instead.

> echo "###"; \
> echo "###    woof woof." ;\
> echo "###    His obedient servant, Fido, the twit decector."; \

Typographical error 2.

Boy, Chuck, people are really going to be impressed when they get one
of these semi-literate messages, you betchum.

>Trivia question for the week: What do the following names all have in
>common? JHenderson, Milo D. Cooper, Clayton Cramer, Oleg Kiselev, Tim Maroney
>Bob Mosley III, Richard Sexton, Dave Sill, Brad Templeton, Patricia O Tuama.

All of them could beat you in any argument without raising a sweat?

Yeah, I thought that was it.

No wonder your reaction to their presence is to stick your fingers in
your ears and scream "I'M NOT LISTENING! NO ONE ELSE BETTER LISTEN TO
THEM EITHER!"

Grow up, fatboy.
-- 
Tim Maroney, Mac Software Consultant, sun!hoptoad!tim, tim@toad.com

"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied;
 better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied."
	-- John Stuart Mill, UTILITARIANISM (1863)

jef@well.UUCP (Jef Poskanzer) (01/07/90)

In the referenced message, tim@hoptoad.UUCP (Tim Maroney) wrote:
}First of all, it's nice to know that my rule of thumb has been
}validated once again; only utter scumbags try to redirect messages to
}the bit bucket by using unmentioned Followup-To lines.

The main reason I read misc.test is so I can see who gets caught by this
simple but amusing trick.  Tim has been caught quite a few times.  Either
he doesn't learn very well, or he likes getting mail from daemon.
---
Jef

  Jef Poskanzer  jef@well.sf.ca.us  {ucbvax, apple, hplabs}!well!jef
                         "Not the cone, Max."

peter@ficc.uu.net (Peter da Silva) (01/07/90)

> Trivia question for the week: What do the following names all have in
> common? JHenderson, Milo D. Cooper, Clayton Cramer, Oleg Kiselev, Tim Maroney
> Bob Mosley III, Richard Sexton, Dave Sill, Brad Templeton, Patricia O Tuama.

Hey, I object to your inclusion of some of those names. Brad Templeton may
be guilty of poor judgement on occasion, but I haven't known him to be
malicious. And I wouldn't paint some of the others with the same brush,
either.
-- 
 _--_|\  Peter da Silva. +1 713 274 5180. <peter@ficc.uu.net>.
/      \ Also <peter@ficc.lonestar.org> or <peter@sugar.lonestar.org>
\_.--._/
      v  "Have you hugged your wolf today?" `-_-'

tim@hoptoad.uucp (Tim Maroney) (01/08/90)

>In the referenced message, tim@hoptoad.UUCP (Tim Maroney) wrote:
>}First of all, it's nice to know that my rule of thumb has been
>}validated once again; only utter scumbags try to redirect messages to
>}the bit bucket by using unmentioned Followup-To lines.

And then, amazingly, one of the net's major scumbags does the same
thing, as if to proclaim his status to the world.  But again, I long
ago learned to check.  Not that Poskanzer's "myass" would even have
fooled a twit; lacking a period, it doesn't even look right to a
casual glance.

In article <15396@well.UUCP> Jef Poskanzer <jef@well.sf.ca.us> writes:
>The main reason I read misc.test is so I can see who gets caught by this
>simple but amusing trick.  Tim has been caught quite a few times.  Either
>he doesn't learn very well, or he likes getting mail from daemon.

Bullshit.  If "quite a few times" is once every two or three months,
out of dozens of attempts to get me to fall for it, then the moon is
also made of green cheese.

And by the way, Dopey, getting mail from daemon when a message can't be
sent is not a general characteristic of all systems.  It doesn't happen
here; I know because I sometimes answer crossposted messages and fail
to notice that one of the groups is not present here.

What a bozo.
-- 
Tim Maroney, Mac Software Consultant, sun!hoptoad!tim, tim@toad.com

"I see little divinity about them or you.  You talk to me of Christianity
 when you are in the act of hanging your enemies.  Was there ever such
 blasphemous nonsense!" - Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple"

jef@well.UUCP (Jef Poskanzer) (01/08/90)

In the referenced message, tim@hoptoad.UUCP (Tim Maroney) wrote:
}Not that Poskanzer's "myass" would even have
}fooled a twit; lacking a period, it doesn't even look right to a
}casual glance.

It apparently fooled you.  I guess you're not a twit!

}In article <15396@well.UUCP> Jef Poskanzer <jef@well.sf.ca.us> writes:
}>The main reason I read misc.test is so I can see who gets caught by this
}>simple but amusing trick.  Tim has been caught quite a few times.  Either
}>he doesn't learn very well, or he likes getting mail from daemon.
}
}Bullshit.  If "quite a few times" is once every two or three months,
}out of dozens of attempts to get me to fall for it, then the moon is
}also made of green cheese.

If I were to fall for this stupid trick more than once in a lifetime, I
would retire my .signature in shame.  Once every few months??  Tim, where
are you keeping your brain, in a pickle jar??

}And by the way, Dopey, getting mail from daemon when a message can't be
}sent is not a general characteristic of all systems.  It doesn't happen
}here; I know because I sometimes answer crossposted messages and fail
}to notice that one of the groups is not present here.

Again with the bragging about your stupidity.  Twice!  Listen, sub-twit,
what I meant by getting mail from daemon is all the automated test
reflectors out there.  That's the whole fucking point of getting someone
to post to misc.test!  Apparently you DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR MAILBOX GETTING
FLOODED EVERY TWO OR THREE MONTHS.  I guess it was just one more mysterious
thing about Unix that you gave up hope of ever understanding.

}What a bozo.

Precisely.  Tim, you are a bozo of extraordinary magnitude.
---
Jef
                                   
  Jef Poskanzer  jef@well.sf.ca.us  {ucbvax, apple, hplabs}!well!jef
                           "A TOY ROBOT!!!!"

tim@hoptoad.uucp (Tim Maroney) (01/09/90)

In the referenced message, tim@hoptoad.UUCP (Tim Maroney) wrote:
>Not that Poskanzer's "myass" would even have
>fooled a twit; lacking a period, it doesn't even look right to a
>casual glance.

In article <15416@well.UUCP> Jef Poskanzer <jef@well.sf.ca.us> writes:
>It apparently fooled you.

You really are the most dreadful liar, Dopey.  I changed the Newsgroups
line back to news.groups before sending the message, despite your
typically dishonest claims to the contrary.

>}And by the way, Dopey, getting mail from daemon when a message can't be
>}sent is not a general characteristic of all systems.  It doesn't happen
>}here; I know because I sometimes answer crossposted messages and fail
>}to notice that one of the groups is not present here.
>
>Again with the bragging about your stupidity.  Twice!  Listen, sub-twit,
>what I meant by getting mail from daemon is all the automated test
>reflectors out there.  That's the whole fucking point of getting someone
>to post to misc.test!  Apparently you DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR MAILBOX GETTING
>FLOODED EVERY TWO OR THREE MONTHS.  I guess it was just one more mysterious
>thing about Unix that you gave up hope of ever understanding.

No, Dopey, you idiot.  I have never, not once, gotten a single message
from daemon in the very rare instances where I have not caught this
trick.  Not daemon here, not daemon there, not daemon anywhere.  Jesus
Christ, get a clue.
-- 
Tim Maroney, Mac Software Consultant, sun!hoptoad!tim, tim@toad.com

"Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box
 Religion is the smile on a dog" -- Edie Brickell, "What I Am"

jef@well.UUCP (Jef Poskanzer) (01/10/90)

In the referenced message, tim@hoptoad.UUCP (Tim Maroney) wrote:
}In article <15416@well.UUCP> Jef Poskanzer <jef@well.sf.ca.us> writes:
}>It apparently fooled you.
}
}You really are the most dreadful liar, Dopey.  I changed the Newsgroups
}line back to news.groups before sending the message, despite your
}typically dishonest claims to the contrary.

Really, most sincerely dense.  You just don't get it.  *Won't* get it.

}No, Dopey, you idiot.  I have never, not once, gotten a single message
}from daemon in the very rare instances where I have not caught this
}trick.  Not daemon here, not daemon there, not daemon anywhere.

Either you're lying, or John has you managing hoptoad's email.

Seriously, though, you ought to get John to check that.  Sounds like
there's a problem.

Oh, yeah: idiot, scum, moron, etc.  I know you wouldn't be happy without
some gratuitous name-calling.
---
Jef
                                   
  Jef Poskanzer  jef@well.sf.ca.us  {ucbvax, apple, hplabs}!well!jef
 "It wasn't lies.  It was just bullshit, that's all." -- Elwood Blues